but
that
story
was not
true.
the moon
did it
or the lady.
she drew
me out,
pulled
on
my
blood.
it was like
water
going
down
the
drain.
i came
with it,
(had to)
think of a
tree,
or the sky.
i am
taken
for
granted
and
my
beauty
dismissed,
because
it is
expected
(the sun rising)
(or
the moon
the moon)
it is...
Read More
that
story
was not
true.
the moon
did it
or the lady.
she drew
me out,
pulled
on
my
blood.
it was like
water
going
down
the
drain.
i came
with it,
(had to)
think of a
tree,
or the sky.
i am
taken
for
granted
and
my
beauty
dismissed,
because
it is
expected
(the sun rising)
(or
the moon
the moon)
it is...
Read More
we are out of this hell hole. july will be our last month....yahoo! tommorrow i give the landlord his last 800$ along with a nice little note which reads "in august, we shall be gone." it is a beautiful thing.
easy before..
aren't you sick of??
yes.
take your youth,
play with it.
it goes.
dance out
in the rain.
and he was dumb
to think
i still could
now
my eyes
have lost
their sweetness.
the empty wine
bottle
on the porch
reminded me
of
the beauty
i was and
always
could be
he says
but you can do
that now
and i laugh...
Read More
aren't you sick of??
yes.
take your youth,
play with it.
it goes.
dance out
in the rain.
and he was dumb
to think
i still could
now
my eyes
have lost
their sweetness.
the empty wine
bottle
on the porch
reminded me
of
the beauty
i was and
always
could be
he says
but you can do
that now
and i laugh...
Read More
y:
Quality.
Fascinating Cat facts. I had no idea she'd been going so long. I'm only just getting into her - I've only heard two songs: 'Fool', and 'Werewolf'. 'Fool' gets stuck in my head a lot these days. I was watching one of her videos the other day, directed by Harmony Korine, and thus
as fuck.
On the subject of my dream-deja vu theory - I've been wanting to read this book for about nine years now. I should really make an effort.
A page of Vervain comments would be psychedelic.
Fascinating Cat facts. I had no idea she'd been going so long. I'm only just getting into her - I've only heard two songs: 'Fool', and 'Werewolf'. 'Fool' gets stuck in my head a lot these days. I was watching one of her videos the other day, directed by Harmony Korine, and thus
as fuck.
On the subject of my dream-deja vu theory - I've been wanting to read this book for about nine years now. I should really make an effort.
A page of Vervain comments would be psychedelic.
have i lived my future already? what the hell is deja vu? walking in warwick up a hill with my son in a stroller and i feel like i have already lived that very moment in my distant past. i have experienced these moments (as everyone else) throughout my lifetime. each time i am floored. i'm sure there is a scientific explanation for this somewhere,...
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y:
Do you have nightmares about elephants falling through your ceiling and crushing you? 
Deja vu is when something happens in reality that we once dreamt about. My theory.
Deja vu is when something happens in reality that we once dreamt about. My theory.
y:
That's what I meant - we dream the future; even mundane things; but years in advance, so that when the reality finally comes we only have the most vague sense possible of having experienced it before.
sticky here in rhody. a decision must be made about moving somewhere else or not. i am all for change (and an apartment with more rooms) even if it is only temporary. it will be more money but i want to get a little job and change the routine up a bit. the nieghbors upstairs are relentless. i hear bumping and objects falling on the...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
y:
Is she a fat cow, then?
huck:
christ... do you socialise with them at all or are they simply an anonymous clan of annoyants?
i don't talk to my neighbours at all; it's quite funny actually because there seems to be a tacit agreement that we have nothing in common and will not aim to overcome that.
i don't talk to my neighbours at all; it's quite funny actually because there seems to be a tacit agreement that we have nothing in common and will not aim to overcome that.
this night
fine
in
under
my head. he isn't available. niether is the other one. he left without a sound and then i was alone. i seethed in the quiet. i wanted to bash pans around and make a clamor. i did no such thing, as i finally got the child to sleep. i don't sing lullibies anymore. after he left, i began talking to...
Read More
fine
in
under
my head. he isn't available. niether is the other one. he left without a sound and then i was alone. i seethed in the quiet. i wanted to bash pans around and make a clamor. i did no such thing, as i finally got the child to sleep. i don't sing lullibies anymore. after he left, i began talking to...
