Reference for this rant: http://www.themusicologists.com/featured-articles/the-power-trio#comments
The last paragraph tells us not only that Nirvana was over-rated, but that they were only successful due to Cobain's suicide. Balderdash!
His "argument", if one can call it that, is the same trite bullshit i always hear when people blast Tarantino movies, too: they're "Not doing anything new."
Not. Doing. Anything. New. thats why nirvana isn't good. that's why so many people believe only Fanboys and Hollywood loving critics like Tarantino. i'm sure there's more. someone will probably talk about how only stupid people like The Dark Knight because of its hype and Heath Ledger dying, or sunny days suck because EVERYONE is out and, in reality, its just gonna give you skin cancer or some shit...
what is it about being new that people, mostly critics like this guy, love so much? look who he lists, and in what order: Boris--my favorite band. so, WORD!!! but at number 15? groan...Motorhead--ANOTHER favorite band. 12? are you stoned?!?! not 80s/indie/grunge enough for you? The Police...wtf? the fucking POLICE?!?!?! he's calling Nirvana a crappy underserving of their praise because "they wrote catchy, three-minute pop songs", but he's praising The Police? Because Do-Do-Do, Da-Da-Da was such a mind blowing tune, and Every Little Thing is SO impressive! I mean, no WHITE group had ever done reggae quite like that! and the writing by Sting...well, take these lyrics into consideration: "...so bad it makes him cough, just like the old man in that book by Nabokov!" HOLY SHIT!!! HOW DID HE EVER FIND AN ENGLISH WORD TO RHYME WITH NABOKOV!!!!! or a Russian one to rhyme with cough...wow, what a genius.
i guess my real problem here isn't so much that he dismissed Nirvana, but rather the insults he threw at the band, and essentially their fans (me,for instance). "which, by the way, is what created this whole “mystique” and “legacy” anyway. Suicide=album sales". So even though they were a best-selling, world touring, award winning, critically praised MTV band that helped usher in a few years of a style of music that was new to MOST of America in between the coasts, the ONLY thing the band has going for it was Kurt Cobain's fucking SUICIDE?!
that brings me back to my original question: Why does "New" or "Original" equal "Good"? shouldn't the quality of work be based more on just that; its QUALITY rather than how new or unique it is? i've seen alot of unique shit, and its not all fantastic, some of its dull. some shit that is inspired or based on or almost a complete rip-off of other works is amazing!!! sometimes, it takes a few tries to get it right, and someone can see a new and better way of doing things using the same methods. Led Zeppelin was just doing English Whie-Blues, but did it better than anyone else! The Beatles were just playing rock and roll, singing about girls, and standing on stage playing, but they did it better than anyone else!!! Leonardo Da Vinci was just painting pictures and depicting God and Jesus' majetsy, but he still did it better than anyone else. With all of these men and their work, its been about not just what they did but HOW and WHY they did it!
thats why it pisses me off when people talk shit about Tarantino, but only because they can compare him to American cinema of the 70s (who he ripped off, apparently), or Jean-Luc Godard and the French New Wave (again, whom he ripped off), or Blaxploitatioin (more ripping off), or, if you're feeling REALLY randy, MARTIN SCORCESE!!!!!!!!!! but whenever i watch QT films, i see only elements of all these (i haven't watched enough Kung Fu movies to see how similar those are to his films), and what i do see is done damn well, no matter who he gets his ideas from! his presentation is better excecuted than most! he may not have been doing anything "new" but he did something in the early 90s in film that few others could--shake everyone up, and get us to pay closer attention, at least for a few years. Nirvana did the same thing. they didn't do it cookie-cutter, and they didin't rip anyone off, and they CERTAINLY didn't just try to blend in to make money. Kurt may have been a fuck up, but he had balls. and so did his producers, agents, and David Geffen.
Douche-dick ends his blog not by asking people to join in a discussion, or to simply say "thats just hows i sees it" or by saying "thats my opinoin, and this is my blog, so thats how it is" or something equally personal. no, he instead decides to pass out a final insult. no point in being civil i suppose--if you don't agree with him, its not enough that you don't read his shit, but you' might as well completely fuck off and die. "Take your Nirvana-loving ass away from my blog, bitches."
