Sweet merciful crap.
I would just like to take this moment in time, to address anyone left on my friend's list who may have been there since the beginning. After reading every last gosh darn entry I have posted over the last 5 years, I would just like to take this time to apologize to anyone and everyone who had to put up with that psycho bs. Dear god, I don't think I've ever encountered a more miserable wretch of a human being. Perhaps one day when I have the energy, I'll go through and delete all of that garbage so that no one will ever have to endure those words. But I think I have other things that my time might be more well suited for. Ha. It is so mind blowing to think about the fact that I am a mere paper thin shell of the person that I used to be. I have completely revamped myself in such a small amount of time. I'm a functioning human being! Huzzah! It only took half a decade, haha.
Anyway. In conclusion, I'm sorry. I'll bake everyone that was subject to my misery a nice batch of special brownies
Fantastic. Peace out, yo.
I would just like to take this moment in time, to address anyone left on my friend's list who may have been there since the beginning. After reading every last gosh darn entry I have posted over the last 5 years, I would just like to take this time to apologize to anyone and everyone who had to put up with that psycho bs. Dear god, I don't think I've ever encountered a more miserable wretch of a human being. Perhaps one day when I have the energy, I'll go through and delete all of that garbage so that no one will ever have to endure those words. But I think I have other things that my time might be more well suited for. Ha. It is so mind blowing to think about the fact that I am a mere paper thin shell of the person that I used to be. I have completely revamped myself in such a small amount of time. I'm a functioning human being! Huzzah! It only took half a decade, haha.
Anyway. In conclusion, I'm sorry. I'll bake everyone that was subject to my misery a nice batch of special brownies
Fantastic. Peace out, yo.
Sooo, Here`s a thought. It appears I`ve been left to my own defenses to make Bonnaroo happen this year. So I`m just gonna throw this out there. Anyone looking for a ride or know someone who is in need? Music festival in Tennessee for those unfamiliar. I can pick up anyone in the GTA or somewhat along the way (London/Windsor/Sarnia). I`m awesome, I promise. We`ll have a blast.
Random!! I can honestly say I never thought I'd see this place again. But alas, here I am. Two years older, ever so much more the wiser. I'm totally going to get sucked back into buying a membership for myself once this expires. Hilarious, I say.
so california was a pretty killer time. so many incredible bands, and i escaped without so much as a sunburn! imagine that. rage was just insane. the respect they command while on stage is just intense. it's really inexplicable.. against me was awesome as usual. played too much new stuff that i don't know though. generally speaking most bands will keep to their older tracks in a festival like setting, but, whatev..
it was real neat to see bands like lcd soundsystem and faithless rock the fuck out. thousands of people in a tent dancing their faces off is crazy to witness. also got turned on to girl talk whilst there among other electronica/dance/whatever you want to call it. i have such a newfound respect for so many artists of all genres.. and i'd really like to learn to spin records, on a somewhat unrelated note. random. maybe one day, lol. it would just be so cool to have a room full of people dancing away to your shit.. *shrugs*
after the festival we drove out to malibu for a few days with some british kids that we had met at the festival. driving along the pacific coast highway, listening to some dallas green was probably the highlight of my whole trip. i just couldn't get over how breathtakingly gorgeous it is over there. definitely taken for granted by the locals..
we ended up camping on this massive cliff overlooking the ocean. woke up to dolphins swimming below and everything. it was crazy. ridiculously picturesque. the next day was spent venturing along the beach, falling asleep in the sand.. i was so heartbroken to return home, but i will return one day, that much i vow..
not much else is new really. been to a few shows since then, seeing TOOOOOOOOOL in a few weeks, can't fucking wait for that. especially so since i missed out on going to bonnaroo because the majority of my friends are douche bags. which i've come to realize and except rather quickly in the last little while.
because of such, i've found myself alone a lot recently. which i'm fine with, that's more or less the way it's always been. it would just be a lovely, refreshing change to have some interesting folk to converse with and such.. maybe one day. except for that whole socially inept thing.. ah well.
solitude has given me a lot of time to start sewing again. haven't really made anything too exciting lately though.. resized a lot of shirts, lol. also learning how to silkscreen prints. and let me tell you. this process is a bitch and should be avoided at all costs! i figured that i'd manage to get it down pat pretty quickly, but i keep fucking everything up and it's overly frustrating.. bah. practice makes perfect i suppose.. lame.
