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pygmy

Member Since 2004

Followers 342 Following 187

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Friday Mar 30, 2007

Mar 30, 2007
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i'm a high school drop-out, i don't have a real job, i can't drive, and my house isn't spotless.

i'm through with feeling the slightest bit of guilt about any of these things.

i learned so much more by myself in the time i would have spent mindlessly answering a, b, c, d on multiple choice quizzes. i know i'm not the only one who wasn't challenged in school. i had a 3.98 gpa before i left and never studied for a test in my life, beyond just paying attention in class in the first place. and i've met incredibly smart people who've nonetheless struggled. the fact is formal schooling just doesn't work for some people. luckily i recognized myself as one of those people and got the hell out. i haven't regretted it. i don't regret not going to college either, because one of the foremost things i hate about academia is the vast separation of subjects... even just for practical reasons, any attempt at an interdisciplinary approach is superficial. that's incredibly limiting to me, and i think it would have taken me a long time to unlearn that underlying tendency. it's more than just the specialization factor: sure you can become highly specialized in several different areas (i.e. take multiple majors), but then be clueless as to how they all interact, how different disciplines coevolved, etc. i love how my knowledge and interests have grown organically, instead of linearly. i also enjoy the fact that i won't be paying off student loans for 20 years.
i love the fact that i can look at my bookshelf and see erich fromm next to heidegger next to krishnamurti next to native american ethnobotany next to rumi next to anthony braxton's forces in motion next to various books on biological anthropology or violin making or levain bread baking or rock hunting or midwifery or teach yourself swahili or russian history or jung or beekeeping or dadaism or political theory or astrophysics... i love that it's not circumscribed by a reading list.
if i'd gone the traditional route, i probably wouldn't be able to design and build a house, write a sonata and then turn around and play it on a number of instruments, gather a whole meal from the woods, treat a headache with acupressure and chiropractic adjustments, and brew a batch of mead, all in a days work at age 21. i might not even be obsessed with jackalopes, god forbid.

i'm glad i don't have a job. if i did, it'd put us in a different tax bracket, and in the most likely scenario, i'd essentially be paying the entirety of my salary to the IRS. i'm fucking elated i'm not giving my money to the federal government. that alone is reason enough for me. i love that i have the opportunity to grow 75% of our food, cook every meal from scratch, and bake bread every day. i can foster kittens and not have to leave them alone for 8 hours a day. i learn new things every day. i'm learning how to engrave so i can still make some money, under the table of course. i can sell my art occasionally. i'm learning practical skills that will be invaluable when we really need them in the future. i don't need a 9-5 job to "earn my keep" or to be a productive member of society and i'm not a slacker. i don't see how depending on my loving husband should be automatically any less empowering than being directly dependent on a boss and a corporation for a paycheck. i like the fact that we don't take more than we need. let someone else have whatever job i might have. i'm glad i don't have a concise answer when someone asks me "what do you do for a living?" i think in an ideal world no one should, because living is complex and messy.

i like the fact that i don't drive. i like the fact that i don't use gas needlessly. i like the fact that i walk where i need to go. i'm finally learning to drive so that when i really need to i can, but living for as long as i have without being able to means i won't take it for granted, i won't hop in the car to go a few blocks to the store.

i'm glad my house isn't spotless. if the carpet is a little dingy, it's because i didn't want to rent the steam cleaner and get a migraine because of the chemicals and fragrances. it means that a coffee ring on the table isn't my highest priority, and that's the way it should be.

that's it. i'm happy with how i live my life and i won't let myself feel at all ashamed anymore, because i shouldn't be.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
remuemenage:
wondering if you've ever heard of terra preta

I found out about it discussing the book 1491 about pre-Columbian America with my mother. apparently large tracts of land (acres) of this dark earth (terra preta) have been discovered in the Amazon. it is a combination of organic matter, manure, charcoal and pottery shards that is extremely rich and holds nutrients very well

the author of 1491 presents the intriguing theory that the Amazon was a carefully planted orchard
Apr 3, 2007
y:
I do like it - thanks! biggrin Reminds me of Beck's early acoustic stuff, and Mississippi John Hurt (specifically 'Make me a Pallet on the Floor').
Apr 4, 2007

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