Gladly, cunt-smear.
The last paragraph tells us not only that Nirvana was over-rated, but that they were only successful due to Cobain's suicide. Balderdash!
His "argument", if one can call it that, is the same trite bullshit i always hear when people blast Tarantino movies, too: they're "Not doing anything new."
Not. Doing. Anything. New. thats why nirvana isn't good. that's why so many people believe only Fanboys and Hollywood loving critics like Tarantino. i'm sure there's more. someone will probably talk about how only stupid people like The Dark Knight because of its hype and Heath Ledger dying, or sunny days suck because EVERYONE is out and, in reality, its just gonna give you skin cancer or some shit...
what is it about being new that people, mostly critics like this guy, love so much? look who he lists, and in what order: Boris--my favorite band. so, WORD!!! but at number 15? groan...Motorhead--ANOTHER favorite band. 12? are you stoned?!?! not 80s/indie/grunge enough for you? The Police...wtf? the fucking POLICE?!?!?! he's calling Nirvana a crappy underserving of their praise because "they wrote catchy, three-minute pop songs", but he's praising The Police? Because Do-Do-Do, Da-Da-Da was such a mind blowing tune, and Every Little Thing is SO impressive! I mean, no WHITE group had ever done reggae quite like that! and the writing by Sting...well, take these lyrics into consideration: "...so bad it makes him cough, just like the old man in that book by Nabokov!" HOLY SHIT!!! HOW DID HE EVER FIND AN ENGLISH WORD TO RHYME WITH NABOKOV!!!!! or a Russian one to rhyme with cough...wow, what a genius.
i guess my real problem here isn't so much that he dismissed Nirvana, but rather the insults he threw at the band, and essentially their fans (me,for instance). "which, by the way, is what created this whole “mystique” and “legacy” anyway. Suicide=album sales". So even though they were a best-selling, world touring, award winning, critically praised MTV band that helped usher in a few years of a style of music that was new to MOST of America in between the coasts, the ONLY thing the band has going for it was Kurt Cobain's fucking SUICIDE?!
that brings me back to my original question: Why does "New" or "Original" equal "Good"? shouldn't the quality of work be based more on just that; its QUALITY rather than how new or unique it is? i've seen alot of unique shit, and its not all fantastic, some of its dull. some shit that is inspired or based on or almost a complete rip-off of other works is amazing!!! sometimes, it takes a few tries to get it right, and someone can see a new and better way of doing things using the same methods. Led Zeppelin was just doing English Whie-Blues, but did it better than anyone else! The Beatles were just playing rock and roll, singing about girls, and standing on stage playing, but they did it better than anyone else!!! Leonardo Da Vinci was just painting pictures and depicting God and Jesus' majetsy, but he still did it better than anyone else. With all of these men and their work, its been about not just what they did but HOW and WHY they did it!
thats why it pisses me off when people talk shit about Tarantino, but only because they can compare him to American cinema of the 70s (who he ripped off, apparently), or Jean-Luc Godard and the French New Wave (again, whom he ripped off), or Blaxploitatioin (more ripping off), or, if you're feeling REALLY randy, MARTIN SCORCESE!!!!!!!!!! but whenever i watch QT films, i see only elements of all these (i haven't watched enough Kung Fu movies to see how similar those are to his films), and what i do see is done damn well, no matter who he gets his ideas from! his presentation is better excecuted than most! he may not have been doing anything "new" but he did something in the early 90s in film that few others could--shake everyone up, and get us to pay closer attention, at least for a few years. Nirvana did the same thing. they didn't do it cookie-cutter, and they didin't rip anyone off, and they CERTAINLY didn't just try to blend in to make money. Kurt may have been a fuck up, but he had balls. and so did his producers, agents, and David Geffen.
Douche-dick ends his blog not by asking people to join in a discussion, or to simply say "thats just hows i sees it" or by saying "thats my opinoin, and this is my blog, so thats how it is" or something equally personal. no, he instead decides to pass out a final insult. no point in being civil i suppose--if you don't agree with him, its not enough that you don't read his shit, but you' might as well completely fuck off and die. "Take your Nirvana-loving ass away from my blog, bitches."
