moving on.
y:
and on and on and on.....
7:22 am. foggy eyed, zombie like creeping around the house while he leaves not understanding why last night was so hard. in the end, it seems like it will come down to the crying it out method. i have no more energy, and hubs is in a goddamn dreamworld about the situation. he's concerned about getting us to new york for some "much needed fun"...
Read More
Read More
what
room
are you
in?
because
i want to
be
in that
room
too.
room
are you
in?
because
i want to
be
in that
room
too.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
y:
The warm room.
viva:
thats sweet
richard buckner was great. in a wave of constant sound, he sweated and sang, eyes closed shut to keep out the sight of the crowd. (a true artist, he is). it is obvious that he makes music because he has to. before showtime i couldn't believe, or i could, how awkward he was. very quiet. very focused. i got a front row seat and nearly...
Read More
Read More
going away for a day or so...will be returning monday night. see you then.
moving across the water
and looking down
the sun
burning
my eyes,
i watch as
the water
rises
and flips
white
from the
boat's edge.
i have fallen in
many times.
my mind producing
small deaths
to pacify
my interest.
at each end,
i become
frightened.
i hold
the railing
tighter...
Read More
moving across the water
and looking down
the sun
burning
my eyes,
i watch as
the water
rises
and flips
white
from the
boat's edge.
i have fallen in
many times.
my mind producing
small deaths
to pacify
my interest.
at each end,
i become
frightened.
i hold
the railing
tighter...
Read More
billyfivecrows:
Been gone for a couple of days, myself, holed up in a basement recording studio making abstract jazz and smoking too much weed! 
My buddy called spur-of-the-moment, and I took off. Whythefucknot, right?
Is it a business or pleasure trip? Recharge, or responsibilty? Anyhoo, see ya when ya get back. Have fun (I hope!)
My buddy called spur-of-the-moment, and I took off. Whythefucknot, right?
Is it a business or pleasure trip? Recharge, or responsibilty? Anyhoo, see ya when ya get back. Have fun (I hope!)
y:
Aye - have fun! if fun is what you're after.
the thing is
you in yours,
i in mine.
we miss each other.
the world passes
us by.
we wait
longer.
that is all
we know
how to do.
wait
and
remember.
i flew low with some owls last night.
i enjoyed the ride.
you in yours,
i in mine.
we miss each other.
the world passes
us by.
we wait
longer.
that is all
we know
how to do.
wait
and
remember.
i flew low with some owls last night.
i enjoyed the ride.
start it over. end the above noise. keep your furnature where it rests, and other requests.
sketchy_mf:
It won't be long now..... and then "Pleasant" street can burn, baby, burn!
trainwreck and the indifference
what about your home?
i am a nomad. i don't have a home, even inside myself, i am the worst kind of drifter.
but you are married, you have a son...yes?
they didn't tell me. one i love, the other i just tolerate. it is an awful situation. muddy.
do you realize how awful you sound? what about the poor bastard...
Read More
what about your home?
i am a nomad. i don't have a home, even inside myself, i am the worst kind of drifter.
but you are married, you have a son...yes?
they didn't tell me. one i love, the other i just tolerate. it is an awful situation. muddy.
do you realize how awful you sound? what about the poor bastard...
Read More
my son calls ducks, cocks. or it could be a swan or another bird, but to him, it's a cock. this, most certainly, cracks me up.
at the moment, this is all i have to report on. good day, sirs and lovelys.
at the moment, this is all i have to report on. good day, sirs and lovelys.
y:
When he was a boy, my brother said "fucks and knives" instead of "forks and knives". True story.
he didn't
take it
from me
it fell off
and down,
past the covers
to the sheets.
now
my neck
is bare
but
i have
others
to put
on.
gold
and
silver
with
matching chains.
i always have
the matching chains.
he just
wanted it
so badly
more so
when i tried
to take it away
not even
knowing
he wanted it
to begin with...
Read More
take it
from me
it fell off
and down,
past the covers
to the sheets.
now
my neck
is bare
but
i have
others
to put
on.
gold
and
silver
with
matching chains.
i always have
the matching chains.
he just
wanted it
so badly
more so
when i tried
to take it away
not even
knowing
he wanted it
to begin with...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
fred:
I like that.
So you're into astrology?
Do you know your moon sign?
I like that.
So you're into astrology?
Do you know your moon sign?
y:
Absolutely. In fact, I hope to know, someday, exactly what's happening in the stars from one day to the next, so's I can bring all these different ideas together.
in other news...
i can't sleep because i have to. it is the worst motivation to tell yourself when your not sleeping that you should be because you know how tommorrow will be if you don't and so on...of course the floor is shit for comfort but i am not waking the milk monster up with even a soundless sneak into the bedroom. he knows when i enter....
Read More
Read More
y:
This is terrible. Doesn't your husband help at all? I mean, I know he can't do the feeding, but shit, you do sound sleep deprived, I can totally understand the being scared of your boy coming through the dark thing. Is there no-one that can help you out? Just watch him for a while while you get some decent shut-eye? Friends? Siblings? Parents? You sound pretty alone in this, like it's all piled on you, and there needs to be more of a balance.
Is your son's feeding sporadic? Or have you managed to guide him into a rhythm of feeding at set times? My sister-in-law has gotten into a rhythm of feeding my niece only during the day, so that they both get a decent amount of sleep during the night. Mind you, she feeds her with the bottle - she gave up breastfeeding quite quickly, which I always thought was a shame; but then there are upsides and downsides to both approaches, especially if the husband isn't providing much support. My brother is a very supportive husband, and a very good father, both in seeing to practical matters and also in giving his wife emotional support.
Kids love rhythm, I know that much. It supposedly gives them a feeling of security, of safety - they feel protected by it, as if by an invisible force field or something; it gives them a sense of well-being. That's why nursery rhymes are so appealing to them, and songs, because of the rhythm of the repeated rhymes and the flowing back and forth of the lines. Music and painting and all that as well, like I mentioned before - they create a kind of air that children are happiest breathing.
I can't help but think the bottom line is that you need to think more about yourself. I don't think any child would benefit from having a completely selfless mother; quite the opposite, in fact. My own mother has always been too selfless where I'm concerned, and I grew up feeling too attached to her, like I couldn't exist anywhere except by her side. I think she maybe realises now that she should have held herself back a bit more, found the balance.
Is your son's feeding sporadic? Or have you managed to guide him into a rhythm of feeding at set times? My sister-in-law has gotten into a rhythm of feeding my niece only during the day, so that they both get a decent amount of sleep during the night. Mind you, she feeds her with the bottle - she gave up breastfeeding quite quickly, which I always thought was a shame; but then there are upsides and downsides to both approaches, especially if the husband isn't providing much support. My brother is a very supportive husband, and a very good father, both in seeing to practical matters and also in giving his wife emotional support.
Kids love rhythm, I know that much. It supposedly gives them a feeling of security, of safety - they feel protected by it, as if by an invisible force field or something; it gives them a sense of well-being. That's why nursery rhymes are so appealing to them, and songs, because of the rhythm of the repeated rhymes and the flowing back and forth of the lines. Music and painting and all that as well, like I mentioned before - they create a kind of air that children are happiest breathing.
I can't help but think the bottom line is that you need to think more about yourself. I don't think any child would benefit from having a completely selfless mother; quite the opposite, in fact. My own mother has always been too selfless where I'm concerned, and I grew up feeling too attached to her, like I couldn't exist anywhere except by her side. I think she maybe realises now that she should have held herself back a bit more, found the balance.