So the only conceivable reason that I can think of for my existence and all of my suffering is Im supposed to help others not end up like me and suffer
I have to struggle with HIV. If I teach someone how to not become contracted with HIV then they will be better and not have to go through that
The same goes for addiction and depression.
If I go into Social Work, like Ive though about, I can help a lot of people not be like me.
My original plan of writing for a magazine is fine but making someone more informed about music doesnt really make the world a better place.
Getting them off of drugs and making them aware of some atrocities through my writing does
Of course all of this only works if I am idealistic. I used to be very idealistic but then became cynical. Now I am somewhat idealistic now. I have to be to think I can change or at least try to change the world. If I cant then why have I suffered so much?
I see no other reason. If I am wrong then I should end my suffering now. I guess I at least have to try before I end it all now.
I have to struggle with HIV. If I teach someone how to not become contracted with HIV then they will be better and not have to go through that
The same goes for addiction and depression.
If I go into Social Work, like Ive though about, I can help a lot of people not be like me.
My original plan of writing for a magazine is fine but making someone more informed about music doesnt really make the world a better place.
Getting them off of drugs and making them aware of some atrocities through my writing does
Of course all of this only works if I am idealistic. I used to be very idealistic but then became cynical. Now I am somewhat idealistic now. I have to be to think I can change or at least try to change the world. If I cant then why have I suffered so much?
I see no other reason. If I am wrong then I should end my suffering now. I guess I at least have to try before I end it all now.
trocc:
good, man - take a small step first, but take a step. a small volunteer role somewhere, see how it feels. it'll be different than hashing it out in your head...