Gladly, cunt-smear.
Wowza...this guy just won an Oscar for a film score!!! that's kinda pretty awesome
still my favorite music video of all time.
still my favorite music video of all time.
I'm a fan of 'Melo. There, I said it. I'm a BIGGER fan of Chauncey Billups. With that said, even though its only been 2 games, the Denver Nuggets have had an awesome showing after the biggetst trade of the decade beating the Boston Celtics tonight. Their defense, from what i saw, was better than i've ever seen it. Offense looked iffy at times, which means their win was even more impressive. Being a fan, i'm very biased, but even Charles Barkley can't deny that Denver looked better than expected! If J.R. Smith keeps consistant then he could become a superstar...and that's a big "if", if you're a Denver fan and have been paying attention to him over the past few years. They look better defensively, but their flow wasn't there. That'll happen with brand new players, I imagine, but these guys still looked damn good to beat the second best team in the NBA tonight. Denver has always been a good home team in the 'Melo era, but I still think that few people expected Denver to show so well against the Celtics. Denver doesn't miss 'Melo YET, but I'm sure it'll get to them soon. Hopefully, George Karl can make the proper adjustments to keep Denver in the playoffs for the ninth straight year.
Wrote a Review for the Emma Stone picture Easy A. Got nothin better to do, so i'm posting it here, plus a really hot picture of Emma Stone, because she's really hot. Even her names is hot...
Emma Stone
anyways...Easy A review from the Film Club group:
Full Disclosure: I think Emma Stone is one of the most beautiful, charming, and sexiest actresses out there right now. She is constantly funny, and always has perfect timing. And did I mention she's fucking sexy?
With that said, I was really dissapointed by this movie. Basically, she made it watchable, and that's about it. Too many 90210 style Calfornia High School cliches, and too many sterotypes. The uber-religous girls, the cool teacher, the parents who, really, aren't parents at all but friends who are there in a role only to support the kid that in real life, most likely any way, would never be that emotionally mature, and the handsome boy who understands how hard she's got it. Nothing about this movie suprised me, but it was full of hilarious one-liners. but after awhile, i lost interest. Funny people, funny situations, but overall, not a funny movie. Emma Stone carried this very unoriginal comedy (Thomas Haden Church certainly helped, but I felt he and his character were under-used). Pretty much all my praise goes to her, but I may be biased because of how amazing I thought she was going into this. But, she did have great roles in Superbad and Zombieland, two comedies I loved. So, I don't think its a stretch to think she could carry a comedy on her own. I hope to see alot more of her.
Side-note: why do so many high school comedies have parents who are essentially non-parents, and expect us to believe the kid would turn out all right? Looking back, the most accurate portrate of a non-Parent to a troubled kid in high school in a comedy was Christian Slater's father in Heathers, and that kid tried to Columbine the school!!! Not that every kid with a bad/poor/less-than-qualified parent will create a terror child, but it kind of bugs me that parents in these movies (Mean Girls, She's All That) have kids who are just so damned smart and so well-equipped to deal the the troubles of life after years of, seamingly, neglect, so long as they give a two-minute speech that teaches a lesson. I know its only a movie, but jesus....really? Still? ugh...
anyways, here's Motörhead, because I can:
ahh, the Young Ones. My first introduction to Lemmy. not a bad start i guess...
Cheers.
Emma Stone
anyways...Easy A review from the Film Club group:
Full Disclosure: I think Emma Stone is one of the most beautiful, charming, and sexiest actresses out there right now. She is constantly funny, and always has perfect timing. And did I mention she's fucking sexy?
With that said, I was really dissapointed by this movie. Basically, she made it watchable, and that's about it. Too many 90210 style Calfornia High School cliches, and too many sterotypes. The uber-religous girls, the cool teacher, the parents who, really, aren't parents at all but friends who are there in a role only to support the kid that in real life, most likely any way, would never be that emotionally mature, and the handsome boy who understands how hard she's got it. Nothing about this movie suprised me, but it was full of hilarious one-liners. but after awhile, i lost interest. Funny people, funny situations, but overall, not a funny movie. Emma Stone carried this very unoriginal comedy (Thomas Haden Church certainly helped, but I felt he and his character were under-used). Pretty much all my praise goes to her, but I may be biased because of how amazing I thought she was going into this. But, she did have great roles in Superbad and Zombieland, two comedies I loved. So, I don't think its a stretch to think she could carry a comedy on her own. I hope to see alot more of her.
