I was in a vendetta kind of mood. So I did a survey. It was a unique survey, so I filled it out. Hours were hurt, minutes mutilated and seconds slaughtered as I waded through it. However you may not be in the mood to read such a long thing at the moment so I'll use a little trick that I've never used before:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
So these were the rules (or guidelines for all you rebels out there):
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song titles that come up to answer each question, then comment on the answer.
NO CHEATING.
ps Green Bay sucks.
And here are the answers.
How does the world see me?
Song: Victorious (The Untouchables OST)
Artist: Ennio Morricone
Comment: The world must be seeing me like a decade from now.
Will I have a happy life?
Song: Tough Love (karate Kid OST)
Artist: Shandi
Comment: Hmmm, feck. This ain't getting testosterone flowing. No. The Departed did though. That movie made me proud to have bollocks.
What do people really think of me?
Song: High School
Artist: MC5
Comment: What can I say... I'm a 28 year old boy.
Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Beats to the Rhyme
Artist: Run DMC
Comment: heh-heh-heh... they beat to my rhyme. The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the beat of the feet. Ho-ho!
How can I make myself happy?
Song: Shakedown
Artist: Bob Seger
Comment: All right, just keep doing what I'm doing. Man, for a lot of randomness this makes some freaking sense.
What should I do with my life?
Song: The Reggae
Artist: From The Breakfast club OST (id3 tags are fecked plus I'm not cheating)
Comment: So in other words, sit on my butt, nod my head and do bad Jamacian impressions. Damn, this really is insightful.
Will I ever have children?
Song: One
Artist: Three Dog Night
Comment: This is starting to freak me serious. But my policy here is firm. If there is one there must be another. Family is everything. You need to have somebody out there that'll have your back no matter what and without question and a sibling should be that person. Wow, that was an insightful personal thought. We shall return to bad jokes and irreverence shortly.
What is some good advice for me?
Song: Nookie
Artist: Limp Bizkit
Comment: I'm going to capitalise this because it needs it. I'M HONESTLY NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP, I'M FOLLOWING THE RULES AND THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING. HONEST TO GOD.
What do I think my current theme song is?
Song: The Killing Moon
Artist: Echo and the Bunnymen
Comment: Whoa, I just got inspiration.
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Song: A Lesson Learned
Artist: Limp Bizkit
Comment: That's right, I'm an informer. But I'm no rat. Saw a film about rats last night. Jack Nicholson was in it. He rules.
What song will play at my funeral?
Song: Clowns (Can you see me now?)
Artist: Tatu
Comment: I expect the Egg will get someone to do a cover version.
What type of men/women do you like?
Song: Good Souls
Artist: Starsailor
Comment: Yeah, that be true. All this insight is cramping my style.
What is my day going to be like?
Song: Breathe
Artist: Prodigy
Comment: My day has been real f'n simple. Like breathing. Simple.
Why am I here?
Song: Feel the Night (Karate Kid OST)
Artist: Baxter Robinson
Comment: This seems like a great moment for a tasteless Steve Irwin joke: Although Steve was married to Terri he still had a place in his heart for Barb. (Think about it...)
What will people remember me for?
Song: Figment
Artist: Shaun of the Dead OST
Comment: Remember me for being loyal to my brother? That is more than fine with me. Yup.
What song will be stuck in my head tomorrow?
Song: Little by Little
Artist: Groove Armada
Comment: It's f'n stuck now. Bastard.
Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Song: Toys in the Attic
Artist: Aerosmith
Comment: Arrgh, I had a dream about this once. Wreck-Gar came to life and took over the Earth and kept me prisoner in a stately flat mutilating me every night. My dreams kick ass.
What will this year be all about?
Song: My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters
Comment: I'm jinxing nothing here. Nada.
Which song will carry bad memories for this year?
Song: Suck My Kiss
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Comment: Oh no... No! Do not let this be true. There's a serious (tenuous) connection here now. I'll reveal it should it happens it happens.
