Oh, hey. Look who did a listener hour for WFMU.
I was hella nervous. Still, Ken, the program director and station manager for WFMU, asked me when I will be moving to town so I can do a weekly show when we chatted at the Record Fair. I don't know how serious I was, but I was mad complimented. I never would have done a listener hour unless he had asked me to do so. Awww.
More radness at the record fair: I got lots of cool French records; Tom Scharpling bought me a sodey; Terre T hugged me and high-fived me. Actually, she high-tenned me.
ALSO!! At the Merge showcase, I got kind of drunk off of two Blue Moons (I know, low tolerance) and shouted, "I love you, Mac" between songs during the Portastatic set. Mac said, "I don't... know if I love you." I said, "That hurts." He said, "Well, I don't know you! I might love you!" I said, "I think I love Jon Wurster more." And there was laughter from the stage and from the audience, and Mac said, "Oh, I know Jon loves you, he just texted me about it." Good times, good times. After the show, I apologized for the zinger. He came up to me, patted my arm, and said, "I do love you." Awwwwww.
In other news, I have a crush on Molly from PONYTAIL.
Amazingly, there were no douchebag comments thrown at the stage during the Brooklyn Vegan showcase. I guess assholes on the internet only feel free to say jerkwad shit under the guise of anonymity? Makes sense!! Also also, Jens the Singing DJ was pretty amazing.
I should also admit that I have a crush on Tara Jane O'Neil. Dan, the percussionist and guy who plays that weird accordion-like thing with His Name Is Alive, was playing with TJO. It was pretty epic. Mirah played at the same show as Tara Jane. Lots o' lesbians. <3
I was hella nervous. Still, Ken, the program director and station manager for WFMU, asked me when I will be moving to town so I can do a weekly show when we chatted at the Record Fair. I don't know how serious I was, but I was mad complimented. I never would have done a listener hour unless he had asked me to do so. Awww.
More radness at the record fair: I got lots of cool French records; Tom Scharpling bought me a sodey; Terre T hugged me and high-fived me. Actually, she high-tenned me.
ALSO!! At the Merge showcase, I got kind of drunk off of two Blue Moons (I know, low tolerance) and shouted, "I love you, Mac" between songs during the Portastatic set. Mac said, "I don't... know if I love you." I said, "That hurts." He said, "Well, I don't know you! I might love you!" I said, "I think I love Jon Wurster more." And there was laughter from the stage and from the audience, and Mac said, "Oh, I know Jon loves you, he just texted me about it." Good times, good times. After the show, I apologized for the zinger. He came up to me, patted my arm, and said, "I do love you." Awwwwww.
In other news, I have a crush on Molly from PONYTAIL.
Amazingly, there were no douchebag comments thrown at the stage during the Brooklyn Vegan showcase. I guess assholes on the internet only feel free to say jerkwad shit under the guise of anonymity? Makes sense!! Also also, Jens the Singing DJ was pretty amazing.
I should also admit that I have a crush on Tara Jane O'Neil. Dan, the percussionist and guy who plays that weird accordion-like thing with His Name Is Alive, was playing with TJO. It was pretty epic. Mirah played at the same show as Tara Jane. Lots o' lesbians. <3
Jarvis and I totally had a moment last night. Even the nice girl who I talked with about Jarv confirmed this! She was looking right at me after and mouthed, "Oh my god," and she said she was sooooo jealous. I was right up front and he pointed directly at me and made eye contact, Then he sang, "Girls like it too," which was sex advice John Peel gave his little brother apparently. And it's true! I do like it too! But only with Jaaaaarvis. I am so pathetically in love. He is my Beatles. He is my Prince. He is my Elvis. BUT BETTER THAN ALL THREE.
Pictures when I come back, I have a great one where he sang the line "teddy bear with an erection." Also, a wonderful pelvic thrust pic. I think I orgasmed, and I wasn't the only one based on the estrogen-heavy screams emanating from the crowd. I wasn't the only one to scream, "I LOVE YOU, JARVIS." Guys screamed it, too! And when he took his jacket off, I might have yelled, "Take your shirt off!" He didn't.
Wow wow wow.
After Jarvis, I headed over with my pal Ben to see Cheap Time, Jay Reatard, and King Khan & His Shrines at the Bottom Lounge. They were incredible. I was blown away by Cheap Time's CHEEEEEEEEKBONES. I want to fuck them all. Also, the drummer had a mustache, but it was okay because he took his shirt off. And Jay was all business. He touched hands with the crowd after his set. I touched his hand!! Yes, sir. And King Khan... Wow. Ben said he is the Indian James Brown, and it is true. He was just spectacular. It was a sexy, sexy set. I smelled things I've never smelled before, and tasted things I've never tasted before. YESSSSSS. Also, I stole the guitarist's pick. He had dropped it at the end of the show because his guitar was having sex with a saxophone. (Srsly.) He also had gone out in the crowd for a little bit, which was way cool. I helped get the cord back on the stage. Also, the bassist BODY SURFED. Yes. It was pretty awesome. There was also a lot of simulated sex.