ahh, really didn't intend to make this massive, so let's end this off with some pictures of my newest artwork!
got it done the week i came back from cali, but it wasn't finished until friday, soooo..
voila!
this was really difficult to attempt to document, lol.
detail!
i'm pleased with how it turned out i guess. not as ecstatic as i am with my arm, but that's how it goes. i mean, it's real well done and all. just not exactly what i was going for, looking back.. everyone hates it, ha, which i feel makes me like it that much more. it'll look less massive once i fill in the rest of my shoulder/back area, heh.
anyways..
i think my account is expiring soon. so if anyone feels the need to keep in touch, feel free to email me (umbrella_less@hotmail.com) or harass me on livejournal (eleanor_h), yes, lj is lame, i know. but i'm still an addict, what can i say.
take care kids.
it was real neat to see bands like lcd soundsystem and faithless rock the fuck out. thousands of people in a tent dancing their faces off is crazy to witness. also got turned on to girl talk whilst there among other electronica/dance/whatever you want to call it. i have such a newfound respect for so many artists of all genres.. and i'd really like to learn to spin records, on a somewhat unrelated note. random. maybe one day, lol. it would just be so cool to have a room full of people dancing away to your shit.. *shrugs*
after the festival we drove out to malibu for a few days with some british kids that we had met at the festival. driving along the pacific coast highway, listening to some dallas green was probably the highlight of my whole trip. i just couldn't get over how breathtakingly gorgeous it is over there. definitely taken for granted by the locals..
we ended up camping on this massive cliff overlooking the ocean. woke up to dolphins swimming below and everything. it was crazy. ridiculously picturesque. the next day was spent venturing along the beach, falling asleep in the sand.. i was so heartbroken to return home, but i will return one day, that much i vow..
not much else is new really. been to a few shows since then, seeing TOOOOOOOOOL in a few weeks, can't fucking wait for that. especially so since i missed out on going to bonnaroo because the majority of my friends are douche bags. which i've come to realize and except rather quickly in the last little while.
because of such, i've found myself alone a lot recently. which i'm fine with, that's more or less the way it's always been. it would just be a lovely, refreshing change to have some interesting folk to converse with and such.. maybe one day. except for that whole socially inept thing.. ah well.
solitude has given me a lot of time to start sewing again. haven't really made anything too exciting lately though.. resized a lot of shirts, lol. also learning how to silkscreen prints. and let me tell you. this process is a bitch and should be avoided at all costs! i figured that i'd manage to get it down pat pretty quickly, but i keep fucking everything up and it's overly frustrating.. bah. practice makes perfect i suppose.. lame.
ahh, really didn't intend to make this massive, so let's end this off with some pictures of my newest artwork!
got it done the week i came back from cali, but it wasn't finished until friday, soooo..
voila!
this was really difficult to attempt to document, lol.
detail!
i'm pleased with how it turned out i guess. not as ecstatic as i am with my arm, but that's how it goes. i mean, it's real well done and all. just not exactly what i was going for, looking back.. everyone hates it, ha, which i feel makes me like it that much more. it'll look less massive once i fill in the rest of my shoulder/back area, heh.
anyways..
i think my account is expiring soon. so if anyone feels the need to keep in touch, feel free to email me (umbrella_less@hotmail.com) or harass me on livejournal (eleanor_h), yes, lj is lame, i know. but i'm still an addict, what can i say.
take care kids.
leaving tomorrow for detroit at 7!
then off to cali we go, first thing thursday!
god, it's so surreal. really hasn't hit me quite yet, i'm just busy being highly annoyed with packing.
ah well, soon enough i'll just have to hope that i've got everything and pray that my luggage doesn't get lost.
i'm so terrified of losing my things. they are ever so nice things. i really do enjoy possessing them!
never noticed how high maintenance i was until i sat down and tried to make a list of everything i need on a regular basis, ha.
oh my..
back in a week!
then off to cali we go, first thing thursday!
god, it's so surreal. really hasn't hit me quite yet, i'm just busy being highly annoyed with packing.
ah well, soon enough i'll just have to hope that i've got everything and pray that my luggage doesn't get lost.
i'm so terrified of losing my things. they are ever so nice things. i really do enjoy possessing them!
never noticed how high maintenance i was until i sat down and tried to make a list of everything i need on a regular basis, ha.
oh my..
back in a week!
sometimes i forget this journal even exists anymore.
mainly because i've grown to dislike this site over the past little while i suppose..