Read More
saturday has already started positive. we both ate cereal this morning. he almost never eats anything so this is a wonderful thing. we also got a little bit more sleep than usual. the small things are very important.
y:
Excellent.
the sacred marriage
inside myself
i grew some balls
i grew a chest.
and
she didn't
like me
anymore.
she said
i scared her
because
i wanted her
(but i did.)
he didn't want me
either.
what is the use
if i
am no longer needed?
he asked.
but
want
is a precious
thing.
want is
all there
is.
inside myself
i grew some balls
i grew a chest.
and
she didn't
like me
anymore.
she said
i scared her
because
i wanted her
(but i did.)
he didn't want me
either.
what is the use
if i
am no longer needed?
he asked.
but
want
is a precious
thing.
want is
all there
is.
billyfivecrows:
Androgyne is
Sacred, but
It's irony is
That it often
Engenders
Null and
Void...
(I love graham crackers. They have an interesting origin, I believe.)
Sacred, but
It's irony is
That it often
Engenders
Null and
Void...
(I love graham crackers. They have an interesting origin, I believe.)
this is what you can do for me. get me some water. i won't drink tap. doesn't taste right. get me some juice. if there isn't a carton of o.j. i can swig from throughout the day, there is something missing. make the days go quicker. someone light a firecracker under my ass. get me some coffee. i don't like routine. make me like it...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
y:
I find myself oddly compelled to do all that stuff for you 
They don't call me Lackey for nothing 
They don't call me Lackey for nothing 
cathshee:
move to colorado, convince sister to ditch freaky longhaired controling boy. . . .free yourself from ALL the PAST, and start over as the amazing single mom from outerspace.....(or learn to love the man, FGS).....move closer to your other lackey (ME). For free child care and back rubs(you forgot about them did'nt chya). . . .people say I give better backrubs then this girl who is a licensed back rub giver. . . . .it's all about the love baby. . . .and bite a bullett. . .
been gone. to the cape. had fun. got closer to hub's family...of great worth to me. consumed too much sugar. back now. hope all are well. happy summer (i would prefer fall over any other season, myself) oh well, trying not to grit my teeth too hard. we may be moving again. upstairs people are like gorillas or elephants or some other wild beings. it...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
viva:
well im up for the affair just get out to vegas. 
billyfivecrows:
You're married?!?! My dreams are shattered!
(Yes. Maybe it's best to move away from the upstairs wildlife. You know, I was that wildlife, once. Lived above this man and his wife, me and a rotating assortment of other loud, hyperactive, loud-music-playin', drunk and high, combat-booted, nocturnal punkers. My neighbor was not pleased 'cause he worked days and got up really early. We did not. Lot's of beating fists on my door, and much screaming, let me tell ya! I think I was 19 at the time, 20.
I know better now, to say the least!)
And yes... sadness is feeling. But so is bliss.
Thank you for the sweetness!
-b.
(Yes. Maybe it's best to move away from the upstairs wildlife. You know, I was that wildlife, once. Lived above this man and his wife, me and a rotating assortment of other loud, hyperactive, loud-music-playin', drunk and high, combat-booted, nocturnal punkers. My neighbor was not pleased 'cause he worked days and got up really early. We did not. Lot's of beating fists on my door, and much screaming, let me tell ya! I think I was 19 at the time, 20.
I know better now, to say the least!)
And yes... sadness is feeling. But so is bliss.
Thank you for the sweetness!
-b.
change.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
y:
I can't spare any, sorry.
3thrice3:
?????
those things
i cry
for
i cry to
over and
over.
on the sidewalk
that could trip
the feeble
or blind,
i steam upward
sweating
and ugly,
alone
and lonely,
pushing
the stroller
over
slabs
of
uprooted concrete.
just you
and
me,
kid.
your mother
is
a fucking
recluse.
she calls me
and talks about
a
turtle
and i
really
don't care
about it,
steaming...
Read More
i cry
for
i cry to
over and
over.
on the sidewalk
that could trip
the feeble
or blind,
i steam upward
sweating
and ugly,
alone
and lonely,
pushing
the stroller
over
slabs
of
uprooted concrete.
just you
and
me,
kid.
your mother
is
a fucking
recluse.
she calls me
and talks about
a
turtle
and i
really
don't care
about it,
steaming...
Read More
3thrice3:
Cheer up! Nick loves ya!!
<-- Thats me being a goofy lil monkey
<-- Thats me being a goofy lil monkey
catdad:
Great poem. I just went through some of your previous entries. Very good writing. I like your profile pic, too.
Are you collecting all of this writing for an eventual book?