Be my fan! Or just watch some unexpected performance art.
So, I call myself an "alternative comedian," which means that the last funny thing I did was dress up as ANOTHER alternative comedian named Schaffer the Darklord and parody his rap song, Attack of the Clonefucker, with MY version, Attack of the Mimefucker. I can't rap, exactly, but I certainly can talk very, very fast. My song was about how it's not wrong to molest a mime if he can't say no.
People like to ask me "what is an alternative comedian?" I generally use the term to refer to anyone who's funny outside of a comedy club situation where there's one person on stage, a bunch of people in the audience who've paid a cover charge specifically to be made to laugh every thirty seconds.
Comedy clubs generally function via a "bringer system," which means that new comics have to bring a certain number of audience members, maybe five, who each pay a cover charge and purchase two drinks as a condition for the comic to even be allowed on stage. The comic's friends must arrive early and wait for the show to begin, are generally obligated to sit politely throughout the entire show, and are ushered out promptly at the end. Also, half the audience consists of tourists, thus encouraging lots of "Anyone here from the Midwest? Let's have a round of applause for the Midwest!" (Nothing against the Midwest, but flattering Nebraskans is very rarely funny in this context).
In contrast, alternative comedians (at least in NYC) often perform in variety shows or improv shows in bars or tiny art theaters. A show in a bar is very, very different than a show in a comedy club -- there might be a small cover, or a drink minimum, but it's invariably cheaper, and people can come and go as they please, just like anything in a bar. There's often time in between acts to just hang out, and there's less competition and pressure because, after all, your friends are in a bar, and if they weren't out seeing you, they might very well be in a bar anyway, so it's not like you asked them to come to your kid's piano recital or something.
Anyway ... that brings us to the pith of this post. Traditional comedy kind of bores me, and I don't like asking my friends to spend cash to see me unless they're going to be really fucking entertained. I've been doing lots of variety shows (Schaffer's show at Apocalypse plus shows at Pianos, Collective Unconscious, The Marquee, Galapagos...) and have taped a couple of performances, but I need video of me doing more traditional standup to work into my demo video so I can send the video to real comedy shows and try to get booked.
After looking around for someplace to perform, I got booked at a comedy show for April 9.
"I'll make dirty videos of me fucking my mimes/
That'll get reviewed in the theater section in the New York Times."
So, on April 9, I have a seven-minute set in a comedy show with lots of other comics -- many of them probably perfectly decent and struggling with this bringer crap themselves -- during which I am going to do about six minutes of comedy, at which I hope many people will laugh heartily and sonorously, such as to forever preserve their amusement on my demo tape.
If you're in NYC and want to come, contact me for details. I need to know you're coming so I know I have enough people. It costs $10 plus a 2-drink minimum, and you must arrive on April 9 at 7pm.
So, I call myself an "alternative comedian," which means that the last funny thing I did was dress up as ANOTHER alternative comedian named Schaffer the Darklord and parody his rap song, Attack of the Clonefucker, with MY version, Attack of the Mimefucker. I can't rap, exactly, but I certainly can talk very, very fast. My song was about how it's not wrong to molest a mime if he can't say no.
People like to ask me "what is an alternative comedian?" I generally use the term to refer to anyone who's funny outside of a comedy club situation where there's one person on stage, a bunch of people in the audience who've paid a cover charge specifically to be made to laugh every thirty seconds.
Comedy clubs generally function via a "bringer system," which means that new comics have to bring a certain number of audience members, maybe five, who each pay a cover charge and purchase two drinks as a condition for the comic to even be allowed on stage. The comic's friends must arrive early and wait for the show to begin, are generally obligated to sit politely throughout the entire show, and are ushered out promptly at the end. Also, half the audience consists of tourists, thus encouraging lots of "Anyone here from the Midwest? Let's have a round of applause for the Midwest!" (Nothing against the Midwest, but flattering Nebraskans is very rarely funny in this context).
In contrast, alternative comedians (at least in NYC) often perform in variety shows or improv shows in bars or tiny art theaters. A show in a bar is very, very different than a show in a comedy club -- there might be a small cover, or a drink minimum, but it's invariably cheaper, and people can come and go as they please, just like anything in a bar. There's often time in between acts to just hang out, and there's less competition and pressure because, after all, your friends are in a bar, and if they weren't out seeing you, they might very well be in a bar anyway, so it's not like you asked them to come to your kid's piano recital or something.
Anyway ... that brings us to the pith of this post. Traditional comedy kind of bores me, and I don't like asking my friends to spend cash to see me unless they're going to be really fucking entertained. I've been doing lots of variety shows (Schaffer's show at Apocalypse plus shows at Pianos, Collective Unconscious, The Marquee, Galapagos...) and have taped a couple of performances, but I need video of me doing more traditional standup to work into my demo video so I can send the video to real comedy shows and try to get booked.
After looking around for someplace to perform, I got booked at a comedy show for April 9.
"I'll make dirty videos of me fucking my mimes/
That'll get reviewed in the theater section in the New York Times."
So, on April 9, I have a seven-minute set in a comedy show with lots of other comics -- many of them probably perfectly decent and struggling with this bringer crap themselves -- during which I am going to do about six minutes of comedy, at which I hope many people will laugh heartily and sonorously, such as to forever preserve their amusement on my demo tape.
If you're in NYC and want to come, contact me for details. I need to know you're coming so I know I have enough people. It costs $10 plus a 2-drink minimum, and you must arrive on April 9 at 7pm.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jenisfamous:
We're going to have to have a "practice" session Wanna come over?
amorpheus:
That sounds like fun. I'd love to come. What details do I need?