Every year, I cringe when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, then, remembering that I am a heathen pariah, corrects himself to "Happy Holidays" or worse "Happy Chanuka." I always tell them, "It's okay! You can say, 'Merry Christmas!' It doesn't hurt anyone!" The game of semantics that is always played around this time of year has sickened me for a long time, especially since...
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Attention, fans of my serialized monologue Sydney T. Bernstein's One-Man Show and One-Man Tell and people who want to become fans and people who have never heard of it but think I'm funny sometimes - this Wednesday, at The Jenny Vaudeville Show (10 PM at Pete's Candy Store (709 Lorimer Street in Williamsburg)), I will be doing The Sydney T. Bernstein's One-Man Show and One-Man...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
calamity:
this pink DID take my aa's! 
oh well, a small price to pay.... 
♥jess.
oh well, a small price to pay....
♥jess.
amperes:
teehee! sucka!!! ::points and laughs::
im jokin ::hug::
im jokin ::hug::
Have you ever met someone and it was like walking into a movie in the middle - you don't know what's going on or who the characters are - but you pick up enough here and there to get by, and then you get really caught up in it and emotionally invested in the story, but the next time you see her, it's like someone...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
calamity:
haha. no problem.
it looks like i'm naked, but i'm nooootttttt.
♥jess.
edited to say:
i have mixed feelings about mistletoe.
i think i'd only be 100% for it if i had a head band with a sprig of mistletoe on it, that way i could choose my mistletoe-ing partners. hah.
[Edited on Dec 05, 2005 11:41PM]
it looks like i'm naked, but i'm nooootttttt.
♥jess.
edited to say:
i have mixed feelings about mistletoe.
i think i'd only be 100% for it if i had a head band with a sprig of mistletoe on it, that way i could choose my mistletoe-ing partners. hah.
[Edited on Dec 05, 2005 11:41PM]
kingsnake:
mistletoe? wow, here I thought that was an Indiana thing where we would use that to get girls pregnant. But it seems out here on the east coast nobody knows that kissing girls = how babies come about.
"A generation as unique as this needs a new generation of financial planning."
- Advertisement in the subway
I know that many, many people have said this before, but the situation makes me sad, so I thought I would throw my own two cents in.
I like the word unique, but I fear that it may no longer mean anything at all. Common usage may...
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- Advertisement in the subway
I know that many, many people have said this before, but the situation makes me sad, so I thought I would throw my own two cents in.
I like the word unique, but I fear that it may no longer mean anything at all. Common usage may...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stella_marie:
thats why you have to make words up. this way, only you can use them. would you use the bat phone to order a pizza????
amperes:
i dont have much to say to your journal entry since i dont really know whats going on....but this is my notice to let you know that i found you and now i shall commence stalkin you on SG...and karaokee was fun. we ought to hang out again sometime 
...So I went out dancing...
...I met a girl who looked like a miniature version of my friend Kat. She had the same mannerisms and everything. It was as if someone accidentally left Kat in his pocket and she went through the wash and shrank...
...She said they wouldn't let her into the Marines because her knees bent the wrong way. I said, "That's...
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...I met a girl who looked like a miniature version of my friend Kat. She had the same mannerisms and everything. It was as if someone accidentally left Kat in his pocket and she went through the wash and shrank...
...She said they wouldn't let her into the Marines because her knees bent the wrong way. I said, "That's...
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iggy:
oh man i saw that guy...yeah that was a lot of metal....
it was great dancing with you hon!! We need to chill more often!!
it was great dancing with you hon!! We need to chill more often!!
My diary is on the hard drive of my old computer. I have to check if the hard drive is still salvagable, but regardless, it means that the only record of this month was my one online journal entry, and I didn't really write anything important in it.
Good.
I want to start writing again in case anyone wants to read anything I have to...
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Good.
I want to start writing again in case anyone wants to read anything I have to...
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Thoughts from after last night's Jenny Vaudeville show:
Item 1:
It seems to me that the belief that humans and apes share a common ancestor is as much a matter of faith as is the belief in intelligent design. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that evolution isn't real. "Evolution" is a vague term that describes a very basic concept - the change...
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Item 1:
It seems to me that the belief that humans and apes share a common ancestor is as much a matter of faith as is the belief in intelligent design. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that evolution isn't real. "Evolution" is a vague term that describes a very basic concept - the change...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
illstabyou:
You lie like a rug -- I thought your screenname was Sid (or Syd). Either way great chatting with you last night!
southernbelle:
Wow...that's very deep!!!
I've been tagged!
At first I was distressed by this, but I realize that this will help the scientists track my migration patterns.
Anyway, if you haven't seen this thing, how it works is someone names you in a journal and then you have to write twenty facts about yourself. These facts being interesting is entirely optional.
1. Right now, not having started thinking of...
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At first I was distressed by this, but I realize that this will help the scientists track my migration patterns.
Anyway, if you haven't seen this thing, how it works is someone names you in a journal and then you have to write twenty facts about yourself. These facts being interesting is entirely optional.
1. Right now, not having started thinking of...
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freyja__:
isn't self-reference the point of "20 things you didn't know about me"?
"I didn't know what physics majors did after college, and, as I found out years later, neither did anyone else. My first warning sign was when I told people I was studying physics and they would ask me, 'What do you want to do with that?' I would usually stare at them blankly until they either burst out sobbing uncontrollably or nervously offered, 'Do you...
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stella_marie:
You have been tagged. Please give us 15-20 little known facts about yourself. if you dont, ill be forced to kick your ass.
jenisfamous:
Show and tell quote! I saw it once, I can read it again!
So you may be wondering where I've been this past week. Well, I lost my computer to an act of God. It's now downloading pornography to St. Peter's desktop. I know you were all worried, or at least most of you were. Then there were some of you who are thinking, "You've gone days without being online before. Why should we have been concerned this...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hunter:
that sucks about your computer! I think that I would die if that happened to me.
jenisfamous:
Sadness!
Please do not extract your heart and stomp upon it at show and tell. I would cry.
Please do not extract your heart and stomp upon it at show and tell. I would cry.
Sunday I was at the gym and they had on the CBS Sunday Morning show. The closing commentary / opinion was from my hero, the brilliant Ben Stein:
Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:
I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.
Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.
Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to"
Amen!