Thanks to all who sent me good energy. I appreciated the rseponse and feedback.
Still out of the business, but I'm still getting calls from old and prospective clients. It makes me feel guilty to turn these women away, but it has all just gotten so complicated.
So, a quick question. One request I almost never got was for me to cum on a woman....
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Still out of the business, but I'm still getting calls from old and prospective clients. It makes me feel guilty to turn these women away, but it has all just gotten so complicated.
So, a quick question. One request I almost never got was for me to cum on a woman....
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Greetings to my SG friends.
This is my first post in quite a while. I started writing about my life and experiences because I thought it would help some people - help women understand their sexuality and deal with some of their insecurities, and help men become better lovers, husbands and boyfriends.
I suppose there's been some positives to come out of this, but in...
Read More
This is my first post in quite a while. I started writing about my life and experiences because I thought it would help some people - help women understand their sexuality and deal with some of their insecurities, and help men become better lovers, husbands and boyfriends.
I suppose there's been some positives to come out of this, but in...
Read More
jaytan:
Bummer to hear that you're taking bad vibes. I never noticed anything in your journals that would justify it. I assure you, the journals have been insightful and encouraging to me that my approach to women, as a guy who strives to act like a polite, mature man that doesn't force, manipulate, or bully women, is the right way to go. There are positives.
And the Beautiful Agony site is pretty damn cool too.
And the Beautiful Agony site is pretty damn cool too.
highresolution:
Don't let it upset you, although it will.
With any type of sex work, those that are good at it not only learn physical skill and technique, but more importantly, become amazing self taught psychologists of human sexual behavior, thought and impulses. And sexual behavior is tied often to every facet of a humans development, nature and social context.
Women don't get threatened mainly by my looks and body and sexual presence (although it happens a fair bit) it's the fact that they innately pick up on my ability to grasp male psychology and apply it. I understand men. I empathise and change my behavior accordingly to please them. As do you, and that is why you are successfull.
I've always said everyone is capable of being the most amazing lover their partner has ever had, because they have had the time to explore and enrich and encourage the growth of each others sexuality and desires. An amazing lover is someone who can provide that experience to every woman, every man they touch. I believe there basically a large collection of sexual "types" both psyiscally, mentally and socially/emotionally formed. You can pick out those types instantly, and after a in depth conversation, exploration of body and soul adapt yourself knowingly to provide pleasure.
This ability is something that can only be learned from having a lot of lovers, something that is still socially taboo for women and slightly frowned upon, and hypocritically praised in men.
I always had a strange wonder about prostitutes. Did they get inducted into this secret world of arcane sexual tricks and magic. I've learned that the best prostitutes are not the most beautiful, the most intelligent nor the most friendly, mainly those that understand the male sexual psyche.
People, when they see this reflected in journals, that their quest for sexual prowess in which they have nievely based on physical mastery, feel let down. They've been chasing a different path, but not the one that will get them to the extremes they desire.
But anyhow, I'm rambling but the fact is this can only be gained by interacting with a large volume and variety of men and women.
I've had multitudes of partners. I could not understand, and I still have so much to learn but my understanding of the sexual psyche could not have been gained by that large exposure.
So for someone to truly understand this knowledge if they desire, means going against social taboos. Many people do not have that courage. Many people are frightened (especially women) that they will loose a part of themselves in that journey.
I lost a part of myself, but perhaps I have gained more. I am not sure.
I just sometimes wish I had the opportunity to explore at a lengthier way, my only fear is that in learning to fuck with haste, I have lost or delayed my current ability to true pleasure.
People are just afraid of the power this gives you. They are afraid of following the same path to find the same knowledge. Unfortunately until society removes all taboo from sexual exploration and freedom, your/our/my path and choices are too hard to follow.
Please don't leave.
I wish you were closer and I wasn't committed to someone, regardless I'd like to keep in touch with you. There will be some day I'd like to avail myself of your services.
I'm a tad frightened of that thought though. Funnily enough, my knowledge and power and confidence flys out the window when I'm under pressure, emotionally involved or someone has seen me this mentally vulnerable.
Take care xoxo.
With any type of sex work, those that are good at it not only learn physical skill and technique, but more importantly, become amazing self taught psychologists of human sexual behavior, thought and impulses. And sexual behavior is tied often to every facet of a humans development, nature and social context.
Women don't get threatened mainly by my looks and body and sexual presence (although it happens a fair bit) it's the fact that they innately pick up on my ability to grasp male psychology and apply it. I understand men. I empathise and change my behavior accordingly to please them. As do you, and that is why you are successfull.
