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mexicore I don't want his porkchop, I want his life

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MAY 14, 2013 @ 02:52 PM | NO COMMENTS


Internet Dating Fun Facts...

*Internet Dating Fun Fact: If a woman describes herself as “Your typical OC woman” on her online dating profile, there’s a pretty good chance she means “Obsessive Compulsive” and not “Orange County.”

*IDFF: If a man describes himself as “Down to earth” on his online dating profile, he’s either a dwarf, or was born without legs. Be sure to ask for a full body photo to avoid an awkward first date.

*IDFF: If a woman writes “Loves to travel” on her online dating profile, it usually means she wants the man to pay for it.

*IDFF: If a man describes himself as a “Homebody” on his online dating profile, he’s either on house arrest, or has bodies buried in his home.

*IDFF: If a woman writes “Loves to read” on her online dating profile, she probably means 50 Shades of Grey.

*IDFF: If a man writes “Loves to read” on his online dating profile, he probably really loves to read… just not YOUR profile.

*IDFF: If a woman writes that she only dates men who are 6’2” or taller, I’ll usually just lie and show up to the date anyway. If she complains or calls me out on it, I’ll tell her “Oh really? Well I only date women who are 36DD, so deal with it.”

*IDFF: If a man lists “MMA” as his favorite sport on his online dating profile, be sure to tell him that you don’t grapple on the first date.

*IDFF: If a woman writes “Loves the outdoors” on her online dating profile, she’s most likely homeless.

*IDFF: If a man lists his body type as “Athletic” on his online dating profile, there’s usually a douchey pic of him flexing in the bathroom mirror to prove it.

*IDFF: If a woman lists “Clubbing” as a hobby on her online dating profile, she probably means baby seals.

*IDFF: If a man’s online dating screen name is “LaidBackDude87,” it’s probably because the name “DudeIOnceGotLaidBackIn87” is just wayyy too long.

*IDFF: If a woman describes herself as...
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