rainbing

My dear lover,

You asked me a difficult question this evening. You ask why I started working - honestly. That's a hard question to be honest about. I mean, how many of us are really honest about ourselves? Can we even begin to see ourselves objectively?

Dunno, but I'll give it my best shot. At a minimum, I'll not intentionally be dishonest...is that fair?

I assume your not looking for the details on my first client. I assume you curious as to my motivation to fuck women for money.

I think my perspective has changed, or is changing, since I stopped working.

When I first started, it was because I honestly thought I was doing something good for a 'fuck buddy'. Her life seemed to have been enhanced for having my dick in her and my tongue on her clit. She indicated there were others that could similarly benefit, and would compensate me.

So, in sum, I honeslty thought I was helping women find something important about their sexuality. In my view, how a human being views themselves as sexual beings means so much to their self esteem, their confidence..it's just so tied together. And, if I could help women feel good, or at least better, about themselves sexually then maybe that was a good thing.

So, that's why I started.

Did everything work out like that? No, not by a long shot. Some I assume went about their lives having been better for the experience(s). But in retrospect, maybe not so much.

Who knows. Maybe I'll go back soon. I get calls every day. Former clients, new clients, offering me more money, trips - whatever.

Maybe someday I'll also figure out what this has all cost me. I was fairly screwed up before all this. Who knows what I am, now.

Did that answer your question? If not, please ask again and I'll try to answer better.