Today is not a good day, not thinking has its advantages but suddenly, now and then, the reality appears and tears another hole in me. I spend all my time wanting to see her, then when I do it is just more sadness but sadness I am greatful for. I feel like a primitive man presented with a natural disaster - without understanding how can it not be seen as a curse from the gods. Moving out will help, I suppose, but it will not make me happy, just more numb. I should go to lunch, I'm doing nothing more than brooding at the moment. Food just doesn't seem appetising. Especially not a tuna and sweet corn sandwich.
All I have right now is that every thing was perfect, then it ended. What am I supposed to do with that. Who was it at the Ceilidh that could make her think we should part, why? I have left behind the idea that it is come one else, she has convinced me about that, but then the only reasonable conclusion (I understand a reasonable conclusion is not the truth) I can draw right now is that she has decided she is gay I have much paranoia. What else can cause this. Or does love just fade.
When I got home last night she was taking all her music off my computer.
All I have right now is that every thing was perfect, then it ended. What am I supposed to do with that. Who was it at the Ceilidh that could make her think we should part, why? I have left behind the idea that it is come one else, she has convinced me about that, but then the only reasonable conclusion (I understand a reasonable conclusion is not the truth) I can draw right now is that she has decided she is gay I have much paranoia. What else can cause this. Or does love just fade.
When I got home last night she was taking all her music off my computer.