I've always said everyone is capable of being the most amazing lover their partner has ever had, because they have had the time to explore and enrich and encourage the growth of each others sexuality and desires. An amazing lover is someone who can provide that experience to every woman, every man they touch. I believe there basically a large collection of sexual "types" both psyiscally, mentally and socially/emotionally formed. You can pick out those types instantly, and after a in depth conversation, exploration of body and soul adapt yourself knowingly to provide pleasure.
This ability is something that can only be learned from having a lot of lovers, something that is still socially taboo for women and slightly frowned upon, and hypocritically praised in men.
I always had a strange wonder about prostitutes. Did they get inducted into this secret world of arcane sexual tricks and magic. I've learned that the best prostitutes are not the most beautiful, the most intelligent nor the most friendly, mainly those that understand the male sexual psyche.
People, when they see this reflected in journals, that their quest for sexual prowess in which they have nievely based on physical mastery, feel let down. They've been chasing a different path, but not the one that will get them to the extremes they desire.
But anyhow, I'm rambling but the fact is this can only be gained by interacting with a large volume and variety of men and women.
I've had multitudes of partners. I could not understand, and I still have so much to learn but my understanding of the sexual psyche could not have been gained by that large exposure.
So for someone to truly understand this knowledge if they desire, means going against social taboos. Many people do not have that courage. Many people are frightened (especially women) that they will loose a part of themselves in that journey.
I lost a part of myself, but perhaps I have gained more. I am not sure.
I just sometimes wish I had the opportunity to explore at a lengthier way, my only fear is that in learning to fuck with haste, I have lost or delayed my current ability to true pleasure.
People are just afraid of the power this gives you. They are afraid of following the same path to find the same knowledge. Unfortunately until society removes all taboo from sexual exploration and freedom, your/our/my path and choices are too hard to follow.
Please don't leave.
I wish you were closer and I wasn't committed to someone, regardless I'd like to keep in touch with you. There will be some day I'd like to avail myself of your services.
I'm a tad frightened of that thought though. Funnily enough, my knowledge and power and confidence flys out the window when I'm under pressure, emotionally involved or someone has seen me this mentally vulnerable.
Take care xoxo.
Sorry I've been such a bitch about updating this. Life has been a motherfucker these past few weeks.
I had an interesting date last night. It was a first time client, a lovely woman. Very, very thick red hair, cute freckles. Her husband is an animator for Pixar, and loves his work. I mean, he LOVES his work. They both refer to it sarcastically as...
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I had an interesting date last night. It was a first time client, a lovely woman. Very, very thick red hair, cute freckles. Her husband is an animator for Pixar, and loves his work. I mean, he LOVES his work. They both refer to it sarcastically as...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
hellomrworld:
i would think some lube would really really help ... i am bigger then that and it makes a big difference
Time to tell the tale of my trust-fund client.
She literally has a trust fund. She doesn't have to work, but chooses to, partly to keep herself busy, but partly because her father would be upset if he thought she were loafing on the back of his decades of hard work. blah blah blah.
She has no children, and divorced a few years ago. Absolute...
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She literally has a trust fund. She doesn't have to work, but chooses to, partly to keep herself busy, but partly because her father would be upset if he thought she were loafing on the back of his decades of hard work. blah blah blah.
She has no children, and divorced a few years ago. Absolute...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
lily:
Lots of love from me to you.
morningbloom:
You have quite a way with words and describing people.
I've decided that the easist thing for me to do is to just describe my clients, our visits, and their unique situations. Hopefully that will provide insight into 'why women would do this'....
To that end, I have a client I saw last night. She is a late-middle aged woman, about 40. She is very beautiful, long thick dark hair, very fair skinned. She would...
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To that end, I have a client I saw last night. She is a late-middle aged woman, about 40. She is very beautiful, long thick dark hair, very fair skinned. She would...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
norritt:
i need to apply for that job 
benci:
you don't by any chance offer classes to men like the one you described here, do you?
happy holidays, btw.
happy holidays, btw.
Why women hire me
It's probably easier to draw a few distinctions. There are different types of whores, male and female. Roughly, they fall into a couple of categories.
First, there are those that do truly anonymous fucking. There is no raport or connection - it's just fucking. These are mostly the people standing on corners. While you may come find the same girl or...
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It's probably easier to draw a few distinctions. There are different types of whores, male and female. Roughly, they fall into a couple of categories.
First, there are those that do truly anonymous fucking. There is no raport or connection - it's just fucking. These are mostly the people standing on corners. While you may come find the same girl or...
