so i get back to work and so much stuff has changed. but the cool part is the next day was my day off so i just basically went to work for one day. we have a new receptionist, her name is nicole. she's cool, she's not a bitch which is good cause there's only room for one bitch at the shop and that's me! hehe!
i had a good rest at home yesterday. but i wake up today to check how much i got paid and they only paid me for 2 days!!! i dont think they got my pto request! so i had to call my boss and ask him about it and he said he'll check up on it for me. it's such a hassle tho. why cant people just do their work right? it's annoying. like whenever i call the customer service for citibank! iono if it's just me but its always a punjab person that i get! nothing against punjab people but i cant understand them and they cant understand me!!! and they repeat themselves like they were an automated or something!! so i get really crazy when i have to call citibank, and believe me i have to call them a lot cause they've been fuckin up on me too. i hate banks!!! couldnt they find people that speak better english to be customer service? couldnt they put the punjab people somewhere in the back doing paperwork or something?!?!? god, i sound so racist right now. but it's the truth!
so enough about banks and punjabs. yesterday, me and my girl went at it about our so called relationship. what i dont like is that she beats around the bush about how she really feels and sometimes i cant read her! she used to be so direct with me. when she felt something she'll tell me straight up what she wants. but now it's like she dont tell me anything that's going on with her. so how am i supposed to know where i stand? were lacking so much communication. i really do love her and want to be with her but i cant do this with her anymore. i feel like i'm waiting in vain. and she doesnt understand how i feel right now so were like in totally different pages! so i went off on her yesterday bc i couldnt take it anymore. we were so heated with each other that towards the end of the conversation we were just gonna cut each other off from there. and as usual i was crying my heart out. i felt like i had nothing to live for anymore. i even considered suicide!!!! i'm so against that and it actually crossed my mind! i wanted to slap myself for even thinking about it. then right before we stopped talking .. and mind u this was al thru text, how sad is that!, she said she wanted to call me in a lil bit. i was like well i'm not gonna talk much .. i'm a lil heartbroken. but she insisted we talk so i gave in. then when she talked to me we tried to find out what exactly it is we want from each other. i told her i just want the old her back. the girl that i fell in love with. she said it's never gonna be the same. things have changed so much within the 2 yrs that weve been together, nothin can go back to the way it was. so she told me to figure out what i want and she'll call me back. then she called me an hour later and she asked me to move in with her. i kno she's only asking bc she thinks it'll make me happy. i mean it does but i dont want to force myself onto her. if she's not ready to get serious again then i'm not gonna do it. but the thing is .. i cant wait for her any longer. if she's not ready now then i just wanna move on. but that didnt mean she had to force herself to be ready. i mean she can always talk to me again when she is ready and she knows what she wants. i'm not cutting her off completely. i just dont want to be waiting on nothing. iono, it was pretty intense. right now she's going to great america i think with her friends and she said she'll call me when she's done. she's a sweet girl and she's the love of my life but sometimes she doesnt think that all the little things she does affect me.
well, whatever, dont wanna talk about her anymore. today i shall not be too lazy and do my laundry and fix my hair color. i also wanted to get my nails done but i cant now that they fucked up my paycheck. oh well ..whatever will be will be.
i had a good rest at home yesterday. but i wake up today to check how much i got paid and they only paid me for 2 days!!! i dont think they got my pto request! so i had to call my boss and ask him about it and he said he'll check up on it for me. it's such a hassle tho. why cant people just do their work right? it's annoying. like whenever i call the customer service for citibank! iono if it's just me but its always a punjab person that i get! nothing against punjab people but i cant understand them and they cant understand me!!! and they repeat themselves like they were an automated or something!! so i get really crazy when i have to call citibank, and believe me i have to call them a lot cause they've been fuckin up on me too. i hate banks!!! couldnt they find people that speak better english to be customer service? couldnt they put the punjab people somewhere in the back doing paperwork or something?!?!? god, i sound so racist right now. but it's the truth!
so enough about banks and punjabs. yesterday, me and my girl went at it about our so called relationship. what i dont like is that she beats around the bush about how she really feels and sometimes i cant read her! she used to be so direct with me. when she felt something she'll tell me straight up what she wants. but now it's like she dont tell me anything that's going on with her. so how am i supposed to know where i stand? were lacking so much communication. i really do love her and want to be with her but i cant do this with her anymore. i feel like i'm waiting in vain. and she doesnt understand how i feel right now so were like in totally different pages! so i went off on her yesterday bc i couldnt take it anymore. we were so heated with each other that towards the end of the conversation we were just gonna cut each other off from there. and as usual i was crying my heart out. i felt like i had nothing to live for anymore. i even considered suicide!!!! i'm so against that and it actually crossed my mind! i wanted to slap myself for even thinking about it. then right before we stopped talking .. and mind u this was al thru text, how sad is that!, she said she wanted to call me in a lil bit. i was like well i'm not gonna talk much .. i'm a lil heartbroken. but she insisted we talk so i gave in. then when she talked to me we tried to find out what exactly it is we want from each other. i told her i just want the old her back. the girl that i fell in love with. she said it's never gonna be the same. things have changed so much within the 2 yrs that weve been together, nothin can go back to the way it was. so she told me to figure out what i want and she'll call me back. then she called me an hour later and she asked me to move in with her. i kno she's only asking bc she thinks it'll make me happy. i mean it does but i dont want to force myself onto her. if she's not ready to get serious again then i'm not gonna do it. but the thing is .. i cant wait for her any longer. if she's not ready now then i just wanna move on. but that didnt mean she had to force herself to be ready. i mean she can always talk to me again when she is ready and she knows what she wants. i'm not cutting her off completely. i just dont want to be waiting on nothing. iono, it was pretty intense. right now she's going to great america i think with her friends and she said she'll call me when she's done. she's a sweet girl and she's the love of my life but sometimes she doesnt think that all the little things she does affect me.
well, whatever, dont wanna talk about her anymore. today i shall not be too lazy and do my laundry and fix my hair color. i also wanted to get my nails done but i cant now that they fucked up my paycheck. oh well ..whatever will be will be.