Another quick update. Had two appts yesterday down at hospital and a blood test..all went okay. Had a friggin panic attack at work, was not cool. So after reading alot of stuff online i have decided to quit smoking, cold turkey. ..AND caffiene. The two things i heaviloy rely on to get me through the day may well be the two things that have spurred...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
A quick update..well im feeling somewhat better today, the depression is slowly lifting, i didnt have any anxiety attacks last night (
)..nearly did but i managed to talk myself out of it which was good.
I went to boxing training last night and really enjoyed it. Spent the whole time doing one on one training too as the coach wanted to keep an eye...
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)..nearly did but i managed to talk myself out of it which was good.
I went to boxing training last night and really enjoyed it. Spent the whole time doing one on one training too as the coach wanted to keep an eye...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
liv:
yep stop smoking helped
tweedle:
okay, well I hope you keep yourself healthy as you can.
yeah man... coffee and cigarettes are VERY bad for panic attacks... I can deal with 1-2 cups of coffee a day, but any more than that and I'm a shaking fool--
cigarettes I quit back last year in January. thank goodness.
and thank you
yeah man... coffee and cigarettes are VERY bad for panic attacks... I can deal with 1-2 cups of coffee a day, but any more than that and I'm a shaking fool--
cigarettes I quit back last year in January. thank goodness.
and thank you
First things first, if you havent already go and leave beautiful comments for this beautiful woman..
Thora
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Thora/albums/site/13382/
Im doing okay, i mentioned id gained weight over the weekend, well its gone again, i just couldnt handle it and have been compulsively exercising
I feel okay, just a bit down and out the last few days. Its my fourth day off pot and im glad,...
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Thora
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Thora/albums/site/13382/
Im doing okay, i mentioned id gained weight over the weekend, well its gone again, i just couldnt handle it and have been compulsively exercising
I feel okay, just a bit down and out the last few days. Its my fourth day off pot and im glad,... Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
liv:
yeah the anxiety its what exactly doesnt make me hesitate at all to dont even have a sip of alcohol... last time i drank i had one of my most worst panic attacks so that keeps me pretty scared of alcohol itself.
Glad u keep out of that
Caffeine..it made me shake so bad...until my doc forbid that as well.....
last time i had a lil' coca cola my heart beat razed like i had tons of coffee...i thought wtf...
i get with pot and caffeine u got ur lil speedballs... thats what i did when i sneaked tons of xanax and i mixed with litters of cocacola.. u are a mix of conditions...and yeee..ain't no good but we tend to keep on even knowing and realizing until we just stop or something...
Glad u keep out of that
Caffeine..it made me shake so bad...until my doc forbid that as well.....
last time i had a lil' coca cola my heart beat razed like i had tons of coffee...i thought wtf...
i get with pot and caffeine u got ur lil speedballs... thats what i did when i sneaked tons of xanax and i mixed with litters of cocacola.. u are a mix of conditions...and yeee..ain't no good
but we tend to keep on even knowing and realizing until we just stop or something...
darkmrfripperton:
Hug, have a great weekend!
Wow ive been absent for a few days havent i !?
I went away for the weekend with my boyfriend, out into the middle of nowhere, surrounded in snow capped mountains and waterfalls, it was beautiful. It was a good time to clear my head a little and do some thinking! Over the weekend i ate somewhat normally, and it was okay, then i got...
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I went away for the weekend with my boyfriend, out into the middle of nowhere, surrounded in snow capped mountains and waterfalls, it was beautiful. It was a good time to clear my head a little and do some thinking! Over the weekend i ate somewhat normally, and it was okay, then i got...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
78walk:
When someone has a weakness, I think the only thing that really works is to stay away from it. In your case, since you're also dealing with an eating disorder, having another issue to try to control just makes it a virtually impossible task. I know that none of it is easy. Some people have to hit rock bottom and come very close to death, some don't manage to stop in time.
I'm extremely hopeful that you will be able to turn things around before it gets to that point. I'll be here whenever I can be of any use.
I'm extremely hopeful that you will be able to turn things around before it gets to that point. I'll be here whenever I can be of any use.
jozsef:
Like he said, I'm always here for you. 
You can never offend me, but I've never starved, so I have to speculate about the effects on cognition. I'll do anything to help you or make you happy, sweetie, never forget that.
You can never offend me, but I've never starved, so I have to speculate about the effects on cognition. I'll do anything to help you or make you happy, sweetie, never forget that. Today has been an interesting day. First i awake get up and smash my elbow on my dresser, fucking hurt like a bitch. I went out to my car to get some clothes out that need some cleaning and i discover a $10 note in a pocket. Lunch time i attempt to carry my bowl of peas and diet coke together, not happening, diet coke...
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jozsef:
I'm well, dear. I sent you some encouragement and support for Wed, since you insist on modeling instead of becoming the next Prime Minister, (or maybe the one after.) Of course, I'm quite convinced you can do both as far as that goes, in addition to becoming a psychologist and media star, but I think you know that.
