ohmygil

I'm disappointed that there seems to be no Suicide Girl with the name "Murder"

Murder Suicide would be a great name.

Also: Hi all. My life seems to be spiraling out of control but I thought I'd check in.

I joined a gym last week.

I'm taking it seriously too. I've gone nearly every day since then (with the exception of Tuesday and today, my "rest days") and even though I haven't seen any progress yet (but really, who would? It's been A WEEK), I'm really happy with myself for getting off my ass and doing something about something for once.

i even started...
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I just saw a screencap of a porno video and the first thing I thought was "oh noooooo. ohhhhh noooooooo milk shouldn't go in thereeeeeee!"

I had to share somewhere.

I've been put in a situation that's lose/lose for me.

Either A) I hate myself for missing a huge opportunity or B) I'm an asshole for possibly getting a job someone else wants.

Sigh.

"You'd be cute if you lost weight."

How does anyone think this would make anyone feel better?

God, I was feeling good lately too.

Last night, on Tumblr, I learned that a friend of a friend who I was friendLY with unfollowed me. It didn't really bother me, sometimes interests just don't mesh and you move on, that's fine. But what followed kind of annoyed the crap out of me.

So the person in question made a post that said she would not follow NSFW Tumblrs. I feel like...
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I find people as a whole very frustrating.

There are persons I love.

But people suck.

It's too stressful to keep in contact with people when they appoint me "relationship manager." Like, it's usually me who has to keep up with everyone or the friendship peters off and dies. There are a select few to whom this does not apply, but by and large, it's...
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"Your vagina wouldn't be kosher anymore because I'd go ham on it."

These are things I make up.

...no wonder I'm single.

How am I like a mushroom?

I'm a fun guy!

(Right? Right? RIGHT?!)

Happy New Year!

Hey, I will be in the LA-Area later this month! If anyone wants to meet up with a large socially awkward gentleman, hit me upppp