Sorry. I keep writing these. It just occurred to me today that what I am going through is nature telling me to wind down. Stop looking for a mate. Stop the urge to procreate. Stop with the fantasies.
I am sitting here watching a scene from a show where characters talk about feeling like they were meant to be with someone and all I can think about is how that it's a very Hollywood device. It preys on our hearts wants and desires. At the same time I know the cruel truth is it doesn't exist. There is no such thing as destiny. No one is fated to be with another. We all get chances that we can take advantage of or we miss out on. It happens. That is the reality. That is the truth.
I am winding down now. I am slowly loosing the desire and the drive to keep looking and the desire to want.
I look forward to the day when its all quiet.