I am so behind on reading peoples' journals.
I get into this problem of not being around for a few days and falling behind, and then there are so many to read that I put it off.
Of course, that just makes the problem worse.
Mind you, if I could be normal for a moment, I'd tell myself to not bother catching up, or at...
Read More
I get into this problem of not being around for a few days and falling behind, and then there are so many to read that I put it off.
Of course, that just makes the problem worse.
Mind you, if I could be normal for a moment, I'd tell myself to not bother catching up, or at...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 62 COMMENTS
Okay, this girl I like keeps complaining that my blog entries are too long, so I'm going to try to keep this one short.
I don't know what the problem is though - I only write an entry every few weeks, so it's not like it's a daily essay.
But, just this once, I'll try to impress her with a short entry.
Not even sure...
Read More
I don't know what the problem is though - I only write an entry every few weeks, so it's not like it's a daily essay.
But, just this once, I'll try to impress her with a short entry.
Not even sure...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 59 COMMENTS
khabiri:
Tee Hee! I remembered that I'd need to translate for non-brits 
How did your conference go? It sounded awesome- you always say you don't do much, but being involved in something like that is really important. It rocks!
I'm currently pondering tkaing the laptop to Berlin (I'm freaked about going alone as is, never mind with expensive things to loose/break/have stolen...) so I might be able to update from there...
I miss him (my boy). It is horrible not being able to do anything, but he knows I'mthere for him. I just get periods when I get really frutrated... <sigh>.... and it's not like he would mind if I did go off with someone to just do the fucking thing, but I would feel awful about it.
Complicated.
I just crave.... I think I crave the craving thing, you know? We have lots of good fun sex, but I want something more intense... Maybe it's the 9 year itch?
OMFG... I have known him for 9 years.... in July I will have been WITH him for 9 years....
I just freaked myself out
How did your conference go? It sounded awesome- you always say you don't do much, but being involved in something like that is really important. It rocks!
I'm currently pondering tkaing the laptop to Berlin (I'm freaked about going alone as is, never mind with expensive things to loose/break/have stolen...) so I might be able to update from there...
I miss him (my boy). It is horrible not being able to do anything, but he knows I'mthere for him. I just get periods when I get really frutrated... <sigh>.... and it's not like he would mind if I did go off with someone to just do the fucking thing, but I would feel awful about it.
Complicated.
I just crave.... I think I crave the craving thing, you know? We have lots of good fun sex, but I want something more intense... Maybe it's the 9 year itch?
OMFG... I have known him for 9 years.... in July I will have been WITH him for 9 years....
I just freaked myself out
pinkraindrops:
No, please do. I'm sorry I haven't been responding, I'm just spacey. I usually pop on to check what's going on thinking "I need to respond to people..."
You are one of the people I would like to keep in touch with, and I promise I'm better on Myspace!
You are one of the people I would like to keep in touch with, and I promise I'm better on Myspace!
I meant to post an entry last week, but then I went to a meeting out of town, and as soon as I came back, I got a cold.
Still have it, poor me.
Happy first anniversary to me for my membership at SG.
Hardly seems like a year.
I won't bore you with yet another description of how much I enjoy this place, suffice...
Read More
Still have it, poor me.
Happy first anniversary to me for my membership at SG.
Hardly seems like a year.
I won't bore you with yet another description of how much I enjoy this place, suffice...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 53 COMMENTS
adair:
"My name is Trevor, I am genuine."
That there is the single, most important thing not only in the ad, but in life. You are able to look at yourself without rose-tinted glasses on and still you allow yourself to just be you, and not only is that appreciated by all of your friends, it will be for a special lady.
Yeah I stay in Toronto during the week while I am at school simply because I don't drive and the bus routes are stupid. This year I probably could have managed it- especially during this semester, but I didn't know what my schedule was at the time that I had to make a decision, so I played it safe and decided to stay again.
That there is the single, most important thing not only in the ad, but in life. You are able to look at yourself without rose-tinted glasses on and still you allow yourself to just be you, and not only is that appreciated by all of your friends, it will be for a special lady.
Yeah I stay in Toronto during the week while I am at school simply because I don't drive and the bus routes are stupid. This year I probably could have managed it- especially during this semester, but I didn't know what my schedule was at the time that I had to make a decision, so I played it safe and decided to stay again.
lalayla:
Well...Im still feeling very depressed lately, but I have my habits more under control, and Im getting back up to speed in my school work.
My issue at the moment is jealousy. I dont know if you saw my post in the depression group, but I went on a little rant about being paranoid about my bf. I find out that he has a friend who is a girl and I freak out. I dont want to, but I do. Every moment that I dont know where he is, I worry he is with her. I dont even expect him to cheat on me, I just get very intimidated by other girls and honestly dont even want him around them if they are better than me in any way. I felt pretty confident and secure with myself for awhile until this came up and it crushed me. These are the kinds of things I dont tell my therapist but my goal is to tell her next week. I dont know if I will cause I dont want to cry, but I have to remind myself that shes seen plenty of people cry and her opinion of me doesnt even matter.
