IPOD
RADIO
i'm going to be in pittsburgh until august now, to save money. i'm trying to figure out what class i'm going to take in nyc in the fall and how i'm going to afford it. i kinda want to transfer to american apparel in nyc and kinda don't. i think i'll only do it if i can get a manager position and lawd knows when one of them is going to open up.
i'm planning the most fabulous going away party for myself [and lis] ever. it's going to be at the brillobox. apart from that, it's still a secret. but there will be bands. and dancing.
i'm planning the most fabulous going away party for myself [and lis] ever. it's going to be at the brillobox. apart from that, it's still a secret. but there will be bands. and dancing.
last night - i have no idea how the dream started - i dreamed i was dating my ex-gf, sophie. [most recently pictured here:]
and for some reason [well, the real life reason is that she's straight. we dated in high school. straight girls do that sometimes.] having sex with her was awful and she would get up and get distracted in the middle of it. i don't know how it came about, but she and glenn [my present boyfriend] started hanging out and fooling around. i found out and got mad and was like, "fuck you guys! why don't you just get married! i don't even care!" a short while later, they WERE married and after fighting with them a whole bunch i just shot and killed both of them. actually, i shot glenn and then thought about it a little while and shot sophie too.
then after that, i was wandering around nyc looking for a crosstown bus on like 78th or something, and got onto one with a really pretty lady driver. as we're driving the bus through central park, she's going so fast that my feet aren't even touching the floor of the bus, which is insanely fun. until she gets pulled over by a short hispanic policewoman who checks the onboard computer [wtf] to confirm that she was going like 18 miles over the speed limit.
apparently, we [the driver who i'd been making friends with, myself and all the passengers] take this opportunity to ditch the bus and go swimming in a swimming pool [in central park] that's apparently owned by an african tribe living there [wtf]. the tribe's leader decides he's going to make the pretty lady bus driver his wife, so he starts chasing after her, naked, shaking his [rather large] penis. i have to explain to him that in order to marry a woman in our culture, you have to talk to her first [he's naturally surprised by this] for AT LEAST a year. and if she has sex with you before a year has elapsed, this means she's a tramp and you shouldn't marry her because she's no good anyway. [he's even more surprised.] of course i was lying because i had designs on her myself.
i think i woke up after that and laid there wondering whether i'd be mad at glenn during the day. [you know how bad dreams do that sometimes.] i probably had that dream because glenn is interviewing for a job at the guggenheim on friday and would move to new york as soon as he got it. i think i thought for a moment that he could stay with sophie until we moved our stuff out there, but that idea made me angry and jealous and apparently spawned this dream.
i have to tell glenn to go to the supermarket and get eggs so we can have breakfast before he goes to nyc for 4 days with his mom. his original intention was to go out there and talk to professors in the grad program he wants to go to there, but he waited too long to contact them and none of them are available now. great.
and for some reason [well, the real life reason is that she's straight. we dated in high school. straight girls do that sometimes.] having sex with her was awful and she would get up and get distracted in the middle of it. i don't know how it came about, but she and glenn [my present boyfriend] started hanging out and fooling around. i found out and got mad and was like, "fuck you guys! why don't you just get married! i don't even care!" a short while later, they WERE married and after fighting with them a whole bunch i just shot and killed both of them. actually, i shot glenn and then thought about it a little while and shot sophie too.
then after that, i was wandering around nyc looking for a crosstown bus on like 78th or something, and got onto one with a really pretty lady driver. as we're driving the bus through central park, she's going so fast that my feet aren't even touching the floor of the bus, which is insanely fun. until she gets pulled over by a short hispanic policewoman who checks the onboard computer [wtf] to confirm that she was going like 18 miles over the speed limit.
apparently, we [the driver who i'd been making friends with, myself and all the passengers] take this opportunity to ditch the bus and go swimming in a swimming pool [in central park] that's apparently owned by an african tribe living there [wtf]. the tribe's leader decides he's going to make the pretty lady bus driver his wife, so he starts chasing after her, naked, shaking his [rather large] penis. i have to explain to him that in order to marry a woman in our culture, you have to talk to her first [he's naturally surprised by this] for AT LEAST a year. and if she has sex with you before a year has elapsed, this means she's a tramp and you shouldn't marry her because she's no good anyway. [he's even more surprised.] of course i was lying because i had designs on her myself.
