Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

Well, it's been 8 days since I went back to work, and it only took about half that long to make Yours Truly remember how much he needs a change. On many, many levels. There's been a lot of frustration. Financially, sexually, whathaveyou. Sorting it out and solving it is going to be interesting.

You'd think I'd learn to stop shelling out $6.50 daily for cigarettes. Yeah, MA sucks like that. But I also like not risking a nic-fitting psychotic episode. You understand the dichotomy.

If I do nothing else, there's really the part of me that wants to get my apartment clean, say FUCK the "No Pets" policy the complex has, and give a lonely shelter kitty a good home. What can I say? it'd be nice to have someone waiting @home who's happy to see me.

For those of you wondering, the friend argument I touched upon in my last entry sorted itself out. Apologies on both sides were made, and she and I realized that, despite how much we ♥ each other, our friendship can be rather volatile @times. So that's one less thing.

It's time for YouTube-y goodness!









One of these things is not like the others...One of these things just doesn't belong...

Finding a way to go from spiders to Jazz is a link only I could make. And that's why you ♥ me.

You know what? I feel like it's been far too long since I've had my brain picked.

So, I put it to you, Gentle Reader. Ask me a question. Silly, serious, something you may want to know about me. I feel the need...the need for speed weed answering random questions.

...waitaminit, I still have the need for weed. But that's another entry.

That's all for now, kids. As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

For those of you wondering, I continue to rest a little more each day, but that's coming to an end. I go back to work Monday afternoon. While I'm rather bummed to do so, I'm also kinda looking forward to it.

"Why," you ask? Well, Gentle Reader, it's mostly because my time on this here Interweb has been the majority of the social contact I've had during my convalescence. My time outside in the fresh air (aside from going to the store for food or nicotine) has been limited. So, one tends to start craving more personal interaction. Plus, some distraction from some personal stress couldn't hurt (more on that later).

How did I spend my final weekend, you ask? Well, on the positive end, I had a visit last night from a couple friends (a co-worker who's been away on a personal leave, and a former co-worker who recently left ole' VZ) and our time was spent imbibing beer, smoking pot, and watching both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Good times had by all.

Today was spent on an extended leave from my humble abode to hang out w/another good friend, who, after learning I'd never seen Hellboy (and resisting the urge to dome-slap me for this transgression) sat me down, popped in the DVD, then went out and saw Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Both decent bits of cinematic fare, I must say.

Also, a quick trip to Dick's Sporting Goods to make a little purchase for myself, one to hopefully start using after I heal up fully...



That's right, kids. Your Humble Narrator, lover of monkeys, gory movies, weird music, and general perversion...is a lover of golf. I can actually stand to watch it on TV (I'm in a minority, I know), and I hope to start building my skills so I may enjoy a little R&R on the links every now and then.

Plus, I don't care what anyone says...as far as I'm concerned, this is fashionable as fuck.



For a little more YouTube-y goodness, we go back to the subject of golf, from the mind of one Robin Williams:



Now, before I end this entry, I feel the need to ask you kids for a little advice concerning the aforementioned personal stress, in the form of a question or three...

What do you do when you get into an angry and irrational fight w/a close friend near and dear to your heart? When you have hurt feelings on both sides, do you find it hard to just walk away and let things cool over, because you want nothing more than to make things better? Because that is how I've been feeling these past few days, kids, and I'm kind of @a loss as to what's going on or what's best for me to do. But I said to myself, "Self, those guys and gals seem like a rather smart lot, nothing wrong w/asking them for an opinion or two to nudge you towards self-realization." So, here I sit. What are your thoughts?

Can you tell I've been a little far between counselor appointments?

That's all for now, kids. Someday I'll learn again how to actually keep up w/blog commenting. I swear, this is becoming a process. A little spring cleaning of the ole' Friends and Bookmarked Lists may soon be in order. I'll let you know when this becomes the case.

As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's a quick update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

First off, still hanging in there, still recuperating @home. I get to start going through all the follow-ups, as well as all the disability claim crap. FUN!

...or something.

Getting to be a little stressful, especially where I've been getting cabin fever like a mofo. Wouldn't mind a little couchside company from a ladyfriend @this point. Gets awful lonely nursing a hernia surgery after a while. Any takers?

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive, just been (really) bad about blog commenting. Probably have 5 pages worth of blogs @this point. Ah, well. It's not like I don't have the free time, eh?

