So... I actually like Valentine's Day. Okay, hear me out.
I don't like the idea behind it, that you take one day out of the year to tell that special someone that you *really* love them (shouldn't you do that every day? or every other day? and how does buying her chocolate or roses prove anything?) because it implies that it's okay to take that love for granted for the other 364 days of the year, and in that way it's sort of like Mother's Day, or Father's Day, or even Christmas: we have to let society tell us when to do something special for the special people in our lives. And maybe it's the lil' Catholic boy inside of me that says this -I'm an atheist now so it doesn't exactly keep me up at night or anything- but I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of non-Catholics, in a (nominally) secular society, celebrating a Roman Catholic martyr, for any reason; I mean, how many non-Muslims celebrate Ramadan? Just smacks me as a little disingenuous. And I know all the arguments for it: that life is too busy for you to really "go nuts" for your special someone all the time or whatever, but if that's the case, you can still find, I'm sure, one day in a month, or every other week, or whatever -hell keep it spontaneous- to show her you *really* love and appreciate her; Valentine's Day, to me, just feels too premeditated to be any real expression of affection. You do it because everyone else has to do it.
I've always felt this way, and I've been blessed in the past to have significant others who agreed with me, so the inevitable awkwardness of not celebrating VDay, of treating it like any other day, never became an issue. But in any case, I started off this blog by saying I liked Valentine's Day, so with those above caveats in mind, here's why:
It's the ultimate bullshit filter. More than Christmas, more than any other lovey dovey Love The One Your With sort...
So... I actually like Valentine's Day. Okay, hear me out.
I don't like the idea behind it, that you take one day out of the year to tell that special someone that you *really* love them (shouldn't you do that every day? or every other day? and how does buying her chocolate or roses prove anything?) because it implies that it's okay to take that love for granted for the other 364 days of the year, and in that way it's sort of like Mother's Day, or Father's Day, or even Christmas: we have to let society tell us when to do something special for the special people in our lives. And maybe it's the lil' Catholic boy inside of me that says this -I'm an atheist now so it doesn't exactly keep me up at night or anything- but I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of non-Catholics, in a (nominally) secular society, celebrating a Roman Catholic martyr, for any reason; I mean, how many non-Muslims celebrate Ramadan? Just smacks me as a little disingenuous. And I know all the arguments for it: that life is too busy for you to really "go nuts" for your special someone all the time or whatever, but if that's the case, you can still find, I'm sure, one day in a month, or every other week, or whatever -hell keep it spontaneous- to show her you *really* love and appreciate her; Valentine's Day, to me, just feels too premeditated to be any real expression of affection. You do it because everyone else has to do it.
I've always felt this way, and I've been blessed in the past to have significant others who agreed with me, so the inevitable awkwardness of not celebrating VDay, of treating it like any other day, never became an issue. But in any case, I started off this blog by saying I liked Valentine's Day, so with those above caveats in mind, here's why:
It's the ultimate bullshit filter. More than Christmas, more than any other lovey dovey Love The One Your With sort of holiday, it really shows you the people in your life who are *really* desperate for love. This isn't as callous as it sounds. Nor do I mean just romantic love, but any sort of affection. We all feel lonely sometimes, we all want to be loved sometimes, and that's fine, it keeps us human, but the best way to figure out who "needs" love more than anyone else? Find the person who's making the biggest stink -good or bad- about VDay. The person who throws the "Anti-Valentine's Day" party and only invites their single friends, the person who scours eBay or the mall for his/her significant other, all the while saying that he/she hates it, the person sitting at the end of the bar, taking shots and saying "Fuck Valentine's Day" with every drink, the person who tries to deconstruct Valentine's Day by showing you the bloody history of this day (the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, which was just a coincidentally timed gangland slaying, or the massacre in Strasbourg of 2000 Jews in the 14th century -which, contrary to popular belief, had nothing to do with any of the St. Valentines, it was just Catholics being Catholics, and burning Jews as scapegoats for the Black Plague).
There are many people in my life -some of them know this, most do not- who put up shields to show that "they don't really need nobody," and Valentine's Day hits them especially hard. Most of them are lucky enough to be with someone this year, they're all celebrating today (surprise surprise), so they don't have to pretend that they don't care, or throw Anti-Valentine's Days or whatever. For myself, I'm actually riding a very upbeat wave of positive feelings -might just be cuz I got a new car- but I'm thinking, as I head out today, and I see all these Valentine's Day haters, maybe I'll take the time to give them a kind word, or give 'em a hug, or buy them a shot. Seriously. Not celebrating is one thing, objecting is another, but sour grapes is just sour grapes, and as I get older and generally more tolerant of things it bugs me to see other folks trying to rain on other people's parades, as trite or ill-intentioned as I believe those parades to be. Most folks might use VDay as an excuse to take love for granted, but at least they're not doing that today. And we all have to start somewhere.
I don't like the idea behind it, that you take one day out of the year to tell that special someone that you *really* love them (shouldn't you do that every day? or every other day? and how does buying her chocolate or roses prove anything?) because it implies that it's okay to take that love for granted for the other 364 days of the year, and in that way it's sort of like Mother's Day, or Father's Day, or even Christmas: we have to let society tell us when to do something special for the special people in our lives. And maybe it's the lil' Catholic boy inside of me that says this -I'm an atheist now so it doesn't exactly keep me up at night or anything- but I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of non-Catholics, in a (nominally) secular society, celebrating a Roman Catholic martyr, for any reason; I mean, how many non-Muslims celebrate Ramadan? Just smacks me as a little disingenuous. And I know all the arguments for it: that life is too busy for you to really "go nuts" for your special someone all the time or whatever, but if that's the case, you can still find, I'm sure, one day in a month, or every other week, or whatever -hell keep it spontaneous- to show her you *really* love and appreciate her; Valentine's Day, to me, just feels too premeditated to be any real expression of affection. You do it because everyone else has to do it.
I've always felt this way, and I've been blessed in the past to have significant others who agreed with me, so the inevitable awkwardness of not celebrating VDay, of treating it like any other day, never became an issue. But in any case, I started off this blog by saying I liked Valentine's Day, so with those above caveats in mind, here's why:
It's the ultimate bullshit filter. More than Christmas, more than any other lovey dovey Love The One Your With sort...