So the only conceivable reason that I can think of for my existence and all of my suffering is Im supposed to help others not end up like me and suffer
I have to struggle with HIV. If I teach someone how to not become contracted with HIV then they will be better and not have to go through that
The same goes for addiction...
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I have to struggle with HIV. If I teach someone how to not become contracted with HIV then they will be better and not have to go through that
The same goes for addiction...
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trocc:
good, man - take a small step first, but take a step. a small volunteer role somewhere, see how it feels. it'll be different than hashing it out in your head...
I feel that I have something to say and can possibly help others and I want to reach others so Im going to stay around here and see what happens.
I am going to be here more to get out my thoughts and feelings out in an open place. Though its nice to get the approval of some lovely pierced girl (and I appreciate it),...
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I am going to be here more to get out my thoughts and feelings out in an open place. Though its nice to get the approval of some lovely pierced girl (and I appreciate it),...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
click_here:
my use of the site started to dwindle due to the lack of interesting stuff on the boards a few months ago. i mainly stuck to my friends journals and sometimes going on the boards. i should not complain, because i should just make it better to be here and not complain, but what ever..blah blah blah
the chat room is real lame, but like i said i wont complain, SG is supposed to be my happy place
i joined SG mainly for the porn, but i think isnce i joined i have developed a more open mind to different sub-cultures and lifestyles since being here for a year or so
keep your chin up, no matter what. if things go bad, something will go good. always.
the chat room is real lame, but like i said i wont complain, SG is supposed to be my happy place
i joined SG mainly for the porn, but i think isnce i joined i have developed a more open mind to different sub-cultures and lifestyles since being here for a year or so
keep your chin up, no matter what. if things go bad, something will go good. always.
monet:
i hope things are looking up for you. I'm glad you decided to stay! 
I think Christina Aguileras Beautiful is fairly catchy but not a great song,
I do however think the message is great and the video is brilliant.
Though it would be more effective and believable if it was sung by an obese burn victim,
Or someone else who completely goes against the popular notions of what beauty are,
but that would never work on MTV
Video...
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I do however think the message is great and the video is brilliant.
Though it would be more effective and believable if it was sung by an obese burn victim,
Or someone else who completely goes against the popular notions of what beauty are,
but that would never work on MTV
Video...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
evanx:
Christopher Cross...ok...but with video, we got Kriss Kross! The best pre-teen, backwards clothes wearing, non-threatening rap group of all time!!!
"The daddy mack'll make ya jump, jump"!
"The daddy mack'll make ya jump, jump"!
girlcunt:
well, pft. I think you're just darling. People love to say that someone is bothersome if they want to talk about things that matter.Silly, silly. Don't let that get you down.. if anything be depressed about things that are unchangable.. don't let the opinions of others get to you.
Who are my friends on here? I know Leanne and JP from before here and love them and know they'd be there for me if I needed them and I'd do the same. FauxFoe has become an excellent buddy and I love her and thank her for doing so much for and to me (hehe.)
Other than that, who? Lots of names of far away...
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Other than that, who? Lots of names of far away...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
monet:
ouch! Some of the comments people left in here, hurt. that's only because I'm part of the site though, and it makes me feel kinda crappy as an SG. Limbo girl rather.
But whatever. I understand your hurt, and anger. I wish I'd gotten to know you sooner before you planned on leaving. You seem like such a sweetheart. I really hope things begin to look up for you. get well darling.
But whatever. I understand your hurt, and anger. I wish I'd gotten to know you sooner before you planned on leaving. You seem like such a sweetheart. I really hope things begin to look up for you. get well darling.
alicetrip:
well, if you decide to disapear from SG, please don't disapear from AIM also...ithink you're nifty.
Perhaps sometimes I use this place too much as my therapy but I enjoy bonding with people who have been through similar experiences...I don't claim to be better than anyone and I'm sure a lot of people on this site still hate me and that's fine...I'm getting more back to normal everyday.
I constantly remind people and myself that I'm depressed, HIV + and all...