Side-note: why do so many high school comedies have parents who are essentially non-parents, and expect us to believe the kid would turn out all right? Looking back, the most accurate portrate of a non-Parent to a troubled kid in high school in a comedy was Christian Slater's father in Heathers, and that kid tried to Columbine the school!!! Not that every kid with a bad/poor/less-than-qualified parent will create a terror child, but it kind of bugs me that parents in these movies (Mean Girls, She's All That) have kids who are just so damned smart and so well-equipped to deal the the troubles of life after years of, seamingly, neglect, so long as they give a two-minute speech that teaches a lesson. I know its only a movie, but jesus....really? Still? ugh...
anyways, here's Motörhead, because I can:
ahh, the Young Ones. My first introduction to Lemmy. not a bad start i guess...
Cheers.
AHHHH Marketing!!!! how i hate it.
i'm thinking to myself, as i first see this commercial online, i eat Organic, love animal rights, am pretty much a liberal, would get my ass KICKED by cowboys and such, but drink Jim Beam Bourbon.
i know they're marketing towards the "Manly Man" type of asshole, which is where they're making they're money, but c'mon...Civil War Soldiers? this is a Kentucky Bourbon. its the 21st Century. is Jim Beam REALLY using the Confederate Army as a MARKETING TOOL!?!?!?! they supoorted and died for Slavery for chrissakes...
just sayin.
i love drinking
i love drinking. a few years ago, in a college level creative writing class, i wrote an impromptu poem, or rant i guess, about how much i prefer beer to desert. i stand by that rant, and i wish i had it. i love drinking. its fun. its worthwhile. its a part of my life, and i don't feel ashamed to say that.
i'm watching the Paul Newman film The Verdict, made in 1982. its about an alcoholic lawyer who gets shit done. he wins the case, but he never gives up drinking. he drinks because he feels good when he does. but he still practices law when he finds a case worthy of his conscience. i'm not saying all alcoholics have some lawyer super power, or any other power or skill that shines only when drinking, but in this film it says something powerful:doing the right things is most important. Money, booze, pain, failure, past...none of that matters as much as doing what is necessary to do the right thing. Paul Newman does the right thing, in spite of his boozing. his life revolves around booze because he feels the need to cope with the past failures (bad marriage, almost being disbarred, failed cases, etc). his boozing is a crutch, undoubtadely. but his conscience wins. his boozing doesn't hurt his life when something worth fighting for comes into his life. he still drinks, he still does the right thing. He Still Wins.
i'm not saying that all alcoholics are good people. i'm not suggesting that being a drunk is a "good" thing. i'm also not saying that all drunks are as good at handling stress and terrible situations as people who are mentally sound and don't drink. but this film does something that few dare; it portrays (sp?) a drunk in a positive light. he's not a loser because he drinks. he drinks because he becomes a loser. then, when he starts to win, he still drinks. its apart of his life, but it hasn't taken from it. its neither good, nor bad. for the lawyer played brilliantly by Paul Newman, in one of his greatest roles, he is simply a drunk who is not dead inside. he is still moral. he still has a conscience. it makes him feel elated when he wins, but it helps him cope when he loses. and isn't that the point of booze? it is a celebration of the good and the fun, but a reminder and a friend in solace when things are bad. its is there for us in all the times, good and bad. the problem only seems to come when we forget that is a friend. its not us. we can't let it become us, or what we're supposed to be. we have to still be adults--men and women who are in control . when the booze takes over is when we faiil. when we contorl the booze, and recognize our and address our love and ejnoyment of it. then its not alcoholism, it is a form of quiet, willing respect. booze can hurt, i know. we all know that. but for a great deal of us, it can help. it can be a quiet friend who is with us along a difficult or fun journey through life.
i love drinking. a few years ago, in a college level creative writing class, i wrote an impromptu poem, or rant i guess, about how much i prefer beer to desert. i stand by that rant, and i wish i had it. i love drinking. its fun. its worthwhile. its a part of my life, and i don't feel ashamed to say that.
