there is a difference between sadness and depression.
did you know that?
and if you did, why dinddt you tell me before now???
its something i think i learned tonight. well, something ive always known inside, but never realy realized. and i learned it wathcing tv. how crazy is that? i was watching some kind of monster, the metallica documentary, on vh1. so what, i...
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did you know that?
and if you did, why dinddt you tell me before now???
its something i think i learned tonight. well, something ive always known inside, but never realy realized. and i learned it wathcing tv. how crazy is that? i was watching some kind of monster, the metallica documentary, on vh1. so what, i...
Read More
well, ive been feeling pretty good the last few days
doctor hasnt called me back about my bloodwork, so im hoping thats a good thing
id really like to be better, get my stamina back up and get my ass back to being a real person again
im hoping that next time i update, itll be all good stuff, i dont wanna use sg as...
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doctor hasnt called me back about my bloodwork, so im hoping thats a good thing
id really like to be better, get my stamina back up and get my ass back to being a real person again
im hoping that next time i update, itll be all good stuff, i dont wanna use sg as...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
vera22:
don't push too quickly tho, your body will heal itself and get your strength back! hope you feel better!
belladea:
Yeah... I quote Dave Chappelle like everyone else. WHUT? YEAUH!
See... you don't like those question things cuz you're not a loser. I am. Soy un perdador.
I vent the hell outta this place. Fuck everybody. If they don't like it, they can read something else.
Grrrrrr...
hehe... I love anger. It's fun. That's what I tell myself anyway.
I got real fuckin' sick o' being sick after just a few days of it. I'd be bonkers if I were sick as long as you have been. I'm a wife, man... I'm not allowed to be sick. Wives can't get sick.
"the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"
God... that's so me.
See... you don't like those question things cuz you're not a loser. I am. Soy un perdador.
I vent the hell outta this place. Fuck everybody. If they don't like it, they can read something else.
Grrrrrr...
hehe... I love anger. It's fun. That's what I tell myself anyway.
I got real fuckin' sick o' being sick after just a few days of it. I'd be bonkers if I were sick as long as you have been. I'm a wife, man... I'm not allowed to be sick. Wives can't get sick.
"the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"
God... that's so me.
guess its time to update
ive been feeling mostly better, still worn down, but overall, things seem to be improving. my doctor wants to see me tomorrow, just to make sure theres nothing else compounding the mono and to check on my progress. im hoping it goes well.
it looks like moving out of the apartment and back home is a go now. my roomate...
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ive been feeling mostly better, still worn down, but overall, things seem to be improving. my doctor wants to see me tomorrow, just to make sure theres nothing else compounding the mono and to check on my progress. im hoping it goes well.
it looks like moving out of the apartment and back home is a go now. my roomate...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
belladea:
Glad you liked the Monica pix. How could you not, right? 
belladea:
What do you think?
guess its time to update
ive been feeling mostly better, still worn down, but overall, things seem to be improving. my doctor wants to see me tomorrow, just to make sure theres nothing else compounding the mono and to check on my progress. im hoping it goes well.
it looks like moving out of the apartment and back home is a go now. my roomate...
Read More
ive been feeling mostly better, still worn down, but overall, things seem to be improving. my doctor wants to see me tomorrow, just to make sure theres nothing else compounding the mono and to check on my progress. im hoping it goes well.
it looks like moving out of the apartment and back home is a go now. my roomate...
Read More
well, im feeling mostly better
i think im just gonig stir crazy
ive left my apartment like three times in the last two weeks
i just need to get better and get back to work.
ive also been suffering from a lack of sleep i think
of course im tired all the time,
but my slepe pattern is so messed up
that it doesnt feel...
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i think im just gonig stir crazy
ive left my apartment like three times in the last two weeks
i just need to get better and get back to work.
ive also been suffering from a lack of sleep i think
of course im tired all the time,
but my slepe pattern is so messed up
that it doesnt feel...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sophie:
i know, WEIRD, right? i don't know how i got so lucky, but thank you for being there and cheering me on. virtually.
godiva666:
Yes.... likewise.... *hugs*
ever heard ths silverchair album 'diorama'?
its a total masterpiece, big and bombastic
its beautiful
and its what ive been listening to all day
its kind of a melancholy album
but that suits my mood today
its just one of those days where ya feel.... whatever
ive forgotten how to express myself
ive forgotten how to write a paragraph
i dont know what to d...
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its a total masterpiece, big and bombastic
its beautiful
and its what ive been listening to all day
its kind of a melancholy album
but that suits my mood today
its just one of those days where ya feel.... whatever
ive forgotten how to express myself
ive forgotten how to write a paragraph
i dont know what to d...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lixy:
Yes! so go get one and be my friend!
XOXXX
XOXXX
lixy:
Nothings ever enough for me 
XOXXX
XOXXX
help me out kids
i need new music
gimme songs and stuff
help help help
i need new music
gimme songs and stuff
help help help
belladea:
I'm still stuck on My Sweet Prince by Placebo. And Pure Morning. It's not new, though. I don't have money for new stuff. In fact, most of what I listen to is a few hundred years old.
so, as it turns out, i am not dead
mono just decided to knock my ass around again for another week
grrrrr
everytime i think im getting better
i get thrown to the couch for a week with a super high fever
damn near like strep
i had to go to the ER this timecuz my fever was so high and i was completely dehydrated...