Oh and he has been going out with his friends a lot lately, something he never used to do. I complain that he never goes anywhere with me, and he AND one of his friends tell me I need to find some friends. Fuck you, right? I prefer only having a few good friends, and theyre all out of state right now. Im not going to make new friends in the meantime.
Oh, you had asked me why my sister is so unhappy. This is a long story that I will try to summarize. First of all, we come from a family with a history of depression and anxiety, and we both have had those problems most our lives. Our dad was a drug addict, very emotionally abusive. My sister lived with him much longer than i did. I wont get into that too much, but its important background info. Anyways, she gets married and has a kid at 19. He has autism. He is now seven, he doesnt speak, the public school system is crap and he is not getting the services he needs. His father was an asshole who was even worse than my dad in terms of emotional abuse, so my sister went through that whole thing again, they divorced, and he still tries to tell her how to raise their son (though he doesnt do it himself!). My sister has a billion things that overwhelm her each day, and mentally, she cant handle any of it. Shes depressed and she has panic disorder. that basically sums it up. Shes my best friend and it drives me insane that I cant fix her problems. I know that we think in the exact same way, so I know how she feels about everything that happens to her, and I have no idea how to help her. I also feel guilty because I have a much better life than her, not just because I didnt get married and have a baby, but our parents did better with me. I got all the opportunities in life that she did not.
My issue at the moment is jealousy. I dont know if you saw my post in the depression group, but I went on a little rant about being paranoid about my bf. I find out that he has a friend who is a girl and I freak out. I dont want to, but I do. Every moment that I dont know where he is, I worry he is with her. I dont even expect him to cheat on me, I just get very intimidated by other girls and honestly dont even want him around them if they are better than me in any way. I felt pretty confident and secure with myself for awhile until this came up and it crushed me. These are the kinds of things I dont tell my therapist but my goal is to tell her next week. I dont know if I will cause I dont want to cry, but I have to remind myself that shes seen plenty of people cry and her opinion of me doesnt even matter.
Oh and he has been going out with his friends a lot lately, something he never used to do. I complain that he never goes anywhere with me, and he AND one of his friends tell me I need to find some friends. Fuck you, right? I prefer only having a few good friends, and theyre all out of state right now. Im not going to make new friends in the meantime.
Oh, you had asked me why my sister is so unhappy. This is a long story that I will try to summarize. First of all, we come from a family with a history of depression and anxiety, and we both have had those problems most our lives. Our dad was a drug addict, very emotionally abusive. My sister lived with him much longer than i did. I wont get into that too much, but its important background info. Anyways, she gets married and has a kid at 19. He has autism. He is now seven, he doesnt speak, the public school system is crap and he is not getting the services he needs. His father was an asshole who was even worse than my dad in terms of emotional abuse, so my sister went through that whole thing again, they divorced, and he still tries to tell her how to raise their son (though he doesnt do it himself!). My sister has a billion things that overwhelm her each day, and mentally, she cant handle any of it. Shes depressed and she has panic disorder. that basically sums it up. Shes my best friend and it drives me insane that I cant fix her problems. I know that we think in the exact same way, so I know how she feels about everything that happens to her, and I have no idea how to help her. I also feel guilty because I have a much better life than her, not just because I didnt get married and have a baby, but our parents did better with me. I got all the opportunities in life that she did not.
How can medication for acid reflux cause it get considerably worse, instead of better?
I'll be asking my doctor that next week.
In other news, I had a spurt of activity lately with my volunteer activities.
I'm on the board of directors for a small non-profit mental health agency. We had to hire a new Administrative Assistant, and I was on the hiring committee.
Our...
Read More
I'll be asking my doctor that next week.
In other news, I had a spurt of activity lately with my volunteer activities.
I'm on the board of directors for a small non-profit mental health agency. We had to hire a new Administrative Assistant, and I was on the hiring committee.
Our...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 57 COMMENTS
brightredscream:
I should have new pictures very soon
khabiri:
ooooh. somone in the many many comments has probably already sent you to http://www.moo.com they make the cutest business cards from your own flickr pictures! I had some done of my italy trip, they rule check it out! There are loads of groups on flickr who send them all over the world and collect them, make art out of them. It is Tres cool!
K
check it out! There are loads of groups on flickr who send them all over the world and collect them, make art out of them. It is Tres cool!
K
Wow!
I haven't posted since before Christmas.
Don't worry - I'm fine.
