How much of our problems are caused by ideas formed from the experiences and traumas we have had? Probably most. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to let go. But sometimes I just want to be the same old asshole I’ve always been. I want to self destruct. I want to burn bridges. I want lay waste to everything around me.
The problem is I’m too old. I’m trying to actively improve my life and relationships and if I do any of it, I’ll end up creating the same hell I’ve been in.