IPOD
RADIO
look whos back.
i wanted something that reminds me of a better time. the relationship thats meant the most to me for the past 3 years died today and ive been crying for hours.
shortly after i started university 3 years ago i met a girl named noa. i was about to ask her out then but i found out she had a boyfriend so i backed off and settled for being a distant friend. a year later (last november) they broke up, and the next semester we had chemistry together and became better friends. the class was often cancelled and i still remember the path we walked along once when we spent the first extended period of time together, only an hour. i asked her out last febuary but she shot me down, saying she wanted some solo time after getting out of the 2 year relationship she just had (this excuse was a lie (1)(refer to this later)**). we became decent friends over the semester and hung out a few times over the summer when we both went back to toronto. when this semester started, we had 3 classes together, and shes a TA in a lab im taking. for almost all of september she had been almost completely avoiding me, and at the end of the month i approached her about it. she initially said she had just been busy and hadnt noticed, but the next day she caught up to me and told me that over the summer i had somehow been suffacating her, so she had been trying to create distance between us. she also said she wasnt impressed with me not mentioning anything sooner, and just letting things build up (i was somewhat angry when i asked why she had been ignoring me). she said that if i ever have anything on my mind i should just approach her about it immediately. That night i emailed her, telling her that by avoiding me she had convinced me that she wanted to end our friendship, and i had been leaving her alone because i didnt want to annoy her thinking that that was why she had been avoiding me (that i annoy her). i said that it really bothered me because i was still interested in her and id appreciate any form of contact after any of our classes sometimes to know i was wrong. nothing changed in october really, but i had still been able to talk to her if i caught up to her after class. last tuesday we were talking in the library and she mentioned something of a significant other. I talked to her again yesterday and said i wasnt aware that she had been seeing anyone, and she said that it had been going on for almost a year, even before i had asked her out and she rejected me saying she wanted alone time (go back to (1) above). when i approached her at first saying i wanted to talk to her, i was about to ask her about this, but cut myself off. she reminded me that whenever i have something on my mind, to come out with it, so i did. Today i told her there was more i wanted to know (how i had been suffocating her over the summer and why she didnt tell me the truth when i asked her out) but i reminded her that i hated how she never acknowledges me after class. She said i shouldnt care that she never talks to me, that nothing will happen between us, she thinks its creepy of me to wait around for her after class when shes talking to the prof so i can talk to her which i had just done (when she tells me to bring stuff up with her if somethings on my mind), and that this semester shes cut all but a few people she holds close out of her life and wants to spend all her time with those few people, at work, and studying and seemed to be getting really annoyed and rude. i was in the middle of saying that i dont intend to come between her and her boyfriend and that im content with just talking to her sometimes, and its obvious why i care that she ignores me when someone else she knew came up and started talking to us. twice the conversation fell silent and she struck up a new one with that guy and was only talking to him. i was sticking around so i could finish what i was saying once the guy left, but she wouldnt let him. he suggested we go look for the book noa was after and thats when i finally left her alone.
this has taken at least 40 minutes to write and im still crying. im sure we're done and now i just hope she can remember me positively. the worst part is knowing that if she had been honest with me and what behaviors of mine annoy her things would have been different.
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1557730/
paragraph 3 describes when we had chemistry together last year
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1561127/
when i asked her out
point 6, way back when i thought there was only one way to spell her name
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1109582/
not long after we met
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1104473/
point 2. she used to skip a whole lot when i first met her
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1096265/
where it all started
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1078736/
i wanted something that reminds me of a better time. the relationship thats meant the most to me for the past 3 years died today and ive been crying for hours.
shortly after i started university 3 years ago i met a girl named noa. i was about to ask her out then but i found out she had a boyfriend so i backed off and settled for being a distant friend. a year later (last november) they broke up, and the next semester we had chemistry together and became better friends. the class was often cancelled and i still remember the path we walked along once when we spent the first extended period of time together, only an hour. i asked her out last febuary but she shot me down, saying she wanted some solo time after getting out of the 2 year relationship she just had (this excuse was a lie (1)(refer to this later)**). we became decent friends over the semester and hung out a few times over the summer when we both went back to toronto. when this semester started, we had 3 classes together, and shes a TA in a lab im taking. for almost all of september she had been almost completely avoiding me, and at the end of the month i approached her about it. she initially said she had just been busy and hadnt noticed, but the next day she caught up to me and told me that over the summer i had somehow been suffacating her, so she had been trying to create distance between us. she also said she wasnt impressed with me not mentioning anything sooner, and just letting things build up (i was somewhat angry when i asked why she had been ignoring me). she said that if i ever have anything on my mind i should just approach her about it immediately. That night i emailed her, telling her that by avoiding me she had convinced me that she wanted to end our friendship, and i had been leaving her alone because i didnt want to annoy her thinking that that was why she had been avoiding me (that i annoy her). i said that it really bothered me because i was still interested in her and id appreciate any form of contact after any of our classes sometimes to know i was wrong. nothing changed in october really, but i had still been able to talk to her if i caught up to her after class. last tuesday we were talking in the library and she mentioned something of a significant other. I talked to her again yesterday and said i wasnt aware that she had been seeing anyone, and she said that it had been going on for almost a year, even before i had asked her out and she rejected me saying she wanted alone time (go back to (1) above). when i approached her at first saying i wanted to talk to her, i was about to ask her about this, but cut myself off. she reminded me that whenever i have something on my mind, to come out with it, so i did. Today i told her there was more i wanted to know (how i had been suffocating her over the summer and why she didnt tell me the truth when i asked her out) but i reminded her that i hated how she never acknowledges me after class. She said i shouldnt care that she never talks to me, that nothing will happen between us, she thinks its creepy of me to wait around for her after class when shes talking to the prof so i can talk to her which i had just done (when she tells me to bring stuff up with her if somethings on my mind), and that this semester shes cut all but a few people she holds close out of her life and wants to spend all her time with those few people, at work, and studying and seemed to be getting really annoyed and rude. i was in the middle of saying that i dont intend to come between her and her boyfriend and that im content with just talking to her sometimes, and its obvious why i care that she ignores me when someone else she knew came up and started talking to us. twice the conversation fell silent and she struck up a new one with that guy and was only talking to him. i was sticking around so i could finish what i was saying once the guy left, but she wouldnt let him. he suggested we go look for the book noa was after and thats when i finally left her alone.