i think i woke up after that and laid there wondering whether i'd be mad at glenn during the day. [you know how bad dreams do that sometimes.] i probably had that dream because glenn is interviewing for a job at the guggenheim on friday and would move to new york as soon as he got it. i think i thought for a moment that he could stay with sophie until we moved our stuff out there, but that idea made me angry and jealous and apparently spawned this dream.
i have to tell glenn to go to the supermarket and get eggs so we can have breakfast before he goes to nyc for 4 days with his mom. his original intention was to go out there and talk to professors in the grad program he wants to go to there, but he waited too long to contact them and none of them are available now. great.
this morning, the cat comfort index was zero out of five paws and everything looked like it was made of glass.
happy valentine's day, yinz.
happy valentine's day, yinz.
as soon as i get enough money to spend on something really ridiculous, i'm going to get whatever plastic surgery there is to make the tip of my nose not move up and down when i talk. when it's all downward-pointing, i look like a witch. and i might just get the big bump i have in my nose [from breaking it playing red rover in the 9th grade] smoothed out while i'm at it. i kinda hate my chin too, but i keep telling myself it's a sign of good breeding.
i'm drunk. glenn found a really good spanish white wine. apparently it was inexpensive. naia 2005. it tastes kinda new zealand-y, but it's some undisclosed blend. yarr. i'm going to take klonopin and lay around feeling awesome. i wish i had yarn that i liked so i could mindlessly knit. ALAS! maybe i'll have sex. actually, i doubt it. if i've been bored with sex for over a year, does that mean i'll be bored with it for the rest of my life? i only have sex, like, once a month. [if that.] seriously. it's weird. i started taking welbutrin because i thought it would make me want to do it, but no such luck. all it did was make me a raging sociopath for two months.
what other embarrassing things can i tell you while i'm too intoxicated to know better? hmm. now that i'm LOOKING for embarrassing things, i can't think of any.
oh. here's something really lame: i would move back to pittsburgh if i could buy a huge old beautiful house here. the real estate is so inexpensive. but i would never raise my kids here. it's culturally bereft and sooo racially segregated.
my shrink is pressuring me to go back to pre-med. it's so cute that all my shrinks are so adamant that i become a doctor. i think i might make a good lawyer too, but i imagine the coursework to be very boring. my friends want me to go into marketing. i need to take one of those "what color is your parachute" tests.
i'm drunk. glenn found a really good spanish white wine. apparently it was inexpensive. naia 2005. it tastes kinda new zealand-y, but it's some undisclosed blend. yarr. i'm going to take klonopin and lay around feeling awesome. i wish i had yarn that i liked so i could mindlessly knit. ALAS! maybe i'll have sex. actually, i doubt it. if i've been bored with sex for over a year, does that mean i'll be bored with it for the rest of my life? i only have sex, like, once a month. [if that.] seriously. it's weird. i started taking welbutrin because i thought it would make me want to do it, but no such luck. all it did was make me a raging sociopath for two months.
what other embarrassing things can i tell you while i'm too intoxicated to know better? hmm. now that i'm LOOKING for embarrassing things, i can't think of any.
oh. here's something really lame: i would move back to pittsburgh if i could buy a huge old beautiful house here. the real estate is so inexpensive. but i would never raise my kids here. it's culturally bereft and sooo racially segregated.
my shrink is pressuring me to go back to pre-med. it's so cute that all my shrinks are so adamant that i become a doctor. i think i might make a good lawyer too, but i imagine the coursework to be very boring. my friends want me to go into marketing. i need to take one of those "what color is your parachute" tests.
i had the last two days off, and for the last two days the temperature has not risen above the single digits. i haven't left my house in over 48 hours. now it's ZERO degrees outside and i have to take the bus to work in 2.5 hrs and i am SO not excited about it. i wish AA sold warm-ish clothes, so i could avoid freezing my ass off on the way to work.
when i move back to nyc in june, louise and i are probably moving to the upper upper west side, because it's WAY cheaper than the upper east. i'm just going to have to suck it up and catch the 1/9 trains to get home at night. i REALLY want to convince my exgf to take glenn and i to her family's villa in the south of france before i start a job in nyc, but i realistically won't have enough money saved up by then. unless i don't buy anything but rent until june. i told glenn it would be good for his artwork and his memoirs. you know... love triangle, south of france, that kind of thing.