i'm watching the Paul Newman film The Verdict, made in 1982. its about an alcoholic lawyer who gets shit done. he wins the case, but he never gives up drinking. he drinks because he feels good when he does. but he still practices law when he finds a case worthy of his conscience. i'm not saying all alcoholics have some lawyer super power, or any other power or skill that shines only when drinking, but in this film it says something powerful:doing the right things is most important. Money, booze, pain, failure, past...none of that matters as much as doing what is necessary to do the right thing. Paul Newman does the right thing, in spite of his boozing. his life revolves around booze because he feels the need to cope with the past failures (bad marriage, almost being disbarred, failed cases, etc). his boozing is a crutch, undoubtadely. but his conscience wins. his boozing doesn't hurt his life when something worth fighting for comes into his life. he still drinks, he still does the right thing. He Still Wins.
i'm not saying that all alcoholics are good people. i'm not suggesting that being a drunk is a "good" thing. i'm also not saying that all drunks are as good at handling stress and terrible situations as people who are mentally sound and don't drink. but this film does something that few dare; it portrays (sp?) a drunk in a positive light. he's not a loser because he drinks. he drinks because he becomes a loser. then, when he starts to win, he still drinks. its apart of his life, but it hasn't taken from it. its neither good, nor bad. for the lawyer played brilliantly by Paul Newman, in one of his greatest roles, he is simply a drunk who is not dead inside. he is still moral. he still has a conscience. it makes him feel elated when he wins, but it helps him cope when he loses. and isn't that the point of booze? it is a celebration of the good and the fun, but a reminder and a friend in solace when things are bad. its is there for us in all the times, good and bad. the problem only seems to come when we forget that is a friend. its not us. we can't let it become us, or what we're supposed to be. we have to still be adults--men and women who are in control . when the booze takes over is when we faiil. when we contorl the booze, and recognize our and address our love and ejnoyment of it. then its not alcoholism, it is a form of quiet, willing respect. booze can hurt, i know. we all know that. but for a great deal of us, it can help. it can be a quiet friend who is with us along a difficult or fun journey through life.
i do my best blogging when i'm not even at my computer.
i feel like whenever a good thought, story, description, or idea comes to me and i want to write it down i'm always off doing something else, like driving or taking a shit. for a long time i considered carrying around a tape recorder to keep better track of my thoughts so i could record them down later on my computer, but alas it never happened. this is probably best because i really dislike the sound of my voice so much i'd probably never listen to any of it. for a while i wrote down thoughts in notebooks and journals, but i hate writing out thoughts in long hand. my hand cramps up and gets all sweaty, and typically my thoughts are so much faster than my hands that i can't get everything down the way i want it the first time. typing, i don't have that problem. somehow, i'm an excellent typist (assuming we don't include spelling errors and typos).
SOOOO, it looks like i may be getting a new job. in the long term, this is awesome. in the short term, its a shit-sandwhich filled with elephant cum. its a huge pay cut and a huge drop in hours, but the room for growth looks to be amazing! assuming i don't fuck up. i have to go to my parents and so something that i hoped i'd never have to: ask for help
if i take this job, i'll probably be alot happier and less stressed, at work anyways. but it also means that i won't be able to afford fucking ANYTHING for myself for a few months. that means, less drinking, no pot, no going out and enjoying my life, and definitely no hookers. i don't get hookers anyways, but now i definitley won't be able to. the benefits? well, long term, i'll learn how to work in a fully functional professional kitchen, learn how to work a line, hopefully know how to run a line someday, and might actually have a career as opposed to a series of lame jobs over and over again. i wasted away my twenties, so i guess i'd better get my shit together now before i waste away my 30s, too. and if it doesn't work? well, there's always gay porn...
i feel like whenever a good thought, story, description, or idea comes to me and i want to write it down i'm always off doing something else, like driving or taking a shit. for a long time i considered carrying around a tape recorder to keep better track of my thoughts so i could record them down later on my computer, but alas it never happened. this is probably best because i really dislike the sound of my voice so much i'd probably never listen to any of it. for a while i wrote down thoughts in notebooks and journals, but i hate writing out thoughts in long hand. my hand cramps up and gets all sweaty, and typically my thoughts are so much faster than my hands that i can't get everything down the way i want it the first time. typing, i don't have that problem. somehow, i'm an excellent typist (assuming we don't include spelling errors and typos).