Read More
jenya:
i for one, appreciate your candor. i find all this quite interesting.
thank you for sharing this with us
thank you for sharing this with us
lily:
Yeah, Its suprising who is judgemental about this. I love reading your journals. I think you need to write a book. I'd buy it.
And I really hate the false perception that people may have about clients. I've had some of the most attractive. intelligent, and interesting clients both male and female, Not to say that they were all beautiful and amazing but There is this like common perception that anyone who has to pay for anything sexual is incapable of this on their own. If everyone really knew how common it is, it wouldn't be so stigmatized and demonized and i think it would really help out with the "Guilt issue" I have seen in certain clients. Sometimes i feel like its trying to persuade a teenager that masturbation is okay. anyway I guess i had alot to say about that. I'm still around, same place.
And I really hate the false perception that people may have about clients. I've had some of the most attractive. intelligent, and interesting clients both male and female, Not to say that they were all beautiful and amazing but There is this like common perception that anyone who has to pay for anything sexual is incapable of this on their own. If everyone really knew how common it is, it wouldn't be so stigmatized and demonized and i think it would really help out with the "Guilt issue" I have seen in certain clients. Sometimes i feel like its trying to persuade a teenager that masturbation is okay. anyway I guess i had alot to say about that. I'm still around, same place.
I need your help
I was chatting with one of my favorite SGs earlier, and was asking her what I should be writing about. Should I be giving tips or lessongs? Telling stories? Describing the emotional or psychologies issues of my clients? Relating my own fucked-up-ness?
Her response is that she's fascinated that women out there are interested in paying for sex - so the...
Read More
I was chatting with one of my favorite SGs earlier, and was asking her what I should be writing about. Should I be giving tips or lessongs? Telling stories? Describing the emotional or psychologies issues of my clients? Relating my own fucked-up-ness?
Her response is that she's fascinated that women out there are interested in paying for sex - so the...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
liante:
I'm just interested in reading whatever you have to write about. The choice of topics says as much about the writer as the stories themselves. 
As for the math analogy -- yes, I think that's accurate, with the minor note that math is unfailingly logical and the law, on occasion, is not. It should be. But it's not, at least not always.
I have an unofficial specialty and hope to confirm that upon graduation. And if that seems evasive, it's intentionally so.
As for the math analogy -- yes, I think that's accurate, with the minor note that math is unfailingly logical and the law, on occasion, is not. It should be. But it's not, at least not always.
I have an unofficial specialty and hope to confirm that upon graduation. And if that seems evasive, it's intentionally so.
jordan:
hey, weren't u on my friends list?? hmm, anyway, did you read "demonic"? how was yur trip?
Knives are FUN
I had a longish term client ask for something unusual. She's a pretty vanilla girl, so I wanted to do something for her that she'd remember. Danger = excitement which can really enhance things.
So, she came to the hotel, and I already had candles and music going. We took a long hot bubble bath, and I got her mildly drunk on...
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I had a longish term client ask for something unusual. She's a pretty vanilla girl, so I wanted to do something for her that she'd remember. Danger = excitement which can really enhance things.
So, she came to the hotel, and I already had candles and music going. We took a long hot bubble bath, and I got her mildly drunk on...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
lily:
What did i swallow? A bunch of bad dreams and alcahol. Not really a big deal, just a crazy dream inside a dream.
Lil
Lil
benci:
fight club is one of my favorite movies but...yikes, good point! i'm not bad, how're you? busy as usual, i assume!
Well, I just found out that my pretty Irish client went back to Ireland. I don't know if it's a temporary thing or if it's permanent. But she left the next day out of nowhere.
This is not common, but it's happened before. I mentioned that I have to be careful sometimes. When you find out what works for someone, and if no one ever...
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This is not common, but it's happened before. I mentioned that I have to be careful sometimes. When you find out what works for someone, and if no one ever...
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khoos:
I don't believe you do more harm than good. If you are really concerned about that though, why don't you do something to educate the male population so they do not leave their partners unfulfilled? Write a book? Host a class?
Perhaps it would undermine your current occupation a little - but I'm sure it would be more lucrative in the long run...
On another note we should talk, I have a few questions for you...
Perhaps it would undermine your current occupation a little - but I'm sure it would be more lucrative in the long run...
On another note we should talk, I have a few questions for you...
fred:
That some line of work you have there.
So how do you apply for that?
Yeah, I could see how you could kind of ruin a woman in a way by that. It's funny, funny's not the right word, kind of sad that a woman ends up getting hurt in either position as servicee or servicer.
