Nico love her....it is hard to step out of the world that is your head. I just lose myself in tv...mind numbing no thoughts needed...only thing that can stop me from going over and over in my head. I sleep with it on.
Hi. I've been quietly following your blog off and on ever since you were still in the Virgins group, and understand and sense your desperation. I've been quiet and hoping you'd find your way out of your despair and predicaments on your own, but I feel as a concerned person that it's time I said something. I'm also a psychologist, but I'm only licensed to practice on school-age children and have been retired for three years now. (At 55, I'm one of the oldest members of SG if not the oldest!) It would be unethical for me to try to do anything directly as a professional.
Please get professional help. You are too beautiful a person deep down inside to be in such despair. I recall you mentioning in the past being on antidepressants, so you must have had some professional help in the past. Maybe it didn't work out with that particular individual, but don't give up on getting the right kind of help. It may take time and may cost money, but it will be worth it in the end. Please. You are loved and cared about, and those who love and care about you want you to be healthy and happy.
mattacme