“wears clean underwear.”

“i once saw a crippled nun with a lap full of blind kittens trapped in a burning building. firefighters and law enforcement officers looked on helplessly as the flames slowly creaped towards the hapless old woman and the crying kittens. i myself looked on in stunned silence until i noticed a figure in the shadows of a nearby building. upon closer inspection i noticed that the person taking refuge in the shadows was none other than a weeping Batman. i was so startled that i almost did not notice the stolen ambulance veering off the road and heading right at me. Batman remained still, wracked only by his silent sobs as the ambulance, which contained an unwed mother giving birth to triplets and stolen as a getaway vehicle by three gun toting bankrobbers, barreled down upon me. the next thing i know the ambulance is speeding past me as some blur of a mythical athenian godlike man pushed me to my safety and safely reigned in the ambulance, disabling the armed robbers and then helping with the birth of three beautiful baby girls. but that was not all. this man of herculean strength and adonis-like beauty flew(yes, he can fly) to the top of the burning building and rescued the handicapped nun and her blind kittens. my jaw dropped like a freshman's on prom night, astonished by what my eyes had just witnessed. and all Batman could say was that he wondered what joe would look like in tights.”