SuicideGirls > Members > cardboardcondom

cardboardcondom wants an accordion for her birthday.

I’m private

MEMBER SINCE: December 2007

occupation: Student / Badass

body mods: Couple of tattoos, couple of piercings. Nothing big.

sign: libra. the unbalanced scales.

into: happiness. love. books. vinyl. music. comfortable couches.

fantasy: you.

gets me hot: intellectuals.

makes me happy: my friends and family. my dogs, blondie and kiwi. weedies. woody allen movie/wine nights at my apartment. meeting somebody new. being able to breathe. adult swim.

makes me sad: starving kittens and puppies. starving ethiopians. feeling tired all day long. not starting my day off with coffee. waking up alone.

i lost my virginity: in front of my best friend at my grandmother's beach house during spring break. oh, how i miss high school.

crush: anthony bourdain.

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Thursday

JULY 24, 2008 @ 01:24 AM | 5 COMMENTS

i can't sleep at allllll.

so i'm thinking this might be because i have way too much on my mind. i miss companionship. i'm getting over it and definitely used to it, but i don't like having to cuddle with a pillow to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. maybe i'm just under the influence or maybe i'm just lonely. eh, it's both.

oh well. i'd rather be alone and semi-ok with myself than with the wrong person. i'm glad i made the initiative to severe all ties with said person. i think i just want to be important to somebody other than myself again. i'm willing to wait. i mean, i have waited a while now... it just seems like everybody around me is falling in love. i miss that feeling.

i'm glad i'm also focusing on myself instead of worrying about somebody else and their feelings. i'm happy that i don't have to make anybody a priority, but i just think things could be a little different right now had i posessed better judgement in the past.

ugh. lately i've noticed that my spelling is pretty horrible. i don't know what's wrong with me. i used to be the spelling champ in my hometown. haha. ok, i am definitely not sober, but yeah. fuck selfhelp books.

cunninglinquist

Quakertown, PA

November 2003

JUL 24, 2008 06:36 AM

being alone sucks, but it is better than being with the wrong person. You will get through it, it takes time and distraction, stay busy and work yourself until you are too tired to think.

flamingoyo

Laval, QC

June 2007

JUL 25, 2008 03:43 PM

It's an even better feeling, I think, when you take the time to be alone and spend time worrying about your needs and options, other than expending that energy on someone who isn't necessarily doing it for you.
The loneliness is a pretty bad downside to it, though..
Hope things pick up with you soon

Callistus

San Antonio, TX

January 2005

AUG 23, 2008 09:08 PM

I just to think that having many things on my mind wouldn't allow me to sleep. The doctor told me that my body was out of whack and not producing the chemical required for inducing sleep. I've been on Ambien for 4 years and it works so good. I wouldn't recommend it for long term cause now I'm addicited to it.

Hoepfully by now, you have adjusted.