so tonight, i went to megan's, and having been promised a place to sleep, i naturally got fubar. and it was fun. i had a great time. however, when it was time to leave, things got downright AWFUL. i told megan that i was NOT going to drive, and that i was going to stay at her house as she had said i could. however, once i was relatively tipsy(not drunk off my ass), she went back on her word and said that she didn't want anyone to stay unless there was more than one person. so of course, everyone else lives within spitting distance of megan's house. which is cool, because they could all go home with no problem. however, i live on the other side of town, so i had no way of getting home. i am not going to lie, i am a virgin. that to me is not something to look down on, and i don't regret it, although i would not mind changing it but apparently, the reason that megan didn't want just one person, especially a guy, to stay over, is that it would be "awkward". well, let's do the math. if mr. happy hasn't shown himself in public in 21 years, i don't think that there would be anything to worry about. i think he can wait a little longer. so i took that with a grain of salt and agreed to have megan take me to my house and simply have my parents take me to pick the car up the next day. beautiful. no problem here. so i get my camera stuff together and go put my shoes on. on my way out the door, i realize that my $3000 nikon telephoto lens is sitting on my car seat for every maligned shithead to see. so i went to my car to grab it(it is one of the few things i do not leave ANYWHERE) and take it home with me. while i was grabbing my stuff out of my car, megan turned to me and said "axel, you're too damn slow, drive yourself home. if you die, it's not my fault." at this point, i yelled a nice hearty "fuck you" in her direction and slammed my door. luck would have it that i am a highly skilled and experienced driver, and i am able to drive under the worst circumstances you could imagine. also, i was not drunk or tipsy. however, i had enough alcohol in me that while my brain was functioning perfectly, my vision was still a little bit off. i could see perfectly, and my coordination was fine, but headlights were still slightly disorienting. so, and i thank god, shiva, buddha, confucious, allah, zeus, or whatever gods are out there, i made it home no problem. however, my life was put on the line by someone who apparently thought that their time was more important than my well-being/life. to me, that is COMPLETELY unacceptable. when someone says that if i die, it's not their fault, it says two things about them. one, they think they are more important than me, and two, they don't give a shit whether i am alive or dead. i am sorry, but that is not something a friend would say. if, god forbid, something had happened, she could have gone to PRISON. it would have been her fault, and her fault alone. anyone who lets a friend drive 4 miles home when they have ANY alcohol in their system is NOT a friend. those bumper sticker that say "friends don't let friends drive drunk" always struck me as overtly obvious, almost as if it didn't need to be said because its should be common sense. but now i know that it should be on every car, bus, and bicycle in the world. i honestly don't know if i will ever forgive her for what she said. some might bring up the religion end of things and say that i should forgive her regardless of what happened. well, that may happen eventually, but when someone directly threatens your life, and acts as if nothing happened, i think you would find it hard to let it go very quickly as well. i just want to thank colleen and monica for thanking me for letting them know that i was home safe, and that they were worried about me. because it is quite obvious that they are my true friends, and i would not trade them for the world. without you guys, i would not be the person i am today, and i guarantee you that i would not be nearly as content with my life as i am knowing i have friends that actually believe that i can do what i say i can do. anyway, i am going to sleep, becasue i really want to allow this night to end happily and without desires to harm other people. goodnight everyone. i love you guys and i don't know where i would be without you.
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