i'm not excited about looking for a job when i return to nyc. i'm not excited about having gathered only retail experience since moving to pgh. i'm sooo tired of retail. i just want a nice little office job. with benefits.
when i move back to nyc in june, louise and i are probably moving to the upper upper west side, because it's WAY cheaper than the upper east. i'm just going to have to suck it up and catch the 1/9 trains to get home at night. i REALLY want to convince my exgf to take glenn and i to her family's villa in the south of france before i start a job in nyc, but i realistically won't have enough money saved up by then. unless i don't buy anything but rent until june. i told glenn it would be good for his artwork and his memoirs. you know... love triangle, south of france, that kind of thing.
i'm not excited about looking for a job when i return to nyc. i'm not excited about having gathered only retail experience since moving to pgh. i'm sooo tired of retail. i just want a nice little office job. with benefits.
to celebrate the Most Depressing Day of the Year yesterday, I went shopping. the Puma store is my new favorite store, because it's the only place, aside from american apparel, that glenn and i have been able to find clothes that fit our long stick bodies. the sleeves of jackets actually come to my hand while the rest of the jacket remains formfitting! YAY! this is what i got:
and these shoes!! these are the first pair of sneakers that i've bought since i left new york. and they're so warm.
and then i got a pair of ladies' black leather driving gloves at sisley that are actually long enough to fit my fingers! normally, even size large gloves aren't long enough for my fingers, despite their being like twice as wide as my hand. i'm sooo excited about those.
and theeeeeen, glenn and i went to see pan's labyrinth, which is the best movie i've seen in a long time. [even better than casino royale, which is mainly awesome because of daniel craig's huge mah-suls. he's the first james bond that isn't a complete dandy since sean connery. sooo refreshing and sooo hot.]
lastly, we came home, cooked filet mignon, and watched three hours of a david attenborough documentary about insects. and then i drank a bunch of wine and went to sleep.
best day in forever. HA HA to Most Depressing Day of the Year.
and these shoes!! these are the first pair of sneakers that i've bought since i left new york. and they're so warm.
and then i got a pair of ladies' black leather driving gloves at sisley that are actually long enough to fit my fingers! normally, even size large gloves aren't long enough for my fingers, despite their being like twice as wide as my hand. i'm sooo excited about those.
and theeeeeen, glenn and i went to see pan's labyrinth, which is the best movie i've seen in a long time. [even better than casino royale, which is mainly awesome because of daniel craig's huge mah-suls. he's the first james bond that isn't a complete dandy since sean connery. sooo refreshing and sooo hot.]
lastly, we came home, cooked filet mignon, and watched three hours of a david attenborough documentary about insects. and then i drank a bunch of wine and went to sleep.
best day in forever. HA HA to Most Depressing Day of the Year.
the director of the warhol museum bought the portrait glenn painted of him for $500. hee hee! it was the first sale of the show. [and now glenn is getting requests from other people wanting their portrait painted.]
photographs and paintings of me and my beautifulest bestest friend, louise marie, done by my bwafriend. opening reception at La Vie in lawrenceville this saturday at 7pm. louise AND jason fate's art is also going to be in it. all my favorite favorites!
tonight i pose naaaked [topless?] with louise marie for a series of painted portraits glenn is showing at la vie. in a week. haha.
i've been drunk+stoned all day. breakfast [$75 dollars worth] was at the frick cafe with a bellini, a mimosa, two glasses of chardonnay and a dirty martini. and some really amazing food and dessert. and klonopin. since then, it's been more wine and klonopin and sex.
who gets a bloody nose during sex? aside from me, i mean. it's not like i even got punched in it - it just started bleeding. stopping sex due to a little blood loss is for pussies.
this summer [before new york], i'm planning a vacation to the south of france with glenn and my FIRST exgf [aka my prom date/first love], who still desperately wants to have sex with me. her family owns a chateau there. i warned glenn about the impending emotional insanity, but i told him it'd be good for his memoirs.
also: i didn't wear a bandaid to work. but my chin still really fucking hurts and bleeds sometimes. [see last journal entry.]