I spent a few days at my mom's for Christmas, and then again for New Years.
As planned, I ate too much, especially rich foods and chocolate.
Watched a lot of DVD's.
Read a lot of newspapers.
I buy all the Toronto papers (Toronto Star, Toronto Sun, Globe and Mail, and National Post),...
Read More
I haven't posted since before Christmas.
Don't worry - I'm fine.
I spent a few days at my mom's for Christmas, and then again for New Years.
As planned, I ate too much, especially rich foods and chocolate.
Watched a lot of DVD's.
Read a lot of newspapers.
I buy all the Toronto papers (Toronto Star, Toronto Sun, Globe and Mail, and National Post),...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 53 COMMENTS
havilah:
No need to be worried, but thank you
milieu:
No, no more customers asking me to spank them, but last night a guy asked me to follow him to the bathroom and make sure he got there ok. The drunk crowd on Monday night are a unique group compared to those we get on the weekend.
I exist outside of work? wow. I am good overall, but very busy and I would like that to slow down a bit. The weather is shit.....just absolute hell.
Scrabble IS a sport in regards to the fact that you can compete in it and there are tournaments, awards, etc. BUT, it is not comparable to football, basketball, and the such.
It's great to hear from you! I wish I'd had the chance to respond sooner. How are you? How are things?
I exist outside of work? wow. I am good overall, but very busy and I would like that to slow down a bit. The weather is shit.....just absolute hell.
Scrabble IS a sport in regards to the fact that you can compete in it and there are tournaments, awards, etc. BUT, it is not comparable to football, basketball, and the such.
It's great to hear from you! I wish I'd had the chance to respond sooner. How are you? How are things?
Merry Christmas!
I really like Christmas.
I won't be around for a few days because I go to my mom's for Christmas.
She lives half a block from me, but she likes having me there for a couple days.
I'll rent some DVD's for us to watch.
We'll eat lots of chocolate and rich foods.
There's only two of us, so instead of a turkey,...
Read More
I really like Christmas.
I won't be around for a few days because I go to my mom's for Christmas.
She lives half a block from me, but she likes having me there for a couple days.
I'll rent some DVD's for us to watch.
We'll eat lots of chocolate and rich foods.
There's only two of us, so instead of a turkey,...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
michelle:
Nothing says I love you better than books and chocolate at Xmas time!
Happy new year to you friend!
Happy new year to you friend!
librarygirl:
Ok so I am a little worried cause I have not heard from you in forever! So email me k!
I have no idea what to talk about.
I'm feeling better these days.
Admitting that I was feeling more depressed than usual was a great bit of therapy in and of itself.
So I'm doing better.
Here's something.....
A couple weeks ago, the clerk at the post office asked me, "How much weight have you lost?"
I go to the post office about once a...
Read More
I'm feeling better these days.
Admitting that I was feeling more depressed than usual was a great bit of therapy in and of itself.
So I'm doing better.
Here's something.....
A couple weeks ago, the clerk at the post office asked me, "How much weight have you lost?"
I go to the post office about once a...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
lielock:
well I have done the cards and I decorated the tree last night to figure out that I don't have a tree topper...got me in a little panic. So today I need to get stuff for just one day...I decided to get him a baseball mitt.
Well I can't take anti depressants makes me manic then I end up all crazy and one time landed myself in the hospital. Have tried different kinds it is just it makes me actually hyper manic. Which all in all sounds wonderful but it isn't.
Well eatting empty calories are usually the yummiest.
Well I can't take anti depressants makes me manic then I end up all crazy and one time landed myself in the hospital. Have tried different kinds it is just it makes me actually hyper manic. Which all in all sounds wonderful but it isn't.
Well eatting empty calories are usually the yummiest.
radiofrank:
Happy Holidays!
Gotta Snap Out of It Soon
I saw my counsellor on Friday.
Not much to report.
I caught him up on my life and how down I've been feeling. I'll see him again in a week and a half. He didn't have a lot to say about how I've been feeling.
He does want me to try my best to establish and stick to a...
Read More
I saw my counsellor on Friday.
Not much to report.
I caught him up on my life and how down I've been feeling. I'll see him again in a week and a half. He didn't have a lot to say about how I've been feeling.
He does want me to try my best to establish and stick to a...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 50 COMMENTS
katblue:
french canadian slang for sleep.
and she's giving me cash. bahahhahahaha....
and she's giving me cash. bahahhahahaha....
toxii:
josh is a really good friend who is coming down to hang out with me on vacation. he has never been to fl before so i am excited to show him around.
So I guess I should just admit that the reason I've been so quiet here the last few months is that I've been in a depression.
Well, I'm basically always depressed, but the last three months have been worse than usual. And I've been doing my best to ignore it. Haven't even gone to see my counsellor since July. I intentionally missed my appointment in...