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I constantly remind people and myself that I'm depressed, HIV + and all...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
monet:
Don't you be sorry. You have a lot of guts, and it's awesome that you're not afraid or ashamed. I wish you the best darling.
ryan:
i use the site as a therapy in a sense as well.. just to make connections with people. i have a hard time where i am right now cause i grew up here and everyone is so judgemental. hence one reason for leaving. and you are welcome for the words.. i too am an open honest book..and sometimes that alone scares people off, because most people are guarded...ahhh the trials and tribulations of being...
What does a middle class 20-something-year old HIV +
hemophilia and hep c having depression dwelling motherfucker do on a usual night?
Well he enjoys a lot of recreational drugs. He's high now looking at alternative Suicide girls. He talks to people with his same influences and desires, dreams, hobbies, looks,and tells them everything on the "evil" internet.
He enjoys playing in his "flover's" clothing....
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hemophilia and hep c having depression dwelling motherfucker do on a usual night?
Well he enjoys a lot of recreational drugs. He's high now looking at alternative Suicide girls. He talks to people with his same influences and desires, dreams, hobbies, looks,and tells them everything on the "evil" internet.
He enjoys playing in his "flover's" clothing....
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
ruby:
Just be safe,
and by that I mean...
if you insist on all the wild partying you've mentioned in order to "live" what is left of your life (and by that I would like to point out that you can't say your life is any shorter than anyone else's because we don't know if we'll die tomorrow) then please excericise caution for the people around you... be honest with them about what you're going through...
wear a bracelet that says you have hep c and are HIV + so that if you go into cardiac arrest partying one night someone who steps in to give you mouth to mouth doesn't end up paying for caring about you...
You sound super self destructive- which is understandable... but still... some of us do notice the things you're not saying.
and by that I mean...
if you insist on all the wild partying you've mentioned in order to "live" what is left of your life (and by that I would like to point out that you can't say your life is any shorter than anyone else's because we don't know if we'll die tomorrow) then please excericise caution for the people around you... be honest with them about what you're going through...
wear a bracelet that says you have hep c and are HIV + so that if you go into cardiac arrest partying one night someone who steps in to give you mouth to mouth doesn't end up paying for caring about you...
You sound super self destructive- which is understandable... but still... some of us do notice the things you're not saying.
rumpusparable:
adrogynous? yes. but what i stated previously expressed my point.
"I miss the comfort in being sad..." Cobain...
Returning to my home on Long Island is like a junky returning to the place he used to use...I immediately feel depressed and miserable again.
Following in the footsteps of all of you lovely girls who got rejected like Cinder and Jasper, I decided to do the same thing...
I tried to be the first openly HIV...
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Returning to my home on Long Island is like a junky returning to the place he used to use...I immediately feel depressed and miserable again.
Following in the footsteps of all of you lovely girls who got rejected like Cinder and Jasper, I decided to do the same thing...
I tried to be the first openly HIV...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
trocc:
damn straight - and wait it does.
lilxsin:
Awesome Set!! *Me Loves*
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[Edited on Sep 10, 2003]
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\m/[Edited on Sep 10, 2003]
So things seem to be getting better. Yay. It's about fucking time...
I just listened to this mix I made and then found my copy of the Get Up Kids "On a Wire." Great fucking album but I'm real upset I left one of my favorite cd's Jimmy Eat World "Clarity" at home. Damn it. That album rocks and would totally hit the spot about...
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I just listened to this mix I made and then found my copy of the Get Up Kids "On a Wire." Great fucking album but I'm real upset I left one of my favorite cd's Jimmy Eat World "Clarity" at home. Damn it. That album rocks and would totally hit the spot about...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
bort79:
So how's it going? Your not causing anymore problems are you?
I'm doing o.k. I guess.
The 1st thing I notice about a person is.
Physical thing is there Smile and Eyes.
Personality is there sense of humor!
I'm doing o.k. I guess.
The 1st thing I notice about a person is.
Physical thing is there Smile and Eyes.