Which song will come with good memories from this year?
Song: . Goblin Zombi / Zombie Nation Kernkraft 400 (Osymyso Mix)
Artist: Shaun of the Dead OST
Comment: Not another serious (tenuous) connection here. Again I'll reveal it should it come to pass.
What is your family like?
Song: Light and Dark
Artist: Nappy Roots
Comment: It is safe to say I'm getting a tad spooked by this.
What are your friends like?
Song: Children in Chains (Temple of Doom OST)
Artist: John Williams
Comment: Hmmm....
What's your romantic life like?
Song: Fire Leap (Wicker Man OST)
Artist: Paul Giovanni
Comment: <insert own syphillis/gonnorohea joke here --- fuck me, I spelled 'gonnorohea' right the first time. I got skills, baby>
What kind of mood will you be in today?
Song: End credits
Artist: Fist of Fury OST (I think)
Comment: Yeah. I did things today in as funky and upbeat a groove as possible.
What kind of mood will you be in this week?
Song: More Than a Woman
Artist: Bee Gees
Comment: Oh too fecking right about that. I saw The Departed last night, you know. That film will do things to a man, a great many things. Shame there's no cheap shoddy porno theatre on this rock. I'd have done my Jack Nicholson impersonation this morning.
What will you have a dream about soon?
Song: In the Air Tonight (Miami Vice)
Artist: Nonpoint
Comment: This seems likely, especially given I had that crazy dream last week after seeing the Switchblade sisters trailer.
How will you die?
Song: Double or Nothing
Artist: Kenny Rogers & Gladys Knight
Comment: A gamble? Yeah, that seems... apt. Yeesh.
What will you look like at 85?
Song: One Day Remains
Artist: Alter Bridge
Comment: Fuck off. That's almost funny.
Where will you meet your worst enemy?
Song: Christchurch Fireworks Music
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Comment: [Jim Mora impression] Christchurch? Don't talk to me about Christchurch? Christchurch? Are you kidding me? I'll be amazed if I leave my rock againl. [/Jim Mora impression]
What do you hate the most?
Song: Chop Chop (Wicker Man OST)
Artist: Paul Giovanni
Comment: The choppers. I don't like the choppers. Especially the ones without helmets. They make no sense to me. (snigger, how lame). Inspiration strikes again..
What do you love the most?
Song: Busy Bee
Artist: Ugly Kid Joe
Comment: A damned fine worker. Yes. Makes life much easier. You show me someone that disagrees I'll show you a filthy f'n c*nt.
What makes you feel like jumping out a window?
Song: Bus Stop
Artist: The Hollies
Comment: Frankly the first track that really makes no sense. I mean really. How can someone connect me throwing myself out a window to a Bus Stop. I can't. If you figure something plausible out I owe you a thumping. (Thank God I remembered the T in 'thumping' there. Could have been... problematic )
If you could be someplace else where would you want to be?
Song: Why Don't You Get a Job
Artist: Offspring
Comment: Work. Yes, that's where I wanted to be because I did this before I went today and only typing it up now.
How would you describe your childhood:
Song: Never
Artist: Overseer
Comment: Hmmm, I can see how that fits. Yes.
What should your next adventure be?
Song: Lose Yourself
Artist: Eminem
Comment: Oh yeah. I'm going plunging the plums for this one. Balls deep.
What was a recent obsession?
Song: Vampire Hunters (Bram Stoker's Dracula OST)
Artist: Wojciech Keller
Comment: This is weirdly true. Both the actual song and titles were recent 'obessions'.
What should you start collecting?
Song: Scorpio's Theme (Dirty Harry OST)
Artist: Lalo Schifren
Comment: Nuns, women, cops and kids with a sniper rifle? Or Scorpios in general? This will be meditated upon.
Who do you want to invite for dinner?