There could be much worse ways to hurt a person. And it's not intentional. Probably only a problem in certain cases.
That some line of work you have there.
So how do you apply for that?
Yeah, I could see how you could kind of ruin a woman in a way by that. It's funny, funny's not the right word, kind of sad that a woman ends up getting hurt in either position as servicee or servicer.
There could be much worse ways to hurt a person. And it's not intentional. Probably only a problem in certain cases.
You ever have one of those evenings where EVERYTHING comes together?
That was this evening. My flight into SFO was early, and that's the worst thign that happened!
I have to get up in a few hours and present on Agile Development Methodologies and the Services Oriented Architecture, so I have to be brief. I'll have a few minutes tomorrow to fill in the details....
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That was this evening. My flight into SFO was early, and that's the worst thign that happened!
I have to get up in a few hours and present on Agile Development Methodologies and the Services Oriented Architecture, so I have to be brief. I'll have a few minutes tomorrow to fill in the details....
Read More
khoos:
Beautiful! I want a night like that!
This Saturday my man and I actually have a day off TOGETHER. The plan is to stay in bed all day. And although it's not horribly romantic the plan for after we exhaust ourselves is Super Mario 3.
It will be a great weekend!
This Saturday my man and I actually have a day off TOGETHER. The plan is to stay in bed all day. And although it's not horribly romantic the plan for after we exhaust ourselves is Super Mario 3.
It will be a great weekend!
highresolution:
I think one day I'm going to fly you to australia and enlist your services.
Maybe you can be the one man that can make me come.
Because fuck it, probably around 350 have tried. And I'm still waiting.
Actually screw it. Where are you based?
[Edited on Dec 01, 2005 11:41AM]
Maybe you can be the one man that can make me come.
Because fuck it, probably around 350 have tried. And I'm still waiting.
Actually screw it. Where are you based?
[Edited on Dec 01, 2005 11:41AM]
First, a few non-work things:
I got my right sleeve worked on, and I could't be happier with how it's going. Man, I have a great artist.
I've been travelling a lot lately - more than usual even. In the past 2 weeks, I have flown over the Great Sand Dunes, Yosemite Valley, the Mississipppi River, the Grand Canyon, Lake Michigan and Chicago. And anyone...
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I got my right sleeve worked on, and I could't be happier with how it's going. Man, I have a great artist.
I've been travelling a lot lately - more than usual even. In the past 2 weeks, I have flown over the Great Sand Dunes, Yosemite Valley, the Mississipppi River, the Grand Canyon, Lake Michigan and Chicago. And anyone...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
neyrissa:
Dude, you do what you feel comfortable with. It's on your terms, right?
Speaking as a woman I have to say that it is a fantasy of mine to do that. But only with a willing partner. But I can see why they're asking you.
But if you don't want it, don't do it.
Speaking as a woman I have to say that it is a fantasy of mine to do that. But only with a willing partner. But I can see why they're asking you.
But if you don't want it, don't do it.
jenya:
i agree with Neyrissa.....
if you are asking what the deal is....
well, it's a fantasy of mine as well, one that my boy will indulge me in.
for me.......it's like "being a guy for a day"......i'd love to really have a penis sometimes, so this is the substitute.
plus it just feels like a 'turning of the tables'.....to be in what is normally thought as the 'dominant position'
but, yeh........., don't do it if you ain't comfy with it.!!!!!
if you are asking what the deal is....
well, it's a fantasy of mine as well, one that my boy will indulge me in.
for me.......it's like "being a guy for a day"......i'd love to really have a penis sometimes, so this is the substitute.
plus it just feels like a 'turning of the tables'.....to be in what is normally thought as the 'dominant position'
but, yeh........., don't do it if you ain't comfy with it.!!!!!
I've been deliberating a lot about what to comment on next. I'll talk more on the people I meet in my job, but I wanted to also pose a few questions. This came up as I was chatting with one of the most beautiful SGs (I'm so in love with her, she's on my friends list TWICE!)
Obviously alot of what I do is to...
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Obviously alot of what I do is to...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
lukebunny:
Your has become one of my favorite journals. In answer to the question. I have the fantasy myself, and have to agree, the extreme submissiveness is extremely hot. The reality of rape....not so much. At all. But therein lies the filth. I have been asked to act out this fantasy with a few partners in the past as well. I would say that it really isn't that uncommon at all. Intersting human psyche.
lily:
Hey, Go introduce yourself in the sex workers group and participate a little. You are already accepted and we are exited to have you.
Love, Lily
You are already accepted and we are exited to have you.
Love, Lily
honestly.