i'm selectively telling a few friends, and wouldn't announce this on facebook, but i feel like saying this somewhere - I'm 65 days sober. after years of hardcore drinking, i was having physical problems, and admittedly it was fucking up my life. so i quit drinking.

it's weird and it's difficult, and i miss the highs, but i sure as fuck don't miss the lows. i feel less depressed, less like the moody motherfucker that i always thought i was.

maybe i won't die young like i was pretty damn sure i was going to. now i just gotta figure out how to live.

oh there's that old familiar heartbreak again... really? again?

a silly little xtranormal film i made
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6917655/those-things-that-go-on-the-other-end-of-darts

i've never been this long without being interested in someone. since things fell apart with the previous lady, i have been completely disinterested in romantic entanglements. not that i'm not crazy attracted to many many women, but none for whom i have an actual "thing." and i am totally fine with this. satisfied with being single for now.

on another front, i just played my first show with a band in 2.5 years, and by all accounts (mine included) it was the best show i've ever played. super excited about the new band. incredible musicians, new songs, just great lively stuff.

nearly three months back in athens, and loving it. music all the time. still struggling to find a job, but eh. whatever.

one negative - i met somebody that i have strong feelings for, and she has strong feelings for me. we are wildly attracted to each other. but there is an obstacle that will literally never be able to be gotten past. and i am frustrated as fuck. and sad as fuck about it. my life would be so much different if not for one little stupid thing - i'm pretty sure i could have loved her if given the chance. ugh. trying not to focus on it.

music music music.

fickle fucking heart. aching, longing one minute, soaring for someone else the next. fickle fickle fickle. i feel like a teenager. am i really 33?

Conanish Haikus

Conan is funny
Leno is fucking boring
NBC sucks balls

At least now i have
one more hour every day
to not watch TV

no more wax tom cruise -
O, the masturbating bear!
fake chicken nuggets

i've spent a few nights this week slaving over a new mathematical theorem, and i think i've finally proven it

greater than or equal to 4 Steel Reserve 211s = certain hangover

i've triple checked my work, and i wake up with the same answer every time.

three more weeks till i get paid and can afford good beer. and sushi. my god i want some sushi so bad i think i'd punch my own brother in the face to get some if that's what it took.

by the way, if you live near a trader joe's and don't have a lot of dough, i highly recommend Simpler Times in cans. $3 for a six-pack. Add a lemon wedge and that shit is actually enjoyable and doesn't seem to be hangover-inducing. but they were out of stock this week, so i switched to the Steel Reserve.

fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day i held aloft my magic sword and said "By the power of Grayskull.... I have the power!"

"just like Neil Armstrong, I went to space, and now I'm back, and nobody gives a shit."

has anybody watched that series Eastbound and Down? Fucking High-larious.