After the show, it was pouring, so Ben and I had a third round. 312 is not a bad beer! Go Goose Ale. Then he walked me over to Randolph so I could catch a cab, It was kind of scarce at 2 am. Fortunately, this guy with a Pitchfork "Artist" badge ran up to us and asked us if we were trying to catch a cab. He was going downtown, too, so we teamed up and he managed to yell down a cab shortly thereafter. It turns out I was actually sharing the cab with the founder of Pitchfork! We gushed about King Khan and talked bands and stuff. It was pretty cool!
Yay.
I'm off to eat at Lou Mitchell's, and then I'll head over to Union Park for Boris, Les Savy Fav, Apples in Stereo (ugh, I'm going to miss King Khan's performance there), and Spiritualized. HOT HOT HOT.
Pictures when I come back, I have a great one where he sang the line "teddy bear with an erection." Also, a wonderful pelvic thrust pic. I think I orgasmed, and I wasn't the only one based on the estrogen-heavy screams emanating from the crowd. I wasn't the only one to scream, "I LOVE YOU, JARVIS." Guys screamed it, too! And when he took his jacket off, I might have yelled, "Take your shirt off!" He didn't.
Wow wow wow.
After Jarvis, I headed over with my pal Ben to see Cheap Time, Jay Reatard, and King Khan & His Shrines at the Bottom Lounge. They were incredible. I was blown away by Cheap Time's CHEEEEEEEEKBONES. I want to fuck them all. Also, the drummer had a mustache, but it was okay because he took his shirt off. And Jay was all business. He touched hands with the crowd after his set. I touched his hand!! Yes, sir. And King Khan... Wow. Ben said he is the Indian James Brown, and it is true. He was just spectacular. It was a sexy, sexy set. I smelled things I've never smelled before, and tasted things I've never tasted before. YESSSSSS. Also, I stole the guitarist's pick. He had dropped it at the end of the show because his guitar was having sex with a saxophone. (Srsly.) He also had gone out in the crowd for a little bit, which was way cool. I helped get the cord back on the stage. Also, the bassist BODY SURFED. Yes. It was pretty awesome. There was also a lot of simulated sex.
After the show, it was pouring, so Ben and I had a third round. 312 is not a bad beer! Go Goose Ale. Then he walked me over to Randolph so I could catch a cab, It was kind of scarce at 2 am. Fortunately, this guy with a Pitchfork "Artist" badge ran up to us and asked us if we were trying to catch a cab. He was going downtown, too, so we teamed up and he managed to yell down a cab shortly thereafter. It turns out I was actually sharing the cab with the founder of Pitchfork! We gushed about King Khan and talked bands and stuff. It was pretty cool!
Yay.
I'm off to eat at Lou Mitchell's, and then I'll head over to Union Park for Boris, Les Savy Fav, Apples in Stereo (ugh, I'm going to miss King Khan's performance there
), and Spiritualized. HOT HOT HOT.Billy Childish should take off his shirt more often. You don't believe me? Need proof? I WILL OBLIGE.
GOOD LORD. He should Matthew McConaughey it everywhere. All the time. Seriously.
Um, wow. And that's not even an old photo! That's from last year, I think. Jeeeeeeeesus, he has aged well.
Speaking of serious hotness, the boys of Cheap Time have amaaaaaaazing bone structure. Look at those jaws!!!
O hai, cheekbones.
I am going to see these fellows in person. They're playing the In the Red afterparty thingy for Pitchfork. They're opening for Jay Reatard, whom I love, and King Khan. Wowzers, that is a hot lineup.
GOOD LORD. He should Matthew McConaughey it everywhere. All the time. Seriously.
Um, wow. And that's not even an old photo! That's from last year, I think. Jeeeeeeeesus, he has aged well.
Speaking of serious hotness, the boys of Cheap Time have amaaaaaaazing bone structure. Look at those jaws!!!
O hai, cheekbones.
I am going to see these fellows in person. They're playing the In the Red afterparty thingy for Pitchfork. They're opening for Jay Reatard, whom I love, and King Khan. Wowzers, that is a hot lineup.
