i've blogged here twice.
and the impending nuptials were mentioned both times. today we're 24 days away. i feel incredibly calm and excited about the whole thing to be honest...but there's one thing that's seriously bothering me.
i've never been the chick who had a million girl friends. ever. girls are gorgeous...and sexy...and ballsy...but we can also be pretty damn nasty to one another. i've always fared better with either guys...or girls as more casual acquaintances. the few girls i do have in my life...they all live half a country away from me.
having never been married before...i'm totally just making everything up as i go along. the engagement. what the bridal party is supposed to do. hell, what the wedding ceremony is supposed to be. because the fiance and i are adamant that this day be a reflection and celebration of our merging of families and us a couple...not just whatever a wedding "should" be. or even what an engagement should be.
in all honestly, all i think it should be...is a time for a couple to plan a wedding...to get to know each other's families...to express who they are and what they want as they prepare for a lifetime of togetherness. sappy i know...but it's true.
so why am i all upset about not having the engagement that i thought i should then? because i guess if nothing else, i expected that those few girls around me would be happy for me. and they are, in their own way i guess.
with the exception of my sister. the maid of honor. who hasn't even returned my phone calls in almost a week.
let me be totally honest...there's family drama for sure...but i am no bridezilla. the fiance and i have planned and done pretty much everything for this wedding with our own hands. which is awesome. so is it too much to ask for then, for a little moral support? a little excitement? a little...well...anything really?
maybe the feelings and tension just go with a wedding. i don't know.
but i do know...that even though the pain of feeling like i'm losing my sister...without having a clue why....is nearly unbearable some days, at least i know i have someone next to me who will help talk me through it. and walk me through it. forever.
and the impending nuptials were mentioned both times. today we're 24 days away. i feel incredibly calm and excited about the whole thing to be honest...but there's one thing that's seriously bothering me.
i've never been the chick who had a million girl friends. ever. girls are gorgeous...and sexy...and ballsy...but we can also be pretty damn nasty to one another. i've always fared better with either guys...or girls as more casual acquaintances. the few girls i do have in my life...they all live half a country away from me.
having never been married before...i'm totally just making everything up as i go along. the engagement. what the bridal party is supposed to do. hell, what the wedding ceremony is supposed to be. because the fiance and i are adamant that this day be a reflection and celebration of our merging of families and us a couple...not just whatever a wedding "should" be. or even what an engagement should be.
in all honestly, all i think it should be...is a time for a couple to plan a wedding...to get to know each other's families...to express who they are and what they want as they prepare for a lifetime of togetherness. sappy i know...but it's true.
so why am i all upset about not having the engagement that i thought i should then? because i guess if nothing else, i expected that those few girls around me would be happy for me. and they are, in their own way i guess.
with the exception of my sister. the maid of honor. who hasn't even returned my phone calls in almost a week.
let me be totally honest...there's family drama for sure...but i am no bridezilla. the fiance and i have planned and done pretty much everything for this wedding with our own hands. which is awesome. so is it too much to ask for then, for a little moral support? a little excitement? a little...well...anything really?
maybe the feelings and tension just go with a wedding. i don't know.
but i do know...that even though the pain of feeling like i'm losing my sister...without having a clue why....is nearly unbearable some days, at least i know i have someone next to me who will help talk me through it. and walk me through it. forever.