Your YouTube-y goodness for this entry...it's time to travel back in, uh, time to the glory days of movie buffs everywhere...blaxploitation cinema!







OK, so the last one isn't a trailer, but I don't care who you are, there's no way you can't find the song groovy as fuck.

That's all for now, kids. As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids. Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak...is home, and in quite a bit of discomfort.

I don't even want to talk about the catheter they had to insert while I was under, due to whatever dumbass is responsible for not telling me to empty my bladder before I went under. The aftermath hurt, goddammit!

That's all for now. Just wanted to let you know I made it out A-OK.

Thanks for your well-wishes. Feel free to leave more. I'm a whore like that.

As always, I hope you are all well as, uh, well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

Well, isn't life funny?

First off, for those of you wondering, the stuff I talked about previous has sorted itself out for the better. Not only that, I've had some civil and even friendly(!!!) conversations w/the ex @work this past week or so.

So, things are looking up for Your Humble Narrator, right?

...right?

Well, kids, I can answer that question w/another question.

Which one of you knows what an inguinal hernia is?



(Freak Note: I was planning on posting "Living With a Hernia," but due to the douchebaggery of Sony/BMG, any and all copies of the video I've seen on YouTube are unembeddable. Facists. )



^That^ is basically what is wrong w/me, same side and everything. Not so great, actually.

I've suffered from a groin strain for several years now, but it's only in the past few months that things have gotten complicated. Since I noticed a distinct amount of pain when I was on my feet for hours @a stretch, as well as visible protrusion (the morbid part of me still finds it hilarious), I figured it was high time I get it taken care of, before my bowels decide to create havoc on my crotchal region.

Now, since I'm a spry young fellow, I will be having a laproscopic surgery as opposed to "open" surgery. Not sure as of yet how long I'll be out of work (though I have my pre-test this afternoon), but all I know is this:

1. I'm not leaving that hospital w/o a scrip for some good meds.

2. I plan on spending a few days laying on my couch, nude as the day I was born, doped up to kingdom come. playing video games. Because I will probably not be doing much moving around.

My surgery is Monday morning. Trying not to psyche myself out too much, as it's a relatively minor procedure, but it's still the most I've had done, and I've also never been put under. I will do my best to update you guys as soon as I get home, but don't be surprised if the new blog has nothing more than statements like, "Satan eats your souls like puff pastries in the magical rainbow jungle," because, well, I'll probably be goofy as hell. Just...be understanding.

That's all for now, kids. A lot of blog commenting awaits, but before I go...



A personal hero and one funny motherfucker. You will be missed.







As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

How am I, I hear you say? Well, funny you should ask that...



That's right, Gentle Reader. You may want to go get a snack, use the potty, and say goodbye to your loved ones, because this entry's going to be a long one. We're going to be delving into some personal happenings as of late, as well as Your Humble Narrator basically baring himself (not in that way, sorry ) for all of you to see (and possibly mock). Why? Fuck it, that's why. It's high time I start remembering who I am and what I stand for. Brutal honesty is the name of the game. Are my arguments valid? Do I have a case of head-up-the-ass? We shall see, won't we, kids?

Now, for those of you that have playing the home game, a few weeks ago I basically got into it w/my ex and I got tired of her shit. So, I stood up for myself and called her out on it. And everything went PFFT from there. She went crying to her brother, who proceeded to then call Yours Truly in a rather threatening manner, almost to the point of me calling the cops on him. But, after a couple days, I decided it was high time I just walk away, because it wasn't worth my time and heartache anymore. If only it were that easy...

Ever have to work w/an ex? Yeeeeaaaahhh, that's my situation. Not the most fun, but lately, I've been getting by w/minimal impact. And this is a good thing

The key to that experience is this (we'll be getting back to it later)...

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people who have hurt me would rather dump all the blame on me instead of taking any responsibility for their own actions. Last I knew, friendship is supposed to be a two-way street.



Fast forward to more recently...

I recently got into it w/a close friend of mine, who, due to life changes on their own end, I've not spoken to nearly as much lately. Long story short (aside from other issues I'm not getting into) they basically ripped me a new one, saying I "apparently" continue to ignore their advice, and they're sick of me always stressing out over the situation, because, you know, everyone's coping skills are just stellar (more on that later).

