My knee gave out 4 days into Special Forces Selection. I'm fucked.
Well, at least some things were maid much clearer to me tonight. I was waiting for some clarity, and I finally received it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jozsef:
Thank goodness you're not enigmatic! 
Once we realize that we're all essentially the same, things get much less tidy and the nightly news becomes very difficult to watch. The pain of seeing needless suffering and death inflicted on others by crude politicians is a burden that we will have to accustom ourselves to permanently. We can only search for opportunities to make some small difference as they present themselves.
Once we realize that we're all essentially the same, things get much less tidy and the nightly news becomes very difficult to watch. The pain of seeing needless suffering and death inflicted on others by crude politicians is a burden that we will have to accustom ourselves to permanently. We can only search for opportunities to make some small difference as they present themselves.
ferkixlll:
I read your recent comment on Edan's blog.
Sad to say: until there is money in it for the POLY-TRICKers
[politicians] to change, Rapeing Iraq & the world will be SOP.
I hope ya got someone good watchin' yer back.
lol,I'm sure you wish that you had a Maid to clear things up.
Please it's 'made'. Be safe.
Sad to say: until there is money in it for the POLY-TRICKers
[politicians] to change, Rapeing Iraq & the world will be SOP.
I hope ya got someone good watchin' yer back.
lol,I'm sure you wish that you had a Maid to clear things up.
Please it's 'made'. Be safe.
I wish I had had much much more to drink tonight. Much more. I think it's too late now.
I miss Iraq sometimes. Not because it's a great place, and not because I had a great time. I saw this coming while I was still there. Everything that caused me grief over there was from within my organization. Not to say I wasn't at risk by the hands of the enemy, but that never really bothered me much. Other than that, it was almost...
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user0207231052:
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way....and I'm even more sorry that I don't have any words to make it better...
I constantly feel like I'm running out of time. There's far too much left to experience to let the sand just keep seeping through the hourglass. It seems like I've wasted and thrown way so very much time already. I feel like I've doggy paddled into the deep water as a week swimmer and can't seem to get back. Now I'm just treading water to...
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I was just watching some "planet earth". The world is so unspeakably gorgeous. I can't wait to travel again. Without witnessing pure beauty, it becomes increasingly difficult to believe in, until eventually you reach the point where you forget it's impact or relevance. When I do get reminded though, even if it's just on a television screen, it brings tears to my eyes. I can't...
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user0207231052:
I think you need to write...professionally....your words make others feel....
user0207231052:
I agree with your comment on my blog....I suppose I'm a bit cynical because Americans haven't learned in the past 8 years of globalization, imperialism, occupation, and a destruction of our infrastructure.
I feel like I have something I need to get out of my system, something on my mind that's weighing me down. I don't know what it is though. I don't why that is. Maybe I don't have enough time to think anymore. Maybe I've lost the ability to think clearly? Do I just dream around about what I want to accomplish without doing anything?...
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worldablaze:
I've managed to say nothing again, maybe less than nothing. Empty statements are everywhere, adding more of my own seems excessive. Can you add emptiness to empty space? If the emptiness keeps adding up, it might gain mass and consume substance around it like a black hole. Or maybe as the emptiness expands, and the substance remains the same, the substance becomes increasingly insignificant and concealed within the vast surrounding emptiness.
user0207231052:
It's not empty.....I promise
Wow...I just went over the past 8 months of my blogs. I can't believe just how negative and unproductive they are. I don't know what to think about that. On the one hand, they were meant as a means for me to keep a journal, so they're no more than a depiction of what's been on my mind. But on the other hand, I'm kind...
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worldablaze:
Special Forces or nothing, yup, pretty much. If that falls through I'm out at the end of my term. Not sure what you mean with Killeen...isn't that the town you live in? I live in Fayetteville, NC...one of the worst shitholes I've seen in the world. I liked parts of Baghdad better than I like Fayetteville. By "out of here" I mean out of Fayetteville, out of the 82nd Airborne Division and out of the regular army. Out of my current life, I guess.
user0207231052:
I'm so sorry---I keep forgetting you're in NC...I guess I keep assuming everyone in the army is at Ft. Hood....kind of silly.....I'm confident you'll find what you're looking for, though I completely feel you with the desire to escape or leave your current life....I think wherever you go, you'll change lives....
Much peace,
edan
Much peace,
edan
Finally...a positive note in life. I got my Subaru Forester Sport XT back after 3 months in the shop. I've been driving all these lame rentals and other vehicles since then and had forgotten just how amazingly this thing drives. It's a beast. I'm going to have to be much more careful this time around, mustn't let anything happen to it.
I did it again. Lost a blog by clicking something else. Makes me pretty mad, but I think I already filled my quota tonight for spazzing out. Put 5 rounds of 00 buckshot through my guitar hero controller. That's after beating the shit out of it to the point that I currently have blood splatter in my face. I promised myself a new life, a...
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I wrote a relatively lengthy blog. It is now gone. That is frustrating. I can't possibly convey how close I am right now to tearing my fucking computer to shreds, it's not like I wasn't already pissy enough beforehand. Burn it all down. Fuck all this shit. What's the fucking point? I don't even understand why the fuck I try.
Oh yeah. Nothing but a whole lot of mess here. Fuck yeah. Makes you all high on life.