I'm kind of sad. I'm going to miss the midnight screening of The Dark Knight. That night, I will be kicking off my Chicago vacay by doing a 27 course tasting at Alinea. Here's the menu:
My vacation is packed with Pitchfork Music Fest stuff, gallery visits, shopping, and culinary adventures. I won't be able to see The Dark Knight until I return to Miami. Is this what people call first world problems? Or is it rich people problems, because I'm spending $600-700 (with wine pairings, tip, taxes) on a meal for two? Guys, I'm not eligible for a stimulus packet!! I did get my $3,000 tax refund back last month, though. I bought a Hybrid last year. That's why it was so big.
Yeah, definitely rich people's problems. I suck.
I'm a trustafarian. Don't hate.
My vacation is packed with Pitchfork Music Fest stuff, gallery visits, shopping, and culinary adventures. I won't be able to see The Dark Knight until I return to Miami. Is this what people call first world problems? Or is it rich people problems, because I'm spending $600-700 (with wine pairings, tip, taxes) on a meal for two? Guys, I'm not eligible for a stimulus packet!! I did get my $3,000 tax refund back last month, though. I bought a Hybrid last year. That's why it was so big.
Yeah, definitely rich people's problems. I suck.
I'm a trustafarian. Don't hate.
Congratulations, The New Yorker cartoon collective. You made me laugh for the first time in a long while, and there were no cats involved!
TRY HARDER! Two funny cartoons a year is not worth the price of subscription! Nor are John Updike's contributions or the Shouts & Murmurs column, the latter of which is never intentionally funny! Or, for that matter, Sasha Frere-Jones crazy racist accusations! Jesus Christ, I still can't get over the fact that he actually called Stephin Merritt racist for liking "Zippity Doo Dah." I guess I'm racist because I like riding Splash Mountain! Oh gee! Anthony Lane, you keep it up! Your reviews of bad movies never fail to make me cackle. David Denby, get a new job. Leave all of the movie reviewing to Anthony Lane, thanks!
Also, INTERNET, keep it up! You continue to make my life better with websites like this one.
ALSO, I'm going to Chicago in July for the Shovel Media.com Festival. I WILL SEE JARVIS IN PERSON, and I will scream, "I LOVE U, JARV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" OMG! The bad news: They sold out of three day passes mere hours after I decided for sure I was going and I had to cough up an extra fifteen bucks and purchase a one-day pass (because I really do need to see Mission of Burma perform Vs. in its entirety) and a two-day pass. Boo! Hiss!
But, Chicago! Yay! I've never been! Should be fun.
TRY HARDER! Two funny cartoons a year is not worth the price of subscription! Nor are John Updike's contributions or the Shouts & Murmurs column, the latter of which is never intentionally funny! Or, for that matter, Sasha Frere-Jones crazy racist accusations! Jesus Christ, I still can't get over the fact that he actually called Stephin Merritt racist for liking "Zippity Doo Dah." I guess I'm racist because I like riding Splash Mountain! Oh gee! Anthony Lane, you keep it up! Your reviews of bad movies never fail to make me cackle. David Denby, get a new job. Leave all of the movie reviewing to Anthony Lane, thanks!
Also, INTERNET, keep it up! You continue to make my life better with websites like this one.
ALSO, I'm going to Chicago in July for the Shovel Media.com Festival. I WILL SEE JARVIS IN PERSON, and I will scream, "I LOVE U, JARV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" OMG! The bad news: They sold out of three day passes mere hours after I decided for sure I was going and I had to cough up an extra fifteen bucks and purchase a one-day pass (because I really do need to see Mission of Burma perform Vs. in its entirety) and a two-day pass. Boo! Hiss!
But, Chicago! Yay! I've never been! Should be fun.
Oh, Popsicle stick joke-writing staff, what am I going to do with you?
This is latest atrocity I had in my mouth was written on a cherry popsicle stick:
"What has wheels and a trunk but no engine?"
I guessed, An elephant on a bike?
The answer:
This is latest atrocity I had in my mouth was written on a cherry popsicle stick:
"What has wheels and a trunk but no engine?"
I guessed, An elephant on a bike?
The answer:
BOO! BOO! HISS! BOO! HISSSSSSSS!
No one but gaylords and Dumbledorks ride around on roller blades these days. Get with the program, Popsicle people.
They're lucky their popsicles are delicious and refreshing. But seriously, they need new material. That one wasn't even the worst one I had all week. This one is:
"What did the calendar name his daughters?"
You guessed it. I'm spoilering it for only the egregiously stupid people who might be reading my journal.
If you didn't get it, please wipe the drool from your chin and wear a helmet while you're roller blading. Or power walking. Or plain ol' walking.
Chomp. Popsicles.
I changed my "about me" blurb. Daleks are so 2007. Tom Nuttall is so 1877.
Yeah. That's more my speed.
Yeah. That's more my speed.
