finklestein

I can't get out of bed in the morning because of the cold. I get up late with the sun and smell like sweat and bacteria and latex. I waft proudly. Stench is a sophisticated language.

19th century style... go! Monocles! Portable drink mixing kit! Steam engines! Manifest destiny! Telegrams! Civil discourse!

I can't stop reading about conjoined twins. Does that whole Aristophanes-Hedwig Origin of...
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Before the first time I kissed a girl, she suggested I first practice on a soda can. I did. I later found that the soda can is not a suitable substitute for orifices, oral and otherwise. The soda can and I still talk on occasion.

I've been drinking too much coffee and booze. My heart feels like it's hugging a fucking brick.

The discomfort of...
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Hello, biology! How do our human friends fare?

A little symbiosis for the legally wed. Purportedly, parasitism is reserved for the deviants: strictly homosexuals and rapists. Of course there's commensalism for the shier beasts, masturbating in shame and in dark.

I try to avoid the technical categorizations of orgasms, personally.

Oh no! I put my freckles on backwards!

So you start out with your ration of boyish charm, then the urban grime circumscribes your white little laugh, then you work all day in the sun and get swarthy skinned, then you sprout a bushy grizzled beard to hide your face, then you spill your coffee on your Sunday clothes. I think most trees grow concentrically like this, but the pattern lacks contrast. Very...
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Androgyns came from the future on a critical mission to subvert our conception of gender under the guise of making us primitives tingle down there. That's what they tell me, at least.

The commotion of the apiary is tiring. As long there are larvae to gestate, honey will drip. The bees fan out to find flowers to fuck. Again and again with the probing and the suckling and the gorging and the nectar. The nectar was once sweet, now banal. Each bee raping under the hegemony of the queen. Each bee counting nurtured eggs as a fractions...
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So, my child, you ask why boys and girls are different?

A long time ago, before microwavable pizzas or tax returns, God did some stuff. After a debilitating week of work, He cursed realizing it was all in vain; He forgot to teach last night's batch how to philander. Useless to Him, they were smitten.

And so He rested, thus producing a truly divine and...
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The more times I have sex in a day, the easier it is to think; it's like playing whack-a-mole trying to concentrate these days.

That's what keeps the population growing, you know. It took nine thousand and thirty four orgasms for Newton to develop his laws of classical motion and another seventeen thousand six hundred and twenty one for Einstein to refute them with the...
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It's the season to celebrate the birth of Christ and the subsequent invention of the prophlyactic.