don't get me wrong, the people are fanfuckingtastic.
but i'm just not really a fan of.. the direction this place has headed in...
or maybe it's the fact that i've been a huuuuge picnic/apnea fan since way back in the day, lol.
anyways.
just over a month until coachella.
pretty excited, we're now driving which should be pretty damn excited.
but my oh my. 38 hours in a car is enough to drive anyone batty.
i love how stubborn you are in refusing to let me drive your precious car.
i'd probably get us lost anyways :p
what else is new.. hmm..
tattoo appointment booked for mid may. soooo excited.
bonnaroo in june.
against me AGAIN, also in may. three times in less than three months!
that's more tom then i think i can handle.
ha. who am i kidding.
oh, and new hair again.
now i'm going to be a dyeaholic after leaving it be for so very long, i know it.
something has seemed to... warp in the last little while.
slowly my vision of the world in its entirety is changing.
no longer am i feeling as cynical and angry as i have throughout every year leading up to the current.
and i am one angry bitch.
we're not entirely sure why, in all likelihood it stems from my terrible self image/hatred/defacing issues.
well it's not likely, it's evidently fucking obvious.
but as the weeks go by, and the 5am trips to the gym/hours of reconditioning start to slowly show results,
i find myself more comfortable in my skin.
less irritated and hollow. less... i don't know.
i feel like i've woken up in an alternate universe.
one where i'm free to exist. to function. to grow. learn. be.
somewhere allowing me to feel just as deserving of this precious air as the next.
for once in my life i'm not constantly wishing for my demise..
and it feels fucking good.
now, if only we could sucker someone into dating me...
mainly because i've grown to dislike this site over the past little while i suppose..
don't get me wrong, the people are fanfuckingtastic.
but i'm just not really a fan of.. the direction this place has headed in...
or maybe it's the fact that i've been a huuuuge picnic/apnea fan since way back in the day, lol.
anyways.
just over a month until coachella.
pretty excited, we're now driving which should be pretty damn excited.
but my oh my. 38 hours in a car is enough to drive anyone batty.
i love how stubborn you are in refusing to let me drive your precious car.
i'd probably get us lost anyways :p
what else is new.. hmm..
tattoo appointment booked for mid may. soooo excited.
bonnaroo in june.
against me AGAIN, also in may. three times in less than three months!
that's more tom then i think i can handle.
ha. who am i kidding.
oh, and new hair again.
now i'm going to be a dyeaholic after leaving it be for so very long, i know it.
something has seemed to... warp in the last little while.
slowly my vision of the world in its entirety is changing.
no longer am i feeling as cynical and angry as i have throughout every year leading up to the current.
and i am one angry bitch.
we're not entirely sure why, in all likelihood it stems from my terrible self image/hatred/defacing issues.
well it's not likely, it's evidently fucking obvious.
but as the weeks go by, and the 5am trips to the gym/hours of reconditioning start to slowly show results,
i find myself more comfortable in my skin.
less irritated and hollow. less... i don't know.
i feel like i've woken up in an alternate universe.
one where i'm free to exist. to function. to grow. learn. be.
somewhere allowing me to feel just as deserving of this precious air as the next.
for once in my life i'm not constantly wishing for my demise..
and it feels fucking good.
now, if only we could sucker someone into dating me...
whine whine whine.
suck it up, wench.
and now for something completely different;
carry on!
suck it up, wench.
and now for something completely different;
carry on!
so.
after assuming all my attempts were futile with the anonymous flower girl,
she sent me a message on myspace (puke) telling me to email her instead!
because she's never on.
and was all like let's talk, seriously and shit.
it's so very sad how enthralled i am about this.
i mean, clearly this will amount to nothing,
but it gives me that one tiny scrap of hope to obsess over and pass the day.
and yes.
so giddy.
i'm such a loser.
maybe i'll resume my flower habits tomorrow..
*runs to the store*
after assuming all my attempts were futile with the anonymous flower girl,
she sent me a message on myspace (puke) telling me to email her instead!
because she's never on.
and was all like let's talk, seriously and shit.
it's so very sad how enthralled i am about this.
i mean, clearly this will amount to nothing,
but it gives me that one tiny scrap of hope to obsess over and pass the day.
and yes.
so giddy.
i'm such a loser.
maybe i'll resume my flower habits tomorrow..
*runs to the store*
OCTOBER 2009
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SEPTEMBER 2009
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AUGUST 2009
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JULY 2009