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mono just decided to knock my ass around again for another week
grrrrr
everytime i think im getting better
i get thrown to the couch for a week with a super high fever
damn near like strep
i had to go to the ER this timecuz my fever was so high and i was completely dehydrated...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
belladea:
Don't be sorry about it. Three copies of the same journal entry are not an offense.
I had a feeling you were in the hospital. Cuz I'm a pessimist and I'm usually right.
Maybe you should play nice. Its entirely up to you, though. I always try to play nice unless I am directly insulted. In that case, Im an utter bitch or I cry, but only if I love you. As you know, I have no middle ground. Well, there is apathy. Is that in the middle?
If someone insulted me in someone else's journal, I'd never know it cuz I don't usually read what other people write. I don't feel it's any of my concern... and I'm too lazy to put out the effort.
I had a feeling you were in the hospital. Cuz I'm a pessimist and I'm usually right.
Maybe you should play nice. Its entirely up to you, though. I always try to play nice unless I am directly insulted. In that case, Im an utter bitch or I cry, but only if I love you. As you know, I have no middle ground. Well, there is apathy. Is that in the middle?
If someone insulted me in someone else's journal, I'd never know it cuz I don't usually read what other people write. I don't feel it's any of my concern... and I'm too lazy to put out the effort.
belladea:
Come look at my box!
so, as it turns out, i am not dead
mono just decided to knock my ass around again for another week
grrrrr
everytime i think im getting better
i get thrown to the couch for a week with a super high fever
damn dear like strep
i had to go to the ER this timecuz my fever was so high and i was completely dehydrated...
Read More
mono just decided to knock my ass around again for another week
grrrrr
everytime i think im getting better
i get thrown to the couch for a week with a super high fever
damn dear like strep
i had to go to the ER this timecuz my fever was so high and i was completely dehydrated...
Read More
so, as it turns out, i am not dead
mono just decided to knock my ass saound again for another week
grrrrr
everytime i think im getting better
i get thrown to the couch for a week with a super high fever
damn dear like strep
i had to go to the ER this timecuz my fever was so high and i was completely dehydrated...
Read More
mono just decided to knock my ass saound again for another week
grrrrr
everytime i think im getting better
i get thrown to the couch for a week with a super high fever
damn dear like strep
i had to go to the ER this timecuz my fever was so high and i was completely dehydrated...
Read More
it wont give up it wants me dead goddamn this noise inside my head
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
devil_bitch:
Broken bruised forgotten sore too fucked up to care anymore
belladea:
Yes... I have a lot of noise in my head. So much that it is a struggle to hear what I am really thinking about. And even when I do hear it, something else usually pushes it out of focus.
Sickness is a bitch.
Sickness is a bitch.
much like the loverly geneveive, it is time for me to buy a new computer
while i am not able to afford a new G5 tower
i am left with two options
help me pick
option 1
iMac G5 17"
1GB DDR400 SDRAM - 1 DIMM
250GB Serial ATA drive
SuperDrive (DVD+R DL/DVD+RW/CD-RW)
Keyboard and Mouse + Mac OS X - U.S. English
56Kbps...
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while i am not able to afford a new G5 tower
i am left with two options
help me pick
option 1
iMac G5 17"
1GB DDR400 SDRAM - 1 DIMM
250GB Serial ATA drive
SuperDrive (DVD+R DL/DVD+RW/CD-RW)
Keyboard and Mouse + Mac OS X - U.S. English
56Kbps...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
belladea:
hehehe! 
shambles:
hehe I don't need cigs anymore hehe
Wheres your store?? I may stop by somtime and say hello
Wheres your store?? I may stop by somtime and say hello
And personally, I think its pretty sad that you like Metallica. That really depresses me.
Im reeeeeally sleepy. Ive been up for like 25 hours and I only had two hours of sleep before that. Im seeing fireflies and solid objects are bubbling. I should probably take a nap before I spout another 12 paragraphs about absolutely nothing.
I really do hate Metallica with a vengeance, though. If I ever meet Lars, Im gonna spit on him. Oh yeah I will. Tiny-nosed little fucker.
P.S. Hello, helloWhat do you do?... Youre a plumber What on eaaarth is that?
And fuck yeah, I'm weird. I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no point in trying to be anything else cuz it just ain't gonna happen. I don't think I could be normal if I tried. I detest the normal anyway. I do love Mello Yello, however. And pretty cups.
Hehehe... I love me.
I am developing a huge crush on somebody. I don't need to be doing that. He whees my belly a little. But Shhhh... seriously. God... I'm such a kid. I'll never grow up, will I? For one thing, I still say "whees my belly." A good phrase is a good phrase. No point in dropping it just cuz I'm old. Wheeeeee!
My parrot said "you're weird" cuz I say that to him all the time. He said it for the first time today. He also say's "Che Bello!" I'm rather proud of that one.
Vast is awesome!
I've had way too much caffeine. I've gotta stop that. I just love Mello Yello so much. YUM!
I'm gonna go bug someone else now. Bye.