mood: Pissed
music: Garbage - 'Happy when it Rains'
So I had one of my friends on the inside find out what my tests in the army said about me.
I honestly didn't think I took enough tests for this to happen: They think I'm REALLY fucking smart...which is also what a bunch of those emode tests said.
It's fucked up. Years ago I SWEAR I was a lot smarter. I mean: Hello, it was before the drugs! But back then my IQ was just a bit above average. Now it's a lot more than a little above.
Fuck. If the army knows how smart I am then I have no edge. NO EDGE!!!
I can't live without an edge! This so isn't good...
They assess me to be very smart, very strong, and I'm going in with a degree. If I have any sense of intuition then I have a feeling about where this is going: Field Commander.
Which could be cool actually. Could be real fucking cool. It'd be like being as close to fighting as possible without actually having to fire a gun in most cases. One thing seems to be pretty for sure: I'll be a fighter, as opposed to a worker. It's not totally for sure, but it looks very fucking likely.
But I dunno. 2 years of physical training, possible combat, and no computer is like probably the perfect thing for me right now.
I'm so damn conflicted about this shit except on one point: I will wear that uniform.
BTW, that's what my SB set will be: Me in uniform and gun down to just me and gun.
Questions:
1.What was the most fullfilling moment of your life?
2.What do you want to have accomplished before you die?
3.How long consecutively have you made out with someone?
4.Who are your heros?
5.Is there any famouss person you hate and would prefer to get killed in a car accident or something?
6.What is your idea of heaven?
7.If you beleive in God, how do you visualize her?
8.Have you ever been completely by yourself and felt totally free in that moment?
9.Who killed Kennedy?
10.Do you think that AI's will exist?
11.Have you ever written a song? A poem? A story?
12.Is there anything you would die for?
13.Do you beleive in Karma?
14.What time period would you want to live within, ideally?
music: Garbage - 'Happy when it Rains'
So I had one of my friends on the inside find out what my tests in the army said about me.
I honestly didn't think I took enough tests for this to happen: They think I'm REALLY fucking smart...which is also what a bunch of those emode tests said.
It's fucked up. Years ago I SWEAR I was a lot smarter. I mean: Hello, it was before the drugs! But back then my IQ was just a bit above average. Now it's a lot more than a little above.
Fuck. If the army knows how smart I am then I have no edge. NO EDGE!!!
I can't live without an edge! This so isn't good...
They assess me to be very smart, very strong, and I'm going in with a degree. If I have any sense of intuition then I have a feeling about where this is going: Field Commander.
Which could be cool actually. Could be real fucking cool. It'd be like being as close to fighting as possible without actually having to fire a gun in most cases. One thing seems to be pretty for sure: I'll be a fighter, as opposed to a worker. It's not totally for sure, but it looks very fucking likely.
But I dunno. 2 years of physical training, possible combat, and no computer is like probably the perfect thing for me right now.
I'm so damn conflicted about this shit except on one point: I will wear that uniform.
BTW, that's what my SB set will be: Me in uniform and gun down to just me and gun.
Questions:
1.What was the most fullfilling moment of your life?
2.What do you want to have accomplished before you die?
3.How long consecutively have you made out with someone?
4.Who are your heros?
5.Is there any famouss person you hate and would prefer to get killed in a car accident or something?
6.What is your idea of heaven?
7.If you beleive in God, how do you visualize her?
8.Have you ever been completely by yourself and felt totally free in that moment?
9.Who killed Kennedy?
10.Do you think that AI's will exist?
11.Have you ever written a song? A poem? A story?
12.Is there anything you would die for?
13.Do you beleive in Karma?
14.What time period would you want to live within, ideally?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
2. To finish my book, finish the army, and see my great-grandfather at least one more time.
3. 4 hours without coming up for air.
4. Asimov, Einstein, Di Vinci, and Rand
5. Shit...almoost any given Actress or Actor
6. Redoing this life until I live every day exactly the way I want to.
7. Sitting at her linux box, running Reason, making a track with a half-headphon up to one ear and a joint in the other hand. Smiling. Kinda like how I visualize Asha, only with ethereal glow.
8. Yes, and god is it a good feeling.
9. God
10. I'm 99% sure that they already do.
11. Yes, all of them.
12. World Peace.
13. Yes.
14. hmm...ideally? I'll take RIGHT FUCKING NOW for 500 Alex.
Ok guess I will give the questions a shot.
1. Watching my daughter's birth.
2. Finding and holding on to true love.
3. Not long enough
4. Socrates, Da Vinci, Robin Hobb, Jhonen Vasquez, Neal Gaimen, Joseph Norio Uemura, & Too many musicians to name.
5. Almost every ex-boyfriend of any of my 3 sisters, the guys who robbed me at gunpoint and on some days...... this is gonna sound bad....... but you have no idea...... my mother.
6. A life where I am free to love who i want without having to worry about hurting people I care about.
7. My inability/refusal to conceptualize god is the only thing that allows me to believe. God exists. Any attempts to further define god's existance interferes with my spirituality.
8. Yes I feel it all the time. I only feel imprisoned and lonely around other people.
9. Doesn't matter.
10. yes
11. no songs, many, many poems, several stories and 1/2 a novel.
12. My daughter. Anything else is tricky. The concept of world peace scares me. I can see that happening and a very scary society developing where people are routinely oppresses but no one ever fights back. As Bob Marley "I don't want no peace without Justice"
13. No, But I wish it existed.
14. I guess now, but I would choose to be born in the early 80's. I seem to be more in tune with that generation than with my own. Besides I would like to be closer in age to my ex best friend Jen and to some of my favorites on this site Benni, Ash, Bracket and Delusion who is not a suicide girl but certainly should be.
[Edited on May 05, 2004 11:20PM]