Then, to kick a Freak while he's down, the coup de grace...they basically threw all the ex shit right back in my face, and insinuated that because I have had a harder time of letting go than they'd like, I've no one to blame but myself.

That's right...I was pretty much forced to revisit all that shit in my head, revisit my biggest pet peeve, and realize this person is pretty much pulling the same shit as my ex. Dumping all the blame on me.



Now...did I miss a goddamn memo? When did friendship become fair-weather?

Granted, I am far from perfect, kids. Do I have self-confidence issues? You bet. Stress? Plenty. Do I often think "worst-case scenario?" in a situation? It's a pain in the ass. Can I be stubborn as a mule? Well, I am my mother's child (it seems we're more alike that I'd like to admit, but that's another story). Feelings of jealousy? Don't we all? Can these things make me hard to get along w/? When even I get sick of me sometimes, that's not a good sign.

Do I know how to fix all this shit? Not in one fell swoop, I don't, or I'm just too fucking impatient.

HOWEVER...

Like I said, I'm not perfect. No one is. I've made many a mistake in my 26 years on this planet, but I'd like to think I'm a good enough person to A. Apologize for them, and B. Try to resolve them. Also, the fact I'm basically throwing out many of my self-recognized faults on the Interweb for any random person to point and laugh @obviously shows I'm serious about pointing out who I am and taking care of this shit.

But, enough is enough.

You know, call me old-fashioned, but when an ex I considered nearest and dearest to me and spent 3 years of my life in a relationship (whether as lovers or a couple) basically betrays my trust, betrays my friendship and shits on it all, yeah, you better believe I have a fucking problem w/that. One that's not exactly easily fixed. So yeah, as much as I can walk away, there's going to be days where I'm still upset. What a concept! And you know, sorry if that means I feel the need to get things off my chest instead of letting them fester. And (SHOCK AND HORROR!) sometimes that means confiding in a friend. But, you know, apparently that becomes little more than an inconvenience to some people.

And I wonder why I keep things quiet in the first place.

Now...am I wrong? Should I just get over myself? I've been told that, but also, they're my thoughts and feelings, and they shouldn't have to feel invalid because of what other people think. How I handle them is another matter, and a matter I still struggle w/to this day.



(hat tip to TheInfamousMrV for bringing this one to my attention)

Now, you may have noticed a slight pattern in my YouTube-y Goodness thus far in this blog. It pretty much boils down to this:

I'm sick and tired of being tossed aside or pushed around.

I'm sick and tired of second-guessing myself.

I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm beneath people (and believing it).

Most of all, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I've gotten to the point that I don't know who I am or where I fit in this world anymore, there's a problem. And it's time I stand up and say "no more."

So, yeah, Mr. Petty's words stuck to me. I've been having my fare share of...amusing happenings in my life for lack of a better description, another of which can be read about on my other blog (I apologize, as it's another long read, but on a better-constructed and more hilarious level, IMHO).

As I noted in aforementioned blog:

There have been plenty of times I've just wanted to Asshole Up, grow some balls, and knock someone on their ass until they get some common sense into them. Better than the alternative, I would think (i.e. being an emo bitch about things).

Here's the kicker...I just can't bring myself to do it. It's not who I am. As much as self-preservation is an ingrained part of our psyche since the days of Cro-Magnon man, I'd rather be surrounded by loved ones and miserable than alone and happy, if that makes any sense. I'm usually right there when a dear friend is upset or frustrated, no matter how close I may be myself to eating a gun. I'm caring to a fault, I will admit. But it's either that, or not give a shit and look out for Number One. And that's just not who I am.

So, the question remains...how do I find a happy medium? It's something I've yet to figure out. It's a process. A slow process, mind you, but one I'm making headway on, even if it's just a little each day.

It's like a black guy fucking a midget. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of strain, a lot of pain, and it's slow going @first. But eventually, you get there.



That's why I will survive. And I will learn to live my life to the fullest and happiest. All the way to the balls. Because the midget deserved it.

That's all for now, kids. As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

Sadly, I feel like this entry will be nothing but me basically letting you all know I'm still alive. Yes, I've been that boring, pretty much. I'm sure other things may spring to mind. But that's what the Edit button is for, right?

