Hey everyone,

I am here to post another of my not so weekly blogs. I do apologize for being so erratic with my postings. My life has been one drama after another lately. So, let me fill you in on some of the more dramatic things going on with me.

It started about a month ago. Kelli and I were watching TV, well more like just listening to it while doing some other mundane activity (paying bills, etc.) when I heard a name that I knew on the news. A woman from our area had been arrested in the Chicago area for murdering her 4 year old daughter! I nearly puked right then and there. Kelli didn't understand why I was having such a reaction. I started shaking and crying. I had dated this woman several years ago. I knew her 2 oldest daughters, but did not know the little one. She had gone back to her ex after we had broken up and I am guessing they had another child. I was totally out of sorts for the next few days, reliving that entire short-lived relationship. Trying to see if there was signals that I had missed. I still can't remember anything that would have told me that she was crazy. She was very nice, but a raging alcoholic. That's why we broke up. Believe me, there is nothing sexy about a naked woman falling down drunk!

Well, a few days after this, I come home and there is a police detectives business card stuck on my door. I have no friggin clue why! So I call the next day and they want me to come to the station so they can ask me some questions regarding this woman! I'm like Holy Fuck!!!! I was born and raised in the Bronx, so my feeling about police may be a lot different than others. So now I am still a wreck over what initially happened and now this is added to it. I was a total wreck. I couldn't keep anything down. It was awful. I guess I was just being me, making a mountain out of a mole hill. The police here were doing the Illinois police a favor and trying to get some background information on Marcie. Apparently she had some...

Hey everyone,

I am here to post another of my not so weekly blogs. I do apologize for being so erratic with my postings. My life has been one drama after another lately. So, let me fill you in on some of the more dramatic things going on with me.

It started about a month ago. Kelli and I were watching TV, well more like just listening to it while doing some other mundane activity (paying bills, etc.) when I heard a name that I knew on the news. A woman from our area had been arrested in the Chicago area for murdering her 4 year old daughter! I nearly puked right then and there. Kelli didn't understand why I was having such a reaction. I started shaking and crying. I had dated this woman several years ago. I knew her 2 oldest daughters, but did not know the little one. She had gone back to her ex after we had broken up and I am guessing they had another child. I was totally out of sorts for the next few days, reliving that entire short-lived relationship. Trying to see if there was signals that I had missed. I still can't remember anything that would have told me that she was crazy. She was very nice, but a raging alcoholic. That's why we broke up. Believe me, there is nothing sexy about a naked woman falling down drunk!

Well, a few days after this, I come home and there is a police detectives business card stuck on my door. I have no friggin clue why! So I call the next day and they want me to come to the station so they can ask me some questions regarding this woman! I'm like Holy Fuck!!!! I was born and raised in the Bronx, so my feeling about police may be a lot different than others. So now I am still a wreck over what initially happened and now this is added to it. I was a total wreck. I couldn't keep anything down. It was awful. I guess I was just being me, making a mountain out of a mole hill. The police here were doing the Illinois police a favor and trying to get some background information on Marcie. Apparently she had some of our old pictures and other things from way back then. I was asked some very personal questions, but it was nowhere near how bad I thought it would be.

I have been recovering from that ordeal over the past few weeks and KW has been there for me every step. Heck, she even drove me to the police station, lol. I was so friggin nervous!

A couple of other things that have been taking up my time. I had to fire someone. I never did that before, and I don't want to again. But I guess it's all part of being management. Now I am in the middle of the whole interview thing trying to replace that person, plus add one more person.

And last, but not least, I attended my very first company function as a manager this past Friday. It was the annual Christmas party, and yes, we attended as a couple. So I was kind of nervous about how that would go over. At work I keep my private life private, but apparently not that private. Most were already aware of my orientation and accepted Kelli and I into the fold. We had a total blast! Another one of my blowing things totally out of proportion episodes I guess. I do need to work on that.

Whew! So now that I have gotten that off of my chest I feel much better. Did I just hear someone say "Shut up! and show your tits!"? Okay, okay, I can take a hint!



Other than that things have been pretty good around here. We are getting into the Christmas mood a little at a time here. I am still trying to figure out what I am getting you know who for Christmas, but I will figure out something. All I can say is thank goodness for Ebay!

Okay, one more boobie break and then comes the dreaded poetry section. To entice you to stay for my cursed verses I will show more than just my massive boobage! LOL Hope you like.



A Cross Stands There

As the sun sets in beautiful blues, pinks, and reds,
Night lowers her head on a single standing cross,
I knew the woman buried there, such a loss,
The world will never know how sweet and beautiful she really was,
A shining star finally burned out when it was time,
She left a legacy of love, courage, and kindness,
Courage came from her mind and heart,
She would run away from her demons day and night,
Love came from the one she called wife and the children she left behind,
She was a wonderful writer but no one ever paid any attention,
She was a flower in a world of war and destruction,
And now, a cross stands there, where she always went,
To her place of thinking and understanding,
And what I am writing today is her tribute, her legacy,
For she never meant the world any harm,
She only meant for us to become one voice, one love,
I think what bothered her the most,
Is that we, as humans, would never love like what was in her mind,
Where there was no hate, no judgment, where love always lead,
Today there stands a cross to show where she was finally happy,
Where she finally found a home, a place to call hers,
She fought for so long, struggled for longer,
Now all the demons are laid to rest and nighttime is her friend,
She no longer has to hide from the shadows that plagued her,
Now, an angel watches over this spot,
Someone to keep her spirit company, I guess you could say,
From now until forever a cross will always stand there.

goodbye

Goodbye, one of those words,
So little consideration for true meaning.
See you later, cheerio, in a bit.
All variations, all hopeful
A return is due, imminent, real
But goodbye is final.

Never say it without feeling
Lose that grudge, ignore any misjudgment
Any regrets go through the door
Before you whisper to your past

Whether it is to a friend,
family or a soul mate,
Be honest and sincere,
With any goodbyes you have to make.

Sometimes a relief,
Sometimes with tears,
But always from the heart….
Always goodbye.