lolablu

I went back to the dojang on Tuesday but was very, very limited in what I was able to do. I wanted to go back tonight and tomorrow night, but now I'm thinking I should only go one of those days. So frustrated by this injury.

And the "holy shit!" aspect arrives: if I'm moving to Japan in a year, I need to start planning NOW.

I'm moving to Japan in about a year. It's a good career and financial decision that I had been contemplating for a while, and now H-- asked me if I would want to go to where he is. I said yes.

I have so much on my mind and need to talk to someone, yet, ironically, I don't feel like talking. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow. I'm at least a little comforted knowing that I have some amazing people in my life who will listen when I'm ready.

It's just sinking in for me how difficult things will be for the next year if I decide to be with H--. I mean, things will be really, really difficult. For both of us. What will be the amount of time over the course of that year that I actually see him? Probably two weeks maximum. How will my family react if I choose to...
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My knee is getting better way too slowly. I wanted to go back to training later this week, but I'm not sure that's feasible. It would probably help if I stopped walking around so much. I can walk pretty well, but it's about the only thing I can do. It's making me insane not to be able to train like I'm used to, so I'm...
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I'm pretty sure my ex and I are falling in love with each other again, only this time without the major hindrances. But it still won't be easy...

I'm finishing War and Peace, and I just read: "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, the possibility of life is destroyed." How true in love.

My knee is sprained for sure. After Friday's MRI, we'll see if the meniscus is torn.

I hate this.

Well. let's start with the badness, about which I think I'll be briefer. Yesterday when I was sparring, my leg got trapped and twisted, I heard a pop, and I was down. I'm in pain and limping. It isn't terrible, but it's such that I know I can't go to the gym tomorrow. I don't know if I can train Tuesday. I don't even know...
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What's a movie you could watch again and again? For me: The Seventh Seal. I love the medievalism, the symbolism, the visuals, the acting, the morbidity, the intelligence...

I'm talking with H-- on Skype this Sunday. It will be the first time we talk in two years.

As improbable and difficult as it would be, what with its requiring someone, most likely myself, to move to a different country, I want to be with him again.

Yup. Still have the stuffed animal H-- gave me two years ago.

We're going to talk on Skype soon. H-- and I, not the stuffed animal and I.