So I am back?

so it has officially been forever.

i have been so busy and jumping back and forth between internet acsess and such.

i miss you all. if you guys have the uber-trendy--yet still helpful--myspace, please message me. it is much easier for me to get on there than here, and i promise i will write all of you silly cats back. look under the email quasi.sean@gmail.com

yep. the horror awaits.

please find me, those of you who mean so much to me.

kisses.

Oh boy, the sounds.

an envelope containing the last words ever uttered by a diseased emotion stuck knives deep in the hearts of the masses. ugly, of course, the time it took brilliance to shine thru the faded curtains and sheets and to lite a candle for the feelings of yesterday. i have twelve memories and they are all fading fast.

if i died at 12. and here i am now w/only sad songs in my heart.

christ, how the years have aged me faster than i could ever imagine.

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spin spin.

too diet.

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embellished accusations of guilt. ride me. fuck me fast and dissolve. create new poems for new year.

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happy new year to you all. i miss the ones i've grown to love.

hugs and kisses.

sean.

so many stories, not enough endings---

however, you find me at a rare sit down point--sober like the law--where so many changes are happening and stories and the like--

i have been one busy bee w/school. i am currently learning to do all sorts of wonderful things, like awesome braids, updo's, and roller sets. I have come to the conclusion that finger waving is a tool of the devil, and regardless of how kickass it looks, I am so frustrated w/it right now. that being said tho, i will feel like such a badass when i finally get it.

i also let an esthiology student wax my eyebrows. i feel so clean and handsome.

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monday nite, while trying to keep peace between a friend and an angry gang of pseudo-gangsters, i was punched in the ear (Fight-Club style) and the jaw. it was super scary since I am not one who uses my fists for such purposes and i cannot even remember the last time i was in a fight. i didn't punch back and the situation eventually resolved itself when said assholes left the pool hall and i was left w/nothing more than a tiny rip in my ear and a sore-as-all-fuck jaw. i don't understand why people get off on going out and trying to beat people up. it is senseless.

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w/all that out of the way, i have stumbled upon two awesome new roomies. they are much closer to my school so my now 50 mile drive will be reduced to a mere 12 miles. they are super rad and such. the downside is that i will now not have a computer instantly accesable, so my responses to all may take longer. i will most likely be back here at some point on the weekends, so i can say hello to everybody, so please don't delete me, as i am not leaving the site.

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and the greatest fucking awesomely badass funky news ever!?!?!?

i will be spending this christmas cuddled up beside Martini. i haven't had much use for this holiday in the past years as i always ended up working on it due to the fact that i had little to no family in the area and what family i had was working it also. but now i get to actually spend a wonderful long weekend w/my beautiful fiancee and her family and friends. i am uber-fucking excited!!

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everyone have a fun and safe weekend.

<3

byebye.

he likes the winter because it smells like comfort.
the clouds are all around--gray imaginations.

it is october again.
new friends.
new cries.

woe is me!

the school is going well--altho kicking my ass into a state of tired that I haven't felt in yrs. once i relocate--more sleep, study, and new poems. i've made such good friends. my updo's are coming along.

i miss her. always. more than ever.

hopefully she will come soon and i can wrap my arms around her and keep her inside me. her laughter and enthusiasm is just about the greatest sound in the world.

peace for everybody. the wall can only stand for so long.

So much going on...

I started school last Tuesday, and I am super excited. The school appears to be awesome, and I have met me some cool new friends already. I think I'm going to have a really good year there, and I hope it will help me become an awesome stylist.

Unfortunately, with my busy new schedule, I may end up having to postpone the release of my new book. It kind of sucks, but it will give me the opportunity to make sure everything is how I want it, and I don't want to feel rushed. It has taken me a long LONG time to get this far in it, and I want to be happy with what I've done before it is unleashed.

As always, I miss Martini. Distance sucks, but it's all going to work out. I cannot imagine my life without her. Also, she is selling prints of herself, so for all of you who would like to own a photo of a super beautiful girl, I suggest you speed on over to her profile.

Other than that...my roomie comes back on Monday.

laters.

Jack Kerouac's Rules of Spontaneous Prose

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

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I've been writing almost non-stop for the past 08 hours. My hands feel like they've been run over, but it's so worth it to see what it is turning into. I'm still aiming for an Oct. 01 release date.

I'm desperately trying to feel like a genius.

I'm also debating titles. I have decided that the one I've been using is no longer groovy.

okay, back to the words.

byebye.

So....

Toronto was awesome. I can't gush enough about how cool and sweet everyone was, and just how much i am in love with the girl i am going to marry.

For those of you who are new, this is her right here: Martini

I had such a rad time, met more people, had wonderful sex, and enjoyed a few too many Canadian beers.

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I start school in 11 days. I am stoked.

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Due to my roomie going out of town for 10 days starting on the 15th, I will finally be able to lay down the final copy of my novel and ready it for publication. For those of you who are familiar with my work, it is merely a wordy extension of my poetry. However, there is a story, and I think it's pretty decent. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my work....you've probably stopped reading this entry already.

I am aiming for an Oct. 01 date for this thing to be unleashed. I am excited, as I have been working on it in one form or another and rewriting and editing for the past 8 years. I shall keep you guys in the know.

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Happy Weekend to all!

byebye.

I have a new photo.

YAY!

I am sexy shit.

YAY!

I just had sex with Martini Suicide!

YAY!

Real update to come when I return home.

byebye.

LISTS WRITTEN IN DUST.

come now. my shadow. i have decided to disown you. how great.

stop for a second. watching him run. she's touching herself behind the curtain. i hear joy. division in ideas and examples of art.

i have no reason. incoherent.

i'm slimy when i speak and cry.

these are such stupid dates. <-------------1-------5--------9------43------------------------->

i wonder about the desert--from the bird's view it resembles the exit wound of a shotgun blast, with pieces of the desert splattered across the lake. i press my face to the glass and wonder how long it would take for anyone to find themselves in such a place. it is gigantic and i can see blood drip from the shores. jet skis and paddle boats are good company for this assemblage.

god, you are really strange.

your arms are hairy and your snoring disrupts everything. my ears need to explode and i cannot do it. my drink is flat. the air is freezing me alive above the 100 degree bathmat.

breathing in the air from another place in the world. i like the way it tastes.
no body has friends up here. people are still talking to keep themselves from going to sleep.

goddamn.

i'm awake, kind of. i'm losing hours. i'm gaining light. soon i will be dropped into the middle of lights. the light you can see from space. the recognizable. i'm not sure.

this must be the most bizarre plane ride ever.

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kisses.