Read More
Well, I'm basically always depressed, but the last three months have been worse than usual. And I've been doing my best to ignore it. Haven't even gone to see my counsellor since July. I intentionally missed my appointment in...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
salome:
I hope you're doing better, honey.
My two dates flaked on me because, well, they're flakes. As far as being accepted as a Wicked Talent model, they don't take models shorter than 5'6" unless they're "exceptional", so I have to wow three of their photographers before I've got a shot.
My two dates flaked on me because, well, they're flakes. As far as being accepted as a Wicked Talent model, they don't take models shorter than 5'6" unless they're "exceptional", so I have to wow three of their photographers before I've got a shot.
radiofrank:
No apologies are necessary, good sir. The most important thing right now is for you to work through this and get better.
Honestly, though, I should apologize for not stopping by more often and saying hello.
All things considered, I'm not doing too badly. Work (and the insane shoppers) are tolerable at this point, although that may change in the next 10 - 12 days. We shall see.
How about you? Having someone to talk to about your emotions is always a good thing, and I hope that it's helped.
Honestly, though, I should apologize for not stopping by more often and saying hello.
All things considered, I'm not doing too badly. Work (and the insane shoppers) are tolerable at this point, although that may change in the next 10 - 12 days. We shall see.
How about you? Having someone to talk to about your emotions is always a good thing, and I hope that it's helped.
Okay, it's been a couple weeks since I wrote.
Sorry about that!
Last Thursday I went to Toronto for the SG burlesque show.
Overall I had a good time.
I ran into a bunch of people I know, or sort-of know, and it was great to finally say a bit more than 'hi' to some people I've met before.
An advantage of looking the way...
Read More
Sorry about that!
Last Thursday I went to Toronto for the SG burlesque show.
Overall I had a good time.
I ran into a bunch of people I know, or sort-of know, and it was great to finally say a bit more than 'hi' to some people I've met before.
An advantage of looking the way...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 67 COMMENTS
salome:
The website is down because my man is supposed to be redoing it. Of course, he's been supposed to be redoing it for months now. I think I'll just redesign it.
I'm glad you have some insight into your illness. My client is adamant that she is perfectly fine. The FBI really is trying to kill her, and a gay Serbian detective really did arrange to have her arrested so he could steal her husband. She really is going to two colleges, even though she's homeless, unemployed, and speaks broken English. Her delusions change daily, and she wants me to participate in them.
Even if I wanted to have her forcibly hospitalized (and she's not an imminent physical danger to herself or others right now) I couldn't. It's almost impossible to do. I just don't know what to do with her.
I'm glad you have some insight into your illness. My client is adamant that she is perfectly fine. The FBI really is trying to kill her, and a gay Serbian detective really did arrange to have her arrested so he could steal her husband. She really is going to two colleges, even though she's homeless, unemployed, and speaks broken English. Her delusions change daily, and she wants me to participate in them.
Even if I wanted to have her forcibly hospitalized (and she's not an imminent physical danger to herself or others right now) I couldn't. It's almost impossible to do. I just don't know what to do with her.
atticstar:
i know!! my mother needs to be regulated at all times... she's more stubborn than i am. *shakes head*
I got back from my trip to Iowa in the wee hours of Monday morning.
I thought the trip went well, until day 6 when she explained that she wasn't feeling that 'spark' necessary for a relationship.
She was very sensitive about it, and told me to my face as well, which I appreciate.
I do wonder if it took till then for her to...
Read More
I thought the trip went well, until day 6 when she explained that she wasn't feeling that 'spark' necessary for a relationship.
She was very sensitive about it, and told me to my face as well, which I appreciate.
I do wonder if it took till then for her to...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 35 COMMENTS
radiofrank:
'Twas most excellent to see you (albeit briefly) last night, and I hope that you had a good time!
salome:
No problem. I hope you're doing better now.
I'm Going Away
Well, it's Friday morning.
I leave for Iowa on Sunday morning.
I'll spend Sunday night somewhere. Not sure where - just wherever there's a rest area along the highway. Yes, I'll be sleeping in the car. Thankfully it's not the dead of winter, though I have slept in the car at that time of year too.
But it's a long drive to...
Read More
Well, it's Friday morning.
I leave for Iowa on Sunday morning.
I'll spend Sunday night somewhere. Not sure where - just wherever there's a rest area along the highway. Yes, I'll be sleeping in the car. Thankfully it's not the dead of winter, though I have slept in the car at that time of year too.
But it's a long drive to...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
dallas:
good luck sir =)
khabiri:
I hope you read this before you go! Don't worry about being too busy to reply, I'm sure we all understand. I'll have fingers, toes etc crossed for you for the week.
Yay!
K
Yay!
K
♥