Basically, I've just been keeping on keeping on where the personal stuff is concerned. Some days, good. Others, not so much. But it happens. Had quite the philosophical journey the other night, thanks to polishing off an entire bottle of $7 Pinot Grigio. Self-realizations, blah, blah, blah...lets see where it takes me. Right, kids?

Also, irrational or not, I hate the feeling I'm being brushed aside or blatantly ignored by people in my life. I mean, people have lives to live, and that's great. But it would it kill you to just drop a line once in a while?

Also also, I've not watched basketball since the glory days of the Chicago Bulls, but damn if I'm not pretty damn proud of the Celtics right now.

YouTubey goodness? I feel like going a little old-school(!!!), so, let us have some cheesy '80s pop.







That's all for now, kids. I'm surviving, as always. Don't worry too much about me.

As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

How am I, you ask? Well, here goes...

On a personal note...the friendship w/Heather (aka the ex) is pretty much dead and done right now. Long story short (as I don't feel like getting into details)...I've made my mistakes, I've apologized for them, and I've worked on fixing them. But I'll be damned if I'm always going to be made out to be the asshole who's to blame for everything. I finally stood up for myself and called her out on her own bullshit, and told her point blank that I deserved better than how she was treating me as well as our friendship. And I don't regret it one bit.

I may not be perfect, I may not even be that great, but I know I'm a good person, and that in her place is plenty of other people that truly like me as a person and as a friend. And it's for that reason that I can be proud of myself and walk a little taller.

Now, on a lighter note, as many of you know, this past Wednesday and Thursday I was graced w/a visit by the ever-so-awesome Lindsay and Brendan (better known as connielingus and Bill_The_Cat), who were en route to Canada-Eh, and I offered them a place to crash and hang out. Many pics were taken of the resulting debauchery.

Would you like to see them? Of course you would.

So...here we go!

*whew* Image-laden, was it not?

As for YouTube-y goodness for this episode, I feel the need to pay tribute to a recently-departed comedic genius.







That's all for now, kids. Yet again, I got lazy as hell where blog commenting is concerned, so I'm gonna be spending quite a bit of time doing that. Whoops!

As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

Damn, it's been almost two weeks since I updated! So unlike me.

I figured once it got to the point I wasn't getting new blog comments, it just might be time to update.

What's up w/me, you ask? Well, I had a relaxing day off. Decent weather for the most part. Had another counseling appointment, though I actually had little to talk about. I think it shows how I've been getting better @handling my shit. Still a bit of the lonely bug here and there. But that's expected. Though getting a little here and there has been a blessing as well as a curse. A curse because I now have urges to buy things like nipple clamps, rope and the like off the Interweb.

What can I say? I have the urge to get creative. And disciplinary.

Had plans w/a good friend that fell through. I was bummed, but I understood, as a car breakdown can put a damper on just about anything.

Also, I got this:



I've yet to try it out. Mostly because I'm a little stoned, which = a little unsteady. I'm thinking about working w/it for a couple weeks or so and writing about it. Thoughts?

Also also, because I feel like being Random McRandomy, here's some YouTube-y goodness.







Also x3, I realize, after reading through various past entries, it's been a while since I've posted a blog of Epic Freak Proportions(!!!) Methinks it'll soon be time to remind you kids of just why you stop by every now and then.

Not because of boobs.

Or my talking car.

But because of things like this:



That's all for now, kids. As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM

Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.

As I sit here, eating store brand potato skins (w/just a little margarine and black pepper), I realize how long it's been since I've updated. And I'm rather ashamed. It's not for lack of activity on the site, mind you, it's just been pretty run-of-the-mill as of late. Which isn't a bad thing.

I will say this, however...the weather better make up it's damn mind, because now I've got sinus congestion like a motherfucker.

For you kids that left words of encouragement in my last blog, thanks. Good to know other people recognize my occasional awesomeness as well.

Oh, here's something different...



Damn, what a sexy devil!

That's right, kids! Your Humble Narrator has taken another step into the 21st century and started hisself a Netflix account. Granted, I did it as one of several incentives to work on getting free golf clubs, but what the hell, right? I'm as much a movie geek as the next guy.

What's the very first movie, you ask?



If you make a documentary about video games, there's a damn good chance I'll watch it. I'll be sure to let you all know how I enjoyed it.

That's pretty much it for now, kids. I'll do my best to come up w/a more entertaining entry soon. As always, I hope you are all well.

Stay tuned...

-TM