SOOOO, it looks like i may be getting a new job. in the long term, this is awesome. in the short term, its a shit-sandwhich filled with elephant cum. its a huge pay cut and a huge drop in hours, but the room for growth looks to be amazing! assuming i don't fuck up. i have to go to my parents and so something that i hoped i'd never have to: ask for help
if i take this job, i'll probably be alot happier and less stressed, at work anyways. but it also means that i won't be able to afford fucking ANYTHING for myself for a few months. that means, less drinking, no pot, no going out and enjoying my life, and definitely no hookers. i don't get hookers anyways, but now i definitley won't be able to. the benefits? well, long term, i'll learn how to work in a fully functional professional kitchen, learn how to work a line, hopefully know how to run a line someday, and might actually have a career as opposed to a series of lame jobs over and over again. i wasted away my twenties, so i guess i'd better get my shit together now before i waste away my 30s, too. and if it doesn't work? well, there's always gay porn...It Looks Evil Outside
...and i have to work at seven. i need to get to bed (as soon as i finish this beer of course), but i don't wanna wake up. its gonna be so cold and wet and snow-packed...as charlie brown would say, ARRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
i was smart enough to get my tires put on today, hooray. but still, this is one helluva winter.
...wait, w'th fuck ami talking about? it was warmer than fresh shit from a camel's ass until mid-januray. we get fucking spoiled here in colorado. normally, its cold for three days then warm for the next fifteen. but, as they say, when it rains it pours, and apparently when it snows it blows.
hey, i like that. i should use that more often. look, pictures:
this is my roommate Keri's leg. she fucked up her ankle again last weekend. she does this once a year, poor thing. isn't it all bruisy and cool, though?!?!?!
...and THIS adorable little fucker is Yukon. ferretts are fun when they're hopping around, but i like it when they sleep, too. it means they're not shitting all over the place or banging against the cage making a helluva racket.
ok. i'm tired. fod
...and i have to work at seven. i need to get to bed (as soon as i finish this beer of course), but i don't wanna wake up. its gonna be so cold and wet and snow-packed...as charlie brown would say, ARRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
i was smart enough to get my tires put on today, hooray. but still, this is one helluva winter.
...wait, w'th fuck ami talking about? it was warmer than fresh shit from a camel's ass until mid-januray. we get fucking spoiled here in colorado. normally, its cold for three days then warm for the next fifteen. but, as they say, when it rains it pours, and apparently when it snows it blows.
hey, i like that. i should use that more often. look, pictures:
this is my roommate Keri's leg. she fucked up her ankle again last weekend. she does this once a year, poor thing. isn't it all bruisy and cool, though?!?!?!
...and THIS adorable little fucker is Yukon. ferretts are fun when they're hopping around, but i like it when they sleep, too. it means they're not shitting all over the place or banging against the cage making a helluva racket.
ok. i'm tired. fod
Saturday Mornings are for Losers
...and I am said loser!!! i work in, like, five hours, but i decided to start the day with pot and a cocktail. for me, this is kinda hardcore. i don't indulge myself this early, especially on days i have to work. granted, i'm not lifting heavy machinery, and thats plenty of time for me to sober up, but yeah. perhaps i am an alcoholic? naw...momentary laps of reason.
i'm probably gonna masturbate too!
i was gonna go get tires put on my car today too, because MAN is it scary driving to Highlands Ranch when its snowy and icey, itellyouwhat. maybe i'll do it tomorrow before the Super Bowl GO PACKERS!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYS, making some coffee now. this thing had a point before the weed kicked in.
i have oppurtunities at two jobs. and this is very frustrating. One would be a cooking job, but as i'm new to the fold i'd start out at a lower wage and be basically part time. BUT, it has more oppurtunity. if i can prove just how damn good i am, i could quickly get promotions, go higher in the line, get more money, more hours, more pussy, more experience, all that fun shit! BUT, the other job, that would be full time and probably near equal pay, maybe in benefits--I don't know. the one i want wouldn't make sense, and the one that makes sense i don't know if i want.
of course at this point, none of that matters because i haven't really been offered either job, yet. just gotta do some more meeting and greeting and selling of myself (i'm not good at that with women, but i'm GREAT at it with jobs!)
