vervain______

i don't want to split up 50/50
that's the way they do it in this
gross town.
i got all the glory in the world
i hope
it doesn't
floor you before you go.
room service calls calls calls
roomservice calls calls calls.

there is nothing
to touch
not even with
your eyes
though
you may lay them
somewhere
as careless as
you are
laying them
elsewhere
from
where
you are.

only because i thought "why not?" and so i did, but this thing expires in 3 days and i have no plans in continuing it.


you?

burning
bridges.
would rather
swim
the gap than
walk
it.

am i
smaller
somehow?
i don't believe it.
have i fallen
from somewhere?
no, not even.
would i have teeth
for that one who
said?
maybe somewhere
sharp
in the bushiness
of my mind.
but it would be
a momentary reaction,
unrefined.
so what then?
my heart is a good
and
functioning color.
i will not wander
where that color
goes under.

this is
what a heart looks like
if someone placed it
in a glass case
aimed lights on it.
here is
a breast,
a lung,
a brain.
we
walk around quietly.
the lighting is moody.
some are listening to the
audio.
i am on the verge
of tears.
the ticket was free.
given to us
by my father's wife.
i walked into the exhibit
excited...
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skuffed the surface of boston.
arrived with 5 minutes to showtime with a cranky and tired child. so it was "bye and thanks and have a good time." there i was being seated at my little table, i alone, the only single person in the joint at a table. after i was sat, right in the front, my friends, i got misty eyed. i felt...
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what you may need

sun

rain

something sharp

something blunt.

air

water

food.

what is
the next
morning
like?
what are
the reasons,
the
answers in
little boxes?
(arms to hold onto
sweat to taste.)
i do not know.
the words fall down
a soothing balm
but not
for me.
this is my confusion.
a white morning
a bright morning
the light is blinding
there is nothing
but
a forced space
to breathe in.

want to
leave
tonight.
want to
just go
on the road
under the stars
with the windows
open
hearing the wind
the bugs
the sounds of
everything
that lives
in the dark
sounding.

what could you?
many things,
and i have.
what you got?
my hands,
my gut.
what?
what?

nothing.
something.

loving.

bottles of water
more than
one
opened,
waiting to go
down,
be
taken up
or
doing
nothing
but
being.
yes,
that is more
like.
but a
heartbeat
i hear
in the future
in the things
that don't
breathe
yet
or
never will.