amorpheus

I dreamt that I went back in time to the Cretaceous. Naturally, it was full of tourists from even further in the future. I joined up with a tour group that reeked of velociraptor repellent. We had lunch in a McDonald's, where I was surprised to find the menu was the same as it was back home.

"What are these 'chicken' mcnuggets made of?" I...
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GET A GRIP, INTERNET!
There isn't a new astrological sign. Parke Kunkle is not an astrologer, nor is he a historian or sociologist or psychologist. He wasn't trying to establish a new astrology, he was just joking about how stupid he thinks astrology is and he did it in a profoundly stupid way. Actually, he doesn't know what he was talking about, either. Astrology has...
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In The Weekly Standard's cover article, "Palin's Populist Pedigree," Sarah Palin is compared to Andrew Jackson and Ronald Reagan. The comparison is undeniably apt, but the article's writer Matthew Continetti inexplicably paints this as a good thing. Here, "populist" is used as a euphemism for "unbelievably stupid," but if you couldn't figure that out on your own, then you're probably a bit populist yourself.

I think that when George Herbert said, "Living well is the best revenge," he hadn't fully considered sleeping with his ex's friends, which is also a very good revenge.

When articulating her exact stance on abortion, a friend of mine said it was like her stance on self-mutilation - it's wrong, but we can't make that decision for anyone else.

I think that misses the point. After all, the pro-life stance is not so much like saying people shouldn't be allowed to cut themselves as saying that doctors should not be allowed to perform...
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The Republican Party is America's abusive boyfriend. They love America so much, and they swear that if we give them another chance, they'll really change this time.

I have noticed that, without enough actually wrong with Barack Obama, some people are spreading obviously unfounded rumours about him. For instance, due to his Arab-sounding name, people are saying that he is actually a Muslim. Others say he is receiving moral guidance from his former pastor, Rev. Wright, who is a radical leftist. Apparently, the people who believe these rumours cannot make the connection...
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Lately, I have been watching "The Addams Family" and reading "The Fantastic Four." I have noticed some startling similarities between the two:

- They were both comics that were made into television shows, then movies, then television shows again at various times.

- They were both popular in the 1960's.

- They both centered around an unusual family.

- They both became famous for their...
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So I sent Katie John Donne's "Valediction Forbidding Mourning." I know I haven't known her long, and I was afraid it might seem like I was coming on a bit strong, but I don't read very much aloof poetry. I checked, and William Butler Yeats never wrote one called "I Think You're Kind of Neat."

Death isn't the end of the world.

It is common knowledge that when dirt napping, little things eat your body. Sometimes big things eat parts of it first. The mask that you have made of flesh and skin is...
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They say it's like a shark. You know, sharks are always swimming. Of course, they are underwater, so it's logical for them to do that. The only time they stop, though, is to die. They say it's like that. Once you stop moving, you don't start again. You're already dead.

Is that what death really is?

If you can still muster the energy to draw...
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The other day, I was out starting some wars when I decided to pick up a paper and see what was going on with some of my favourite celebrities.

"Oh crap!" I thought, "Mel Gibson is onto me!"