Ah! Trinidad and Tobago! The Soca Warriors! Finishing their first World Cup match with a 1-1 draw with powerful Sweden after going down to 10 men at the start of the second half! What a great game. I really got the impression that the Swedish strikers weren't really taking the match seriously and were trying to be too tricksy with their chances in the first half. It wasn't until it was too late before they finally decided to buckle down, and The Soca Warriors got a chance to get a huge result for their tiny island nation!
Just say it out loud, "tiny island nation." Sounds good, right? Sounds like . . . victory.
When I have purchased my own island chain and become God Emperor of the new tiny island nation of Ultimate Friendly Fonque LaRoque, we're going to name our football side "The Jazz Bitches" and our team emblem will be a child's drawing of Sun Ra standing on John Coltrane's shoulders showing his man-boobs for Mardi Gras beads.
Our long term strategy will be to pay the parents of great international footballers to emigrate to UFFL where they will be given luxurious and romantic state-sponsored fuck palaces stocked with porn and champagne. Nature will handle the rest.
Our alternate plan will be to convince the world community that Brazil is a threat to world peace, then invade them. They can keep the giant Jesus statue, but we're getting the football team.
I was a bit dissapointed that the Ivory Coast couldn't do better against Argentina. I know that results football wins championships, blah blah blah, but goddamn it's just not fun. Ivory Coast had great players and played a fun game to watch, but just . . . couldn't . . . get it . . . still, congrats to Argentina for putting two gorgeous goals on the board and giving that fucker Maradonna something to wave his shirt about.
A kind of flat-seeming England side triumphed over evil, personafied in the play of Paraguay's Parades (#13), one of the floppinist, cheatingist players I've seen since ESPN Classic replayed the US-Mexico match from 2002. He was on my last nerve.
Just say it out loud, "tiny island nation." Sounds good, right? Sounds like . . . victory.
When I have purchased my own island chain and become God Emperor of the new tiny island nation of Ultimate Friendly Fonque LaRoque, we're going to name our football side "The Jazz Bitches" and our team emblem will be a child's drawing of Sun Ra standing on John Coltrane's shoulders showing his man-boobs for Mardi Gras beads.
Our long term strategy will be to pay the parents of great international footballers to emigrate to UFFL where they will be given luxurious and romantic state-sponsored fuck palaces stocked with porn and champagne. Nature will handle the rest.
Our alternate plan will be to convince the world community that Brazil is a threat to world peace, then invade them. They can keep the giant Jesus statue, but we're getting the football team.
I was a bit dissapointed that the Ivory Coast couldn't do better against Argentina. I know that results football wins championships, blah blah blah, but goddamn it's just not fun. Ivory Coast had great players and played a fun game to watch, but just . . . couldn't . . . get it . . . still, congrats to Argentina for putting two gorgeous goals on the board and giving that fucker Maradonna something to wave his shirt about.
A kind of flat-seeming England side triumphed over evil, personafied in the play of Paraguay's Parades (#13), one of the floppinist, cheatingist players I've seen since ESPN Classic replayed the US-Mexico match from 2002. He was on my last nerve.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I used to like watching some sports but when they become so commercialized and ultra-professional, they become much less enjoyable. I like to see screwups, mistakes, and unpredictability, cause with that comes the amazing plays, the runaway star, and unexpected results. More fun.
Tiny Island Nation!!
Hey, what up on the Germany thing?