age: 29 (Nov 27, 1982)
MEMBER SINCE: July 2004
occupation: Doula, Childbirth Ed. Teacher, mama
stats: Generously proportioned
sign: Sagitarius
gets me hot: Sunshine, unavailbality, Broad showlders, nice eyes, intellegence, a nice set of teeth, glasses.
most humbling moment: The first time I helped a woman have a baby
makes me sad: Really hot weather, feeling overwhelmed, computer breake downs, car breake downs, heart ache
fantasy: Being rescued, kissing in the moonlight, for everything to be easy and peaceful, to be thanked and rewarded, to understand what *it* all means, to be wanted, being pet on the face .
body mods: Large chest tattoo ( Flames, horseshoe, stars) Woman nursing baby on my lower back, Peppermint candy tat on back of the neck. Many more to come!
into: Reading, Silence, writtting, painting, walking, naked ladies, tattoos, dreaming, teaching, mothering, loving, nature, the moon.
makes me happy: A clean car, nice smelling shampoo, Being outside in the sun, organic produce, fancy toe socks, new shoes
This will be my last Blog entry. I found out a suspicain I had was true today. This journal is no longer sacred. My private thoughts are being read by people who dont like me. People who wish to hurt me. But, first, I need to clear the air. Here goes.
Josh- I love you. I always will. I am not in love with you, as you arent in love with me. I hope you and I can be freinds again. I miss that part of our relationship. We made a child together, and no matter what I have said on this blog, or anywhere else, you will always be a vital part of my life. Thank you for the happy years we had together, for they enriched my spirt and strenghtened my soul.
Kathy- You are transparent. I have loved you and been apart of your family and yet you still fail to be honest with me. I know you dont like me. I know you talk badly behind my back. I expect that, of course, but what I dont expect is you to be nicey nice. That isnt real. It makes me feel like shit. And, by the way, if I am not welcome in your house, neither is my child. You should really talk to me about the way you feel. I can take it. Also, as I said, I expect you to say things about me. BUT. DO NOT talk about me in front of my daughter. That is completly unacceptable.
Grace- I will admit that it has been hard for me to accept you into my, and my child's life. I have heard really nasty things (maybe added to the pile) about you. But, you need to know how I really feel about you. I want to be honest: You fucking rock. I love you. Really. I think you are going to be the thing that saves this horrible situation. I am in awe of you willingness to put shit aside and get to know me as a person. Thank you for that. I look forward to spending more time with you. Josh is lucky to have you, and you to have him.
Tabatha- .....eh.....I've said all I have to say to you.
Well, there it is. I'm though.
-Amber-
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