alleycake

don't ever stop doubting or questioning. that's the only way you'll figure out if you have made the so called right decisions. And right abviously depends on how you define it. Soooo, how you know is by continuing to ask yourself if this is what you want and if this is where you want to be and how you want to feel, etc. Doubt is good. Then its nice to think about not selling yourself short. Could you be happier? Could you be doign something different, making a different decision, changing something small or large in your life to make yourself better or happier. It may take becoming less happy, uh-oh, maybe even sad or miserable before getting happier, but that's just how it works sometimes. Maybe I'm misunderstanding you, but one of the best ways to determine the future is from things that happened in the past. Now you can't say for certain every time, but the past helps. You shouldn't regret things you've done in the past, but learn from them and then use those things to help you determine what you are going to do in the future. Maybe you made a bad decision, try not to regret it, learn from it and either don't make the same mistake or change it slightly so it's better this time around. It's tough talking in generalities, but that's what you did so, pft. I don't know, but sometimes I get the feeling from what you write, that you are sometimes complacent in whatever you are doing and whatever you are generally/vaguely talking about and although you think you are kinda happy, you are afraid to change anything b/c (and this is my extraction) you're afraid of being unhappy until you can be happy again and unwilling to take a risk or risks. Just what a plumfairy takes from it, so that doesn't really mean much anyway. OK, so to sum up, keep questioning yourself and what you want. Don't be complacent and change things according to what you learned from past mistakes. yay!

So something I regret is not looking at a map before I went up to estes park this weekend. fort collins is between aurora and there and I could have met up with you for lunch or something in the evening after the scottish games. I'm sorry. It's actually not very far, so let me know if you want to hang out. I've never been to Boondocks and someone told me its fun. Eh. Take care.

Oh, don't get me wrong. Second guessing is all good. I do it all the time and sometimes it makes me very depressed. But if I stop questioning myself, what more am I than an automaton that carries out a program that I have given myself a long time ago, or worse, that has been given to me by other people? I'm just saying that it's often not as simple as right or wrong.

you should go see comedian josh blue instead....laughter is great for the soul and wont hurt your ears...LOL. he's from denver, if you havent seen him before. won last comic standing on tv a few weeks back. very funny guy.

i saw demetri on comedy central. i loved him. i really loved when he brought the huge pad out and did jokes to the drawings on it. like the i can't believe it's not butter thing and all the other things with the doodad and the BWOOP.

Hmm -

lets see...
Read tuesdays with morrie, good stuff, its more than about an old jewish man...
Rats are growing up. Blech.
Got nothing to say to my parents or lifelong friends... feck em.
Havnt made any new friends since panda... cause they suck, but hes neat.
Growing up sucks, but at least I got my boyfriend.... at least for now.

or something like that... soooo many words.

Maybe it's cause you're afraid they might tell you something you already know, but are afraid to admit it. What ever "that" may be, i havne't the slightest idea.
I'm not sure if that made any sense at all.

yay for drinking and blogging. sorry about the biting and stuff. you're right, they'll come around soon enough, just need time. Sounds like you're doing a good job with them. I just got my tongue pierced. take care

Aww thanks, yeah things are going good at work and....are complicated with her..... not us... we are still in love just everything else... /shrug things will work out : ), how are you and your boy, all good i hope? And as for my knee..... I have no idea.. it killed for like 2 weeks for no reason then went away.....it still bothers me a bit when squat down but thats it.

You say that as if it were bad thing.

congrats! Try feeding them scrambled eggs by hand...that should warm them up to ya!

hey yeah good to hear it's not sucking... and lots off hottiesl always helps

i'm still investigating my options... it's pretty scary!! ha but i'm sure i can do anything, so i should be fine..... ??

wow! I'm really sorry. You're right on when you said I don't like making fun of people. I get weird a little when people do that. Bad thing about journal entries and text like this is that we can't get more info immediately like in a conversation. So again, I'm sorry. I just responded to what you wrote. I like talking with you over this and felt a need to respond for some stupid reason. I think you're really nice and cool and the entry caught me off guard I guess. I totally didn't mean what you think about the ipod and friends thing. I just had a hard time making friends in college and regret a little all the opportunities I missed to make new friends. I had plenty of friends, but could have met and expanded my social horizens if I had put the effort out. Again, sorry I offened you. Didn't mean it. At the end of my last comment I was going to let you know that I wasn't being mad or mean. It sucks you can't color code text for emotion.

Oh and again, I really enjoy when we talk back and forth on SG. I hope I didn't mess things up. Take care.

I taught Mathematics and Computer Science to college graduates and undergraduates.

PS: I find the next part of the story pretty hard to write. I have trashed two versions so far, but I think the third one is finally coming along well. Just bear with me for a little longer.

you goto a place known for its kodak moments and forget your camera??? shame on you!!! LOL glad you had a somewhat good time though.

right now i work at a grocery store stocking shelves, it's not much but it can be real fun so it's kinda worth it. and that's pretty much all i do besides getting online. i pretty much spend all my free time going online or watching tv because i don't really have anything else to do. but i get to talk to some great people online though.

I think you are right. She wouldn't dare to assume she knew what he wanted. Good point!

Okay, I guess I've got a new beginning, at least in my head. Maybe I'll start writing a little later today.

i really really hope your 21st is better than mine, cause mine was my worst birthday to date, the way it seemed to me it was pretty much the begging of the road to losing the first girl i've ever loved :-(. so i say go out and get hammered it's what i should have done ;x

i keep getting netflix addressed to you.

I swear by Netflix. They sometimes make mistake, but they never gave me any trouble. I got a DVD twice once. Or even three times. So I sent one copy back and got another DVD from my queue, so now I had one more than I was supposed to have. At some point they figured it out and I was back to my usual three at a time. But they never gave me any shit for it, like I would expect almost any other company to do. Amazon to, always worked like a charme.

Oh, and those telephone-purgatories are the reason I prefer to do things online. And people who mumble on the phone. I've always had trouble understanding people who didn't speak clearly, or too fast, and if it's in a language I haven't grown up listening to it's of course much worse.

I hope you'll get your AC soon and that your local Netflix people get their act together.

Just cause I am semi-disconnected emotionally doesn't mean I don't care. Also, there are policies in place to prevent that type of gross misconduct. Every call regardless of seriousness will have an officer come out. So really nothing would be ignored. That makes easy for a dispatcher that doesnt give a rats ass to have a job there

who is the cute puppy in the parka?

you need to come down to denver every once in a while. either that or invite some people up to fort collins periodically. We'll find something fun to do. either that or we'll create it.

hey hope you're still fellin better..
and maybe you could see your movies this weekend..
what have you got planned?

You better respond to this... or else!

Food=good
good=happy
happy=food

Life goes on