this has taken at least 40 minutes to write and im still crying. im sure we're done and now i just hope she can remember me positively. the worst part is knowing that if she had been honest with me and what behaviors of mine annoy her things would have been different.
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1557730/
paragraph 3 describes when we had chemistry together last year
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1561127/
when i asked her out
point 6, way back when i thought there was only one way to spell her name
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1109582/
not long after we met
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1104473/
point 2. she used to skip a whole lot when i first met her
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1096265/
where it all started
http://suicidegirls.com/members/pharcyde/1078736/
driving back from sudbury last thursday, these two girls in this one car were following me for over 2 hours (from perry sound to the 403 if anyone knows the area). they were keeping up with me as i was going 160, weaved in and out of lanes to get behind me if i ever passed too many cars, if anyone came between us, theyd jump back in front of them, and once they ended up in front of me so they changed lanes and slowed down then jumped back behind me. they made it so apparent that they wanted to be on my ass. i convinced myself they were doing it because they thought i was cute. a few minutes after i noticed they were following me, we were in different lanes and the car infront of me slowed down so i did too and the girls pulled up beside me. we were going around a bend though so i had to keep my eye on the road and couldnt tell if they were checking me out.
family values on july 24 then marilyn manson on aug 10. im damn excited.
:excited
family values on july 24 then marilyn manson on aug 10. im damn excited.
:excited
originally
psych assignment - due last monday, still havnt started
biology final - thursday
psych midterm - thursday
calculas midterm - friday
but since i rock
psych assignment - due next week
psych midterm - monday
i feel so, fucking, relieved.
psych assignment - due last monday, still havnt started
biology final - thursday
psych midterm - thursday
calculas midterm - friday
but since i rock
psych assignment - due next week
psych midterm - monday
i feel so, fucking, relieved.
- i finally got paid. now my debt is under $1500.
- i need to get back to sudbury and find a place to live next semester. thank god greyhound is back up.
- i am in love with "suspect video and culture" downtown.
- the marilyn manson show cannot come soon enough.
- i think i need a purple mohawk.
- the air circulation in my room sucks. all day the temp. in there was high 20's.
- gir is the funniest damn robot ever made.
- i need to get back to sudbury and find a place to live next semester. thank god greyhound is back up.
- i am in love with "suspect video and culture" downtown.
- the marilyn manson show cannot come soon enough.
- i think i need a purple mohawk.
- the air circulation in my room sucks. all day the temp. in there was high 20's.
- gir is the funniest damn robot ever made.
- im going to quit my job next week, and probably wont try getting another until im back in sudbury.
- marilyn manson is skipping edmonton so a friend from there i havent seen in like 5 years might be coming out to toronto to see the show here. she adores him and slayer and has never been to toronto so shes pretty excited.
- ottawa won 5-2 last night. they looked great too
- the chameleon i was going to get last week got sold to someone else the day before i was going to get him, but i managed to find another place. the ones they have are a month old and wont be for sale until theyre 4 months so i wont have one for a while, but by the end of the summer ill have a rare ambilobe panther. they get so colourful:
i want.
- marilyn manson is skipping edmonton so a friend from there i havent seen in like 5 years might be coming out to toronto to see the show here. she adores him and slayer and has never been to toronto so shes pretty excited.
- ottawa won 5-2 last night. they looked great too
- the chameleon i was going to get last week got sold to someone else the day before i was going to get him, but i managed to find another place. the ones they have are a month old and wont be for sale until theyre 4 months so i wont have one for a while, but by the end of the summer ill have a rare ambilobe panther. they get so colourful:
i want.
- getting a pet chameleon in a few days. a 6 month old ambilobe panther.
- since i got back to toronto about a week ago ive applied to about 4 places and have been offered jobs at every one of them. having options and knowing i can have more if i look is awesome.
- battle royale is the greatest movie evar.
- the saga with noa still continues. she suggested we hook up over summer and ill have a few classes with her in september. i still havnt gotten a date out of her yet tho.
- i havnt had a drop of alcohol since about last summer and had one smirnoff ice earlier. my head is killing me, im such a light-weight.
- the sens are up 3-1
- im hungy
- guess whos going to the marilyn manson show this summer (assuming hes coming to toronto). ive heard 2 songs from the album. theyre both awesome.
- since i got back to toronto about a week ago ive applied to about 4 places and have been offered jobs at every one of them. having options and knowing i can have more if i look is awesome.
- battle royale is the greatest movie evar.
- the saga with noa still continues. she suggested we hook up over summer and ill have a few classes with her in september. i still havnt gotten a date out of her yet tho.
- i havnt had a drop of alcohol since about last summer and had one smirnoff ice earlier. my head is killing me, im such a light-weight.
- the sens are up 3-1
- im hungy
- guess whos going to the marilyn manson show this summer (assuming hes coming to toronto). ive heard 2 songs from the album. theyre both awesome.
FEBRUARY 2008
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
JANUARY 2008
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
DECEMBER 2007
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
NOVEMBER 2007