i've been drunk+stoned all day. breakfast [$75 dollars worth] was at the frick cafe with a bellini, a mimosa, two glasses of chardonnay and a dirty martini. and some really amazing food and dessert. and klonopin. since then, it's been more wine and klonopin and sex.
who gets a bloody nose during sex? aside from me, i mean. it's not like i even got punched in it - it just started bleeding. stopping sex due to a little blood loss is for pussies.
this summer [before new york], i'm planning a vacation to the south of france with glenn and my FIRST exgf [aka my prom date/first love], who still desperately wants to have sex with me. her family owns a chateau there. i warned glenn about the impending emotional insanity, but i told him it'd be good for his memoirs.
also: i didn't wear a bandaid to work. but my chin still really fucking hurts and bleeds sometimes. [see last journal entry.]
in a fit of extreme awesome drunkeness last night, roughhousing in the supermarket in stiletto thigh-high boots at 3:30 am, i managed to fall and split my chin wide open on the dairy case. the fucking dairy case. hahaha! i'm probably going to have a scar. i couldn't stop laughing for like an hour afterward, even as i was trying to tape the damned thing up with butterfly strips because i didn't want to go to the hospital to get stitches. today, it's still kinda bleeding and hurts so fucking much, i've medicated myself with klonopin, vicodin and sauvignon blanc. and tomorrow at work i'm going to have to wear a band-aid on my face. i've NEVER had to wear a band-aid on my face before. how embarrassing.
i need to lose the weight i gained and get toned, so i can start modeling for jen's store again. i need to stop eating nothing but hot dogs, despite them being so delicious.
i'm moving back to nyc in june, and i want to live in east harlem or yorkville - the two closest, least expensive neighborhoods to school. and i'll be living with my bff, louise marie, who is gorgeous, hysterical and a better artist than almost anyone i know. she just graduated from carnegie mellon with a degree in fine arts and business. i'm going to miss glenn and our cat, but they'll visit often. the drive is relatively short and he needs to keep abreast of current contemporary art exhibitions and visit graduate schools in ny. he's either going to columbia or bard, because they have the best programs for curating modern art.
i kind of want to do that awful fast everyone else is doing, with the lemon juice and maple syrup and cheyanne [sp?] pepper for ten days. maybe i'll die.
if anyone knows any good jobs in nyc they think i might be good at, let me know. i'd make a killer personal stylist or makeup artist, i can manage clothing stores, work in museums, in offices and i'm terrifyingly charming, clever and efficient. and i'm an amazing dancer, which isn't really marketable, but it's my favorite thing.
i'm currently helping glenn plan a traveling exhibition on rust belt musicians that he'll probably get paid a ton of money for curating. and i'm priming his canvases for the show he's going to be in with louise marie, and jason fate - my best friend and his best friend. isn't that cute? [i don't know what he's going to do without me.
]
ps. thanks for the xmas present, jason!!!
i need to lose the weight i gained and get toned, so i can start modeling for jen's store again. i need to stop eating nothing but hot dogs, despite them being so delicious.
i'm moving back to nyc in june, and i want to live in east harlem or yorkville - the two closest, least expensive neighborhoods to school. and i'll be living with my bff, louise marie, who is gorgeous, hysterical and a better artist than almost anyone i know. she just graduated from carnegie mellon with a degree in fine arts and business. i'm going to miss glenn and our cat, but they'll visit often. the drive is relatively short and he needs to keep abreast of current contemporary art exhibitions and visit graduate schools in ny. he's either going to columbia or bard, because they have the best programs for curating modern art.
i kind of want to do that awful fast everyone else is doing, with the lemon juice and maple syrup and cheyanne [sp?] pepper for ten days. maybe i'll die.
if anyone knows any good jobs in nyc they think i might be good at, let me know. i'd make a killer personal stylist or makeup artist, i can manage clothing stores, work in museums, in offices and i'm terrifyingly charming, clever and efficient. and i'm an amazing dancer, which isn't really marketable, but it's my favorite thing.
i'm currently helping glenn plan a traveling exhibition on rust belt musicians that he'll probably get paid a ton of money for curating. and i'm priming his canvases for the show he's going to be in with louise marie, and jason fate - my best friend and his best friend. isn't that cute? [i don't know what he's going to do without me.
]ps. thanks for the xmas present, jason!!!
APRIL 2007
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MARCH 2007