I'm A Mess
i need to clean this room. i need to clean that bathroom. i need to organize things. i need to get back into the gym and quit drinking so much. i need to start saving money better. i need to eat cleaner. i need to get shit squared away.
but this whole lazy-loser thing is SO much easier!!!!
Me, a cook named Angel, and my lil' sister.
...and I am said loser!!! i work in, like, five hours, but i decided to start the day with pot and a cocktail. for me, this is kinda hardcore. i don't indulge myself this early, especially on days i have to work. granted, i'm not lifting heavy machinery, and thats plenty of time for me to sober up, but yeah. perhaps i am an alcoholic? naw...momentary laps of reason.
i'm probably gonna masturbate too!
i was gonna go get tires put on my car today too, because MAN is it scary driving to Highlands Ranch when its snowy and icey, itellyouwhat. maybe i'll do it tomorrow before the Super Bowl GO PACKERS!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYS, making some coffee now. this thing had a point before the weed kicked in.
i have oppurtunities at two jobs. and this is very frustrating. One would be a cooking job, but as i'm new to the fold i'd start out at a lower wage and be basically part time. BUT, it has more oppurtunity. if i can prove just how damn good i am, i could quickly get promotions, go higher in the line, get more money, more hours, more pussy, more experience, all that fun shit! BUT, the other job, that would be full time and probably near equal pay, maybe in benefits--I don't know. the one i want wouldn't make sense, and the one that makes sense i don't know if i want.
of course at this point, none of that matters because i haven't really been offered either job, yet. just gotta do some more meeting and greeting and selling of myself (i'm not good at that with women, but i'm GREAT at it with jobs!)
I'm A Mess
i need to clean this room. i need to clean that bathroom. i need to organize things. i need to get back into the gym and quit drinking so much. i need to start saving money better. i need to eat cleaner. i need to get shit squared away.
but this whole lazy-loser thing is SO much easier!!!!
Me, a cook named Angel, and my lil' sister.
what the FUCK was that all about?!?!?
i get weirded out when my dreams are so vivid and real that i end up thinking its going on well after i wake up. like, my emotions and thoughts are stuck on the feelings i had within the dream itself while it was going on. i once dreamt i accidentally threw a baby off the top of the Gates Rubber Factory whilst trying to save it from a fire. the fear and horror of what i'd just done even haunted me when i woke up.
but last nights dream was, for me anyways, unique. i've had a lucid dream only once, and i understand that its when you're aware you're in a dream and can control it. mine seemed to be more like some Inception type shit: a dream (in this case, sleepy daydream) within a dream. basically, i dreamt that i was falling asleep and having a vivid dream that i had no real control over, but was viewing in, it some ways, in the third person. this has never happened to me.
in this dream within a dream, i decide to see what'd happen if i rob a bank. i'm sure it was the bank that we use for work, but of course it looked different. also, it seemed to be in a basement. i walked in with no mask, just a coat and my work t-shirt. i'm holding a shotgun and the tellers recognize whats happening, and treat is as an annoying, but inevitable, aspect of their job. i collect a couple-of-grand from their tills and walk off, firing my shotgun in the year to scare people (in my head, the dreaming head that is, i knew this was pointless--and i was viewing it from an elevated postion, almost like a camera was shooting it). i most certainly knew i was recognized, but seemed to hope that if i ignored people enough and didin't go back in this bank, i could dely my eventual capture.
somewhat later, i managed to loose a whole cap in my mouth that covered three teeth. it chunk of gold filling (note: i do not have gold fillings) fell out of my mouth, and my jaw got swollen and my teeth hurt, badly. it felt like those three teeth were open caverns exposed to the elements. i needed a dentist, PRONTO! where was the nearest dentist? in the same building as the bank i'd only recently robbed.
