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too much, not enough.

this runs through my head all the time. there is something about excess and neglect that i cannot escape.

there is an answer. but the question is unknown.

Z out
fanny:
tongue
gogo:
hmmm miao!!
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promise

if she knew what I have done,
she would kill me.

if she knew what you said,
she would kill me.

if she knew when I left,
she would kill me.

and all the rage and the rage and the rage and the rage
has been misplaced and cannot erase
the look that was on her face.

and all the rage and the rage...
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highresolution:
i miss your words.

and somehow, our words seemed familiar.
and they are distant echoes to each other.

but not this life time apparently.

we both sit in embarassment for we miscontstrued something that was right, but not for each other perhaps.

still, I loved your comments, and your critiscm. and your intelligence.

don't forget me alexander.


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the endless wood

The trees were becoming bare and skeletal fingers, outstretched, clawing at the grey afternoon sky, their fading green leaves dead or dying. Rain had recently fallen, water dripped from the limbs to fill fresh puddles that were scattered about the damp earth.
A series of wooden picnic tables were placed around just before the tree line. A young woman sat on the...
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0
Zzz

Z out
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
highresolution:
porn is small news.
we need to chat soon.
I don't work during the day no more, so if you have time, let me know and we'll arrange something shorty.
highresolution:
i hope you are alright. you are unusually silent for one of words.
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Z
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
theblacknurse:
thanks for the derrida link, looks very interesting so i have bm'd it. ahh i love him. i'm really interested in contemporary philosophy (the good stuff, not the wank wank). do you study any of that stuff at uni?

gonna be a hot one today! hopefully catch you on the flipside.....recycle... TO THE EXTREMMMME!

[Edited on Sep 10, 2005 11:48AM]
theblacknurse:
enjoy the silence... depeche mode!??! biggrin
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Z
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
theblacknurse:
it was a bad joke at your expense....

and my hate? dude its not as romantic as effigy burning and and crimes of passion. its more bread n butter hate. HAHAH i wonder how many variables of hate there are. some friends and i actually started a blog of hate http://playerhaters.blogspot.com/ not long ago and now its spread to have people from our work/school/family. Its great. Get your hate on A!
theblacknurse:
thanks dude, you have soft eyes. They look sad but sweet. They remind me of jeff buckley.



take that how you will.

i actually already listen to a bit of van morrison! don't know much about him tho, didnt know he was 17 when he did gloria... my favourite is his version of "its all over now baby blue". have you heard patti smith's version of gloria?
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NIN. ok.

ignore the venue, ingore those in seats, ignore the merchindise.

i saw NIN five years ago, the last time that he came out here at the BDO and well, it was amazing and brilliant and violent, blood was spilt that day.

and not a lot has changed since that time.

charting a course that included 'terrible lie', 'reptile', 'head like a hole', 'closer',...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
casper:
you should write music reviews, if you dont already.

and thank you.
theblacknurse:
thank you for your empathetic comment Z out! smile i was so much more emo back in the day, i have another online journal and i cringe to go back and read anything from a few years ago, i was really free with my emotions and my writing, then i just stopped and heavily retreated into myself. i think i got over the sound of my own whining... i loathe the ego and self obsession... i think i have an unnatural hate of self absorbtion, like it repulses me. So i try really hard not to appear to be narcissistic or something. But isn't having an online journal somewhat narcissistic? hrmm. so its all such a contradiction...

something has changed in you. Yes, it has.
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Z
theblacknurse:
hahah "I had full intention of going to uni"... that is MY line... except I never actually make it out of bed.

I like the dylan thomas stuff i've read, particularly his play "under milk wood", excerpts of that are amazing. I dont mind the old edgar allen poe either, but i only got into him cos lou reed did an album dedicated to "the raven" which is amazing (the poem i mean, the album is so-so). my bf is really into ted hughes and his stuff is great too.... hes the poetry buff tho, not me.

so you gonna post some poems of yours?
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Z
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
theblacknurse:
Boxing helena?

Did your meeting on the weekend go ok?
theblacknurse:
wow... well good luck with it all, let us know how you go! Is it for a university play or local theatre etc?

The pursuit of life... well it goes slowly at the moment! Though I accidently slept in today so no school (*cough* accident my arse), I'm suffering a terrible case of wanderlust atm tho. Itching to leave, but feeling shackled to the pursuit of education.

I heard it was spose to snow in melbourne?!