i lie in the hospital bed, looking at the thin plastic band that encricles my wrist and becomes my identity for this indefinate amount of time.
5671250.0
what is the .0 for?
am I lucky enough that some kind nurse analysed me and decided that I was whole?
are there thousands more holed away in these styrofoam halls that are only halves? pieces?
i wonder who will put them back together, these half people who movements send sound waves to disturb my sleep.
i'm barcoded like a item for purchase in this shop.
How much is that little doggy in the window sir?
the broken girl in the manual-lift bed with not enough blankets and oil spill pupils?
maybe people come shopping here. those that prey on the weaker, looking for god's broken wooden toys because their insecurities do not allow them to mate with a mass produced plastic strong soldier.
how much do I cost?
how much is my life worth?
will you take me home in a plastic shopping bag?
or a green knitted fcoles fibre to irritate my breasts as I slide back and forth to your walking pace?
they stare at me like I'm some curiosity shipped from the amazon.
I hear the whispers in their drugged thoughts.
what is she on?
they pity me because they do not understand.
I feel like screaming, because I do not want to be here.
the pressure is building at the base of my spine and i just crave to back in nature. with the trees, the plants, the animals and the sky.
i want to be with my mother.
the all, encompassing mother that has been here all along.
waiting for me.
the long green curtains dance to an invisible song.
they prompt me for the date.
the day.
my name.
i'm tripping balls you motherfucker.
high, high, high.
take me back to the forest where you found me.
didn't you understand I was healing?
why did they take me here.
i'm half healed.
half understanding
half listening.
i cried for you. silent tears, feotal position, heart's a'listening.
and i realised something.
there's one more waiting.
two more arms.
one more love.
and he's alive. and out there.
i just have to wait.
strength breeds patience.
and in the meantime, I'm adding an extra line to this barcode.
so no one can buy me.
except you.
shit last 24 hours.
i'm fine.
love you.
5671250.0
what is the .0 for?
am I lucky enough that some kind nurse analysed me and decided that I was whole?
are there thousands more holed away in these styrofoam halls that are only halves? pieces?
i wonder who will put them back together, these half people who movements send sound waves to disturb my sleep.
i'm barcoded like a item for purchase in this shop.
How much is that little doggy in the window sir?
the broken girl in the manual-lift bed with not enough blankets and oil spill pupils?
maybe people come shopping here. those that prey on the weaker, looking for god's broken wooden toys because their insecurities do not allow them to mate with a mass produced plastic strong soldier.
how much do I cost?
how much is my life worth?
will you take me home in a plastic shopping bag?
or a green knitted fcoles fibre to irritate my breasts as I slide back and forth to your walking pace?
they stare at me like I'm some curiosity shipped from the amazon.
I hear the whispers in their drugged thoughts.
what is she on?
they pity me because they do not understand.
I feel like screaming, because I do not want to be here.
the pressure is building at the base of my spine and i just crave to back in nature. with the trees, the plants, the animals and the sky.
i want to be with my mother.
the all, encompassing mother that has been here all along.
waiting for me.
the long green curtains dance to an invisible song.
they prompt me for the date.
the day.
my name.
i'm tripping balls you motherfucker.
high, high, high.
take me back to the forest where you found me.
didn't you understand I was healing?
why did they take me here.
i'm half healed.
half understanding
half listening.
i cried for you. silent tears, feotal position, heart's a'listening.
and i realised something.
there's one more waiting.
two more arms.
one more love.
and he's alive. and out there.
i just have to wait.
strength breeds patience.
and in the meantime, I'm adding an extra line to this barcode.
so no one can buy me.
except you.
shit last 24 hours.
i'm fine.
love you.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
if i had to sin to see her again,
then i would lie,
lie,
lie."
- puscifier
i am here and waiting. it is ok to not know, to question that which we don't understand.
i met a man who had the word Heal carved into his arm, it was scarred white and smooth but had sharp jagged edges of twisted flesh. i asked what it meant and he just smiled, shook his head and said, "Heal."
i am here and i am waiting, dreaming for you.
an extra line is tattoed across my arm, it reads;
'carve her name'
just so i don't forget.
i am here and i will wait.
Z out
*hugs*