i don't remember much after that. i do remember being in the parking lot, scared to go in but knowing i'd have to. a middle-aged blonde woman began telling me about the bank holdup, and i acted oblivious of course. she recognized my car as being the crook's car, but she didn't realise it was mine. i played along. for whatever reason, however she never made mention of calling the police or notifying the bank that the robber had returned to the scene of the crime.
this was about the time that it was no longer a dream within a dream, so i got very confused. had i awoken? had i never been alseep? was my robbing the bank a result of sleepwalking? or is there a gap in memory-i remember being asleep and dreaming about the robbery, but does that mean i have a blank space in my memory where, AFTER the dream, i went out and actually DID rob the bank? i mean, i'd have no logical reason to go to THAT particular dentist office if i was aware that the robbery had actually occured. so, that must mean that i didn't realise the robbery really did occur, but this woman confirmed that yes--i must have robbed the bank. unless in some unlikely coincidence, i dreamt i robbed the bank, someone stole my car, then they robbed the bank, and returned the car to me. but yeah, highly unlikely third scenerio.
so, seriously...what the FUCK was that all about?!?!?
i wish i could draw. i'd like to make a comic out of that whole spiel. anyone with comic-style artistic talents wanna take a stab at it?
i get weirded out when my dreams are so vivid and real that i end up thinking its going on well after i wake up. like, my emotions and thoughts are stuck on the feelings i had within the dream itself while it was going on. i once dreamt i accidentally threw a baby off the top of the Gates Rubber Factory whilst trying to save it from a fire. the fear and horror of what i'd just done even haunted me when i woke up.
but last nights dream was, for me anyways, unique. i've had a lucid dream only once, and i understand that its when you're aware you're in a dream and can control it. mine seemed to be more like some Inception type shit: a dream (in this case, sleepy daydream) within a dream. basically, i dreamt that i was falling asleep and having a vivid dream that i had no real control over, but was viewing in, it some ways, in the third person. this has never happened to me.
in this dream within a dream, i decide to see what'd happen if i rob a bank. i'm sure it was the bank that we use for work, but of course it looked different. also, it seemed to be in a basement. i walked in with no mask, just a coat and my work t-shirt. i'm holding a shotgun and the tellers recognize whats happening, and treat is as an annoying, but inevitable, aspect of their job. i collect a couple-of-grand from their tills and walk off, firing my shotgun in the year to scare people (in my head, the dreaming head that is, i knew this was pointless--and i was viewing it from an elevated postion, almost like a camera was shooting it). i most certainly knew i was recognized, but seemed to hope that if i ignored people enough and didin't go back in this bank, i could dely my eventual capture.
somewhat later, i managed to loose a whole cap in my mouth that covered three teeth. it chunk of gold filling (note: i do not have gold fillings) fell out of my mouth, and my jaw got swollen and my teeth hurt, badly. it felt like those three teeth were open caverns exposed to the elements. i needed a dentist, PRONTO! where was the nearest dentist? in the same building as the bank i'd only recently robbed.
i don't remember much after that. i do remember being in the parking lot, scared to go in but knowing i'd have to. a middle-aged blonde woman began telling me about the bank holdup, and i acted oblivious of course. she recognized my car as being the crook's car, but she didn't realise it was mine. i played along. for whatever reason, however she never made mention of calling the police or notifying the bank that the robber had returned to the scene of the crime.
this was about the time that it was no longer a dream within a dream, so i got very confused. had i awoken? had i never been alseep? was my robbing the bank a result of sleepwalking? or is there a gap in memory-i remember being asleep and dreaming about the robbery, but does that mean i have a blank space in my memory where, AFTER the dream, i went out and actually DID rob the bank? i mean, i'd have no logical reason to go to THAT particular dentist office if i was aware that the robbery had actually occured. so, that must mean that i didn't realise the robbery really did occur, but this woman confirmed that yes--i must have robbed the bank. unless in some unlikely coincidence, i dreamt i robbed the bank, someone stole my car, then they robbed the bank, and returned the car to me. but yeah, highly unlikely third scenerio.
so, seriously...what the FUCK was that all about?!?!?
i wish i could draw. i'd like to make a comic out of that whole spiel. anyone with comic-style artistic talents wanna take a stab at it?
