i leave on friday after work. after that, who knows.

i spoke too soon.

1 week from right this second, i will be on my way to bring back switters. we're meeting in crested butte, then on to see his family, then winding our way back here. kato is already here and is a sweet kitty. i love having him around. switters has a job offer in everett, wa and i have an interview in kent on tuesday. so we may be moving to seattle. lots of stuff seems to be falling into place but it's a little scary. for both of us. i have missed him so much and am so looking forward to being with him again. i do love him so...

so, i've been thinking too much about the sucky things in my life lately. i get bogged down, stuck on one line of negative thought. and it's just pointless. my life is *not* that bad. the other day at work a woman asked me where the cancer center was and i had no idea. she asked a couple of times, i pointed her in the direction of the information desk and said they could probably help her, but you know, i was a little annoyed--stuck in my own head trying to get on with my day. but as soon as i walked off i closed my eyes, what an asshole i just was. so caught up in my own menial problems. this woman has cancer, or is there for someone who does. how lucky am i that i'm healthy, that my family is healthy. and i couldn't spare a moment to help this woman find where she needed to go. i felt terrible.
anyway, to refocus my mind, so i'm not such a jerk, here is my list of how wonderful my life is and how lucky i am:
i am healthy
i have a wonderful, close family
i have switters
i have good friends
i live in a nice place and eat good food
i lost 15 pounds
i've been able to travel to amazing places
i have wonderful memories

more later...

ugh. crappy run. did somewhere between 10 and 11.5 miles. i was shooting for the latter, but my knee was absolutely killing me. that was really the first time it's given me any trouble, but it was too much for me. i'm thinking i'm going to have to keep to the elliptical machine this week so as to not put any more strain on it. i have to register for the race tomorrow. i don't really know where my girls are in their training, but i hope i can do it.
switters countdown is 4 weeks. i can hardly believe it.
this weekend i'm going home to atlanta for my niece's birthday. i still haven't gotten her a present. what do you get a 4 year old?
then just 3 measley weeks! then 2, then 1!!

i didn't feel like doing the hill so i only did 10 miles yesterday. when did running 10 miles become easy for me? there was a time not so long ago that i was ecstatic i could run 1 mile without stopping. i love the fact that i can do it, but i'm still not at the point where i really love actually doing it. it's just an escape.
do you know how much i hate leaf blowers? a lot. they're such a nuisance. they're loud, smelly, gas consumers. why not just use a rake people? how well do leaf blowers work on wet, decomposing leaves anyway? my apartment comples uses one in the courtyardm which all of my windows face, so it's deafening and all the exhaust gets sucked into my apartment. i HATE them!!!
i just bought a cd today--brandi carlile. i'm quite liking it.
switters countdown 5 weeks!

i made it 11miles yesterday and found the really big hill. it was brutal. i'm feeling pretty confident i'll be able to run the half marathon now, barring any injuries.
i hate being broke. i'm trying to save money for the trip with switters in november so i'm trying my very best to be frugal and still have a life. it's very difficult.
switters countdown is 6 weeks!!

today i made it 10 miles! it seemed easy too, i was only huffing a little up a couple of hills. i don't know why it's easier some days than others. maybe it's because i'm really happy these days. i'm good when i'm angry and just pounding out the miles, but maybe i'm better when i'm happy and feeling invincible.
i did race for the cure yesterday. it was only 5k but it was good to get in with all those people running at the same time. it was my first race to run.
switters countdown is 7 week now. i am so psyched. tickets to tulsa now are really cheap and i'm half tempted to go down for the weekend, but it's better to save my money for our trip. just thinking about it makes me want to dance around.

9 miles today. i'm hoping to increase by a mile a week. i;ve done 9.5 before but not anything over so next week will be new ground for me if i can make it.
so a lot of people are making a big deal about how much weight i've lost and i'm starting to get self-conscious about it. i've lost around 15 or so pounds. i weight 112 which is what i did in high school, but i have a lot more muscle and am much more athletic than i ever was then, so all in all i am probably thinner than i was then. i don;t know. my trainer says i'm doing great--not losing any muscle or anything, my boyfriend thinks i'm hot, i think i'm looking pretty good, but the other people are just kind of bothering me. eh, what do you do?
switters countdown is 8 weeks. he's got a lot to wrap up in tulsa. i hope the stress doesn't become too much. we've already come so far, i want to just coast on bliss for a while.

the hurricaine has been on my mind. i lived on the gulf coast in mobile, al for 2 years, just an hour away from new orleans so i went there a lot. spent my last college spring break there too with an old boyfriend. it's got a lot of memories for me. perhaps i'm in denial. i mean, i've seen all the devastation, it looks like a third word country over there (which i've seen first hand as well), but i can't help but believe that it's all going to come back. new orleans can't just be destroyed, there's too much culture, too much history, too much resiliency. they withstood the flood of '27, camille in '69, they'll come back from this too. am i just naive?

well, after a couple of weeks of gluttony and sloth, i dropped off on my mileage: last week i could only run 7, this week 8. but my plan is to increase by a mile a week so i can get up to half marathon distance long before the actual race. especially since 3 weeks before race time i'll be taking a couple weeks off for a road trip with switters. i am so excited about that. we're now thinking of going the northern route so we can go through colorado and i can meet his parents and brothers and their families and see all the places he rambled around when he was growing up. my only concern is my driving out in the snow going out there and being cold. i hate to be cold. i guess i just have to make sure i have to right supplies. only 10 weeks.
the weather has turned brisk and i LOVE it! it always puts me in such a great mood. i started a new knitting project that i hope to finish by november. i also started working on a puzzle. i was feeling very domestic and crafty yesterday--i cleaned, baked some banana bread, wrote some letters.
i think i need some more coffee. switters is calling in a few so we can look over an atlas and a calendar and make some more concrete plans.