Have fun, sweetie. Love you!
Have fun, sweetie. Love you!
angeal:
life sucks!
i want a do-over..
hope things i have been well for you..
i want a do-over..
hope things i have been well for you..
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
zafrina:
Ooo I work with young girls with drug addiction and its one of thee best jobs I ever have had. I hope you find one equally as satisifying.
How are things otherwise hun? I hope well. Mwah!
How are things otherwise hun? I hope well. Mwah!
jozsef:
Hey doll, I sent you a PM that's not very long or heavy reading, so I hope you can glance at it today or tomorrow and dispatch a carrier pidgeon with a gum wrapper to signal me that you've seen it. The right leg means it was helpful and the left means it's crap. Or was it the other way around? I'll figure it out later. 
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rylee:
I wish you lived near me
firemansam:
Studying is going badly, so much to do tonight.
How are you feeling today
How are you feeling today
I feel disgusting tonight, i had a semi bigger dinner meal than usual. Its the only meal i eat all day. I have tried adding more protein into my intake, beans,kidney,lima and the such. Not even a fifty calories worth in my dinner and i feel bad. I hate this feeling, that need to exercise, that anxiety that the food is going to make me...
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VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
firemansam:
Look after yourself babe
jozsef:
We must have faith in our canine companions' intelligence, mustn't we! It just occured to me that we can only train animals with rewards. They can't comprehend punishment and it just makes them paranoid and messes them up really badly. How did people ever decide that we were any different? I don't mean to turn a joke into something serious but it's such a dreadful, and nearly universal misconception. We should just ban parents or at least make them get diplomas before certain, um, things are unlocked.
I'm pleased to see that picture is sharp enough to blow up!
I'm pleased to see that picture is sharp enough to blow up!
Wow, work has been utter madness today. But mildly entertaining. An art teacher who works out at the gym started bitching to me that she was going to change gyms because she couldnt get rid of her "stomach". She said the machines here were useless, and went on for about 5 minutes, oh it was lovely,i sat at my desk with a wee smirk on...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
darkmrfripperton:
Hug, sorry winter is coming for you. Stay warm!
hamdiesel:
Yeah well then we could be lesbians for the night and we could play a little game where we just meet and then go back to your place and let our courosity take course!! Hehe MUAH
Everyone should go to this link and vote for me..
http://www.inkedmag.com/promotions/inkedgirl/gallery/
Thatd be totally saweet !
In other news, ive been a bit stressed, ive lost more weight, about 1.5kgs in the last week.I feel terrible, ive been lying to my boyfriend, telling him ive in fact gained weight. I have definately cut back on my exercising, but obviously thats not enough, i thought id...
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http://www.inkedmag.com/promotions/inkedgirl/gallery/
Thatd be totally saweet !
In other news, ive been a bit stressed, ive lost more weight, about 1.5kgs in the last week.I feel terrible, ive been lying to my boyfriend, telling him ive in fact gained weight. I have definately cut back on my exercising, but obviously thats not enough, i thought id...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
limowreck:
Haha, you would like me to do that, wouldn't you?
thora:
I don't know, the thought of it just makes me feel...free. No way to explain it. I have attempted suicide and felt that way even then.
2-12=Feb. 12 - that's how we abbreviate the date in the States. Anyway, the doctor told me to go to the emergency room and I didn't.
And...maybe I shouldn't have written it in a blog. I feel kind of silly. My anxiety meds made me open up a bit too much. I'll be fine. Maybe I will get treatment soon, who knows. My insurance doesn't cover certain, ahem, things, but the doc is willing to say it's for something else, something it does cover.
For the purely cardiac issues I can go to the ER with the insurance I have, and a few clinics may take it. It's crazy how that works. Sicko, indeed.
I love you, too, and I don't want you to worry about me, please, please, please.
Now that some backup cat people have replied I'm going to revise the blog and delete all comments (after pasting them to a doc. for reference and safe keeping).
2-12=Feb. 12 - that's how we abbreviate the date in the States. Anyway, the doctor told me to go to the emergency room and I didn't.
And...maybe I shouldn't have written it in a blog. I feel kind of silly. My anxiety meds made me open up a bit too much.
I'll be fine. Maybe I will get treatment soon, who knows. My insurance doesn't cover certain, ahem, things, but the doc is willing to say it's for something else, something it does cover. For the purely cardiac issues I can go to the ER with the insurance I have, and a few clinics may take it. It's crazy how that works. Sicko, indeed.
I love you, too, and I don't want you to worry about me, please, please, please.
Now that some backup cat people have replied I'm going to revise the blog and delete all comments (after pasting them to a doc. for reference and safe keeping).
anyways how are things with you lately? i hope wel.. because hearing you in the hospital is so not cool..
good luck with everything V.. you probably didnt need to hear that form me as i know youll get through all this..
p.s. i didnt know you boxed.. thats totally badass.. if you ever need a towel boy im here for ya..