Ah the sadness of letting someone go. The past weekend has been quite a trying one. An ex boyfriend that I have become very close to has just left for the air force and will be gone for about six years. It hurts my heart to think about it and yet, everyday he is in my mind. It was a complicated and messy relationship that turned into a horrible hate and still it evolved. It became beautiful love and passion and understanding of one another. I have never had another human being mean so much to me in such a short amount of time. He is the most important relationship I have had to date. He taught me how to say no and how to stand up for myself. He also told me, in his own way, what it really means to care for someone. Everyday we broke each other, physically and emotionally, and by the nighttime I was flashing the porchlight to say goodnight as his car pulled away, loving him for another damn day. And every morning was the same routine, the same tears would cross my cheeks and the same stupid words would come pouring from his lips. Some days we would just hit each other with fists and open hands and other days it was words, spewing, the deadliest poison we could conjure up. And still through all this I adore him and I'm sure he feels the same. We have become civilized, but loving and passionate until the end. He will be the only one that knows it all, that knows what a horrible girlfriend I can be and how people touch me way deep inside. He knows that the word relationship is something I don't toss around lightly. He knows that I let everyone I meet into my heart, but there are forces in me that are much stronger than my heart. I love him for all that he is and all that he has yet to become. I know he will do great things with his life and touch many others. I know he will leave crying girls in his wake, but he will press on. He has a strong heart and an even stronger mind and together he conquers all.
More Blogs
-
2
Friday Nov 12, 2010
Just wanted to say thanks to whoever sent me three free months on her… -
1
Friday Mar 13, 2009
I'm back. And I am happy about that. It's weird that all of this was… -
2
Thursday Feb 21, 2008
I am everything about love that makes it hurt. I am the cheater at h… -
2
Thursday Jan 31, 2008
Write away the absence of today. Yesterday's fever burned into now a… -
6
Tuesday Dec 25, 2007
this is so old yet i love it still What do you do when the o… -
7
Tuesday Dec 11, 2007
Being sick is horrible. Head colds are probably the worst thing i hav… -
6
Saturday Dec 01, 2007
so i drove in the snow for the first time today and im alive! haha i… -
0
Wednesday Nov 28, 2007
Ah the sadness of letting someone go. The past weekend has been quit… -
0
Sunday Sep 30, 2007
Restlessness of the mind and the body. Sleeplessness to a tired exis… -
2
Saturday Sep 08, 2007
So, today I woke up and just giggled to myself. I thought about the …