Personality is there sense of humor!
tiamat:
there world needs more people like you who are offer up their own experiences to help others. i know what you mean about kids not listening to your experiences though. i used to be a peer educator and i am now starting my practicum at a high school for a gay-straight alliance. keep up the good work. it means so much to the people listening.
i notice the why my significant others carry themselves. then their eyes and smile
i notice the why my significant others carry themselves. then their eyes and smile
Hey everyone. Thanks for all of the kind wishes and the continued uber friendly love and support that makes me love this place...
I think I'm starting to feel better again. Yay. It's about fucking time and I think things are starting to change. I can feel it...
I've been trying to write everyday and have been reading some of my poetry at this open...
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I think I'm starting to feel better again. Yay. It's about fucking time and I think things are starting to change. I can feel it...
I've been trying to write everyday and have been reading some of my poetry at this open...
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VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
flick:
Writing is definitely good therapy... so are tattoos, I would love to get more as soon as my budget allows for it, in fact I have something in mind for my left calf. *hugs*
fauxfoe39801:
today went great i love you!
i love you!I keep singing "tired of sex" by Weezer. I'm just tired of vices filling my days. I need to start livng and not just escaping.
I think my anti depressants and the pot have stopped working. What do I do now? and when will everything get better? Everyone says it will but I'm not sure I believe them.
Someone signed by journal and said they...
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I think my anti depressants and the pot have stopped working. What do I do now? and when will everything get better? Everyone says it will but I'm not sure I believe them.
Someone signed by journal and said they...
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
fauxfoe39801:
hey want to do soemthing tommorow (which is actually today)
fauxfoe39801:
one word:
SEABISCUIT!!!!!
please please come see it with me, ill pay you
SEABISCUIT!!!!!
please please come see it with me, ill pay you
So I really need to get my shit together so I don't end up institutionalized again...
Yeah depression sucks donkey dick and I can't seem to shake it...
So I'm officially banned from SG events. Oh well. I dig this community a lot so it bothers me that I acted like a stoned, lonely asshole and upset people. I'm sorry for that. I'll try and...
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Yeah depression sucks donkey dick and I can't seem to shake it...
So I'm officially banned from SG events. Oh well. I dig this community a lot so it bothers me that I acted like a stoned, lonely asshole and upset people. I'm sorry for that. I'll try and...
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VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
bort79:
Yeah I've pissed people off on here a few times but nothing bad has came from it. Yet anyway. Wow your journal sounds alot like me. Depressed, suicidal, and I have tried to kill myself.
Well have a good weekend!
Well have a good weekend!
bort79:
Truthfully I'm still depressed. Most of the time! But the worst I ever was is when I found out that my new wife of 6 months was cheating on me. I lost her and my step-son that I had raised since his birth for 2 1/2 years. I OD on drugs (presription and illegal). I was in the hospital for alittle while and in therapy. The only reason I keep going on is I've seen what almost killing myself did to my friends. What if I would of gone through with it. So I just think about the people I would hurt. Plus go out and have fun as much as possible! 
It's Sunday and I'm feeling depressed. I apologized again to the person who I think is still mad at me from SG. I am HIV postive and can't cum and therefore have a lot of sexual energy.I'm sorry that it comes out at innapropriate times and makes me seem like an asshole. I'm only a danger to myself and if I continue going like this...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
csilla:
aww hun, i hope you are ok. i hope you work it out with whoever. your not a danger to yourself. email me if you wanna talk
fauxfoe39801:
http://www.MistressGoth.com/gallery.htm
lets move to the Uk cheer up only one month till the mega super special vanessa moves into her new apartment party which, as we all know is superly mega VIP only so that means only you, me, and the crookedone. i have the party hats all picked out and we'll make a HUGE deal out of it and piss everyone off and tell them what a great fucking time we had... sound like fun? ? ?
lets move to the Uk
cheer up only one month till the mega super special vanessa moves into her new apartment party which, as we all know is superly mega VIP only so that means only you, me, and the crookedone. i have the party hats all picked out and we'll make a HUGE deal out of it and piss everyone off and tell them what a great fucking time we had... sound like fun? ? ?