So a few blogs ago I mentioned that it's important to be supportive of people, to give them encouragement when they need it and to realize that everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. This blog is about the opposite side of that.
I have a friend. She is a nice friend, and at one point I was into her. Anyway, we used to hang out and go to dinner and see movies and stuff like that. She was always down on herself about how she looked or what she was doing with her life, and I was always supportive and complimented her. Then, after a while, I noticed something. When things were going wrong in life or she was feeling down, she would always want to hang out. When things were going great, she was unavailable, and if anyone tried to talk about their problems she would lose interest quickly or try to change the subject.
I realized we (her friends) weren't a support group, we were a crutch. Something she would lean back on when she was down, but abandon when things were going good. So, I stopped giving her compliments. Now, I'm not saying I was rude to her, but when she was fishing for one I would leave her dangling. If she wanted to talk about her problems, I would listen for a bit and then I would try to talk about something else.
Eventually, she wised up and started being more of a real friend, asking others how they were doing and being more confident in herself and not so needy. Granted, she was also young and that may have had a lot to do with it (you start out life pretty selfish, usually, and become more open as you get older), but still...don't ever let someone use you as their support system, if they aren't willing to give out the same. Just my two cents worth.