Song: Naked
Artist: Spice Girls
Comment: What how did this get on... argh, that's how. Anyway I'm sure Freud would have a field day with this. Now to delete this track... done. Must be more vigilant in the rip.
This actually kicked ass. Was cool.
So these were the rules (or guidelines for all you rebels out there):
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song titles that come up to answer each question, then comment on the answer.
NO CHEATING.
ps Green Bay sucks.
And here are the answers.
How does the world see me?
Song: Victorious (The Untouchables OST)
Artist: Ennio Morricone
Comment: The world must be seeing me like a decade from now.
Will I have a happy life?
Song: Tough Love (karate Kid OST)
Artist: Shandi
Comment: Hmmm, feck. This ain't getting testosterone flowing. No. The Departed did though. That movie made me proud to have bollocks.
What do people really think of me?
Song: High School
Artist: MC5
Comment: What can I say... I'm a 28 year old boy.
Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Beats to the Rhyme
Artist: Run DMC
Comment: heh-heh-heh... they beat to my rhyme. The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the beat of the feet. Ho-ho!
How can I make myself happy?
Song: Shakedown
Artist: Bob Seger
Comment: All right, just keep doing what I'm doing. Man, for a lot of randomness this makes some freaking sense.
What should I do with my life?
Song: The Reggae
Artist: From The Breakfast club OST (id3 tags are fecked plus I'm not cheating)
Comment: So in other words, sit on my butt, nod my head and do bad Jamacian impressions. Damn, this really is insightful.
Will I ever have children?
Song: One
Artist: Three Dog Night
Comment: This is starting to freak me serious. But my policy here is firm. If there is one there must be another. Family is everything. You need to have somebody out there that'll have your back no matter what and without question and a sibling should be that person. Wow, that was an insightful personal thought. We shall return to bad jokes and irreverence shortly.
What is some good advice for me?
Song: Nookie
Artist: Limp Bizkit
Comment: I'm going to capitalise this because it needs it. I'M HONESTLY NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP, I'M FOLLOWING THE RULES AND THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING. HONEST TO GOD.
What do I think my current theme song is?
Song: The Killing Moon
Artist: Echo and the Bunnymen
Comment: Whoa, I just got inspiration.
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Song: A Lesson Learned
Artist: Limp Bizkit
Comment: That's right, I'm an informer. But I'm no rat. Saw a film about rats last night. Jack Nicholson was in it. He rules.
What song will play at my funeral?
Song: Clowns (Can you see me now?)
Artist: Tatu
Comment: I expect the Egg will get someone to do a cover version.
What type of men/women do you like?
Song: Good Souls
Artist: Starsailor
Comment: Yeah, that be true. All this insight is cramping my style.
What is my day going to be like?
Song: Breathe
Artist: Prodigy
Comment: My day has been real f'n simple. Like breathing. Simple.
Why am I here?
Song: Feel the Night (Karate Kid OST)
Artist: Baxter Robinson
Comment: This seems like a great moment for a tasteless Steve Irwin joke: Although Steve was married to Terri he still had a place in his heart for Barb. (Think about it...)
What will people remember me for?
Song: Figment
Artist: Shaun of the Dead OST
Comment: Remember me for being loyal to my brother? That is more than fine with me. Yup.
What song will be stuck in my head tomorrow?
Song: Little by Little
Artist: Groove Armada
Comment: It's f'n stuck now. Bastard.
Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Song: Toys in the Attic
Artist: Aerosmith
Comment: Arrgh, I had a dream about this once. Wreck-Gar came to life and took over the Earth and kept me prisoner in a stately flat mutilating me every night. My dreams kick ass.
What will this year be all about?
Song: My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters
Comment: I'm jinxing nothing here. Nada.
Which song will carry bad memories for this year?
Song: Suck My Kiss
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Comment: Oh no... No! Do not let this be true. There's a serious (tenuous) connection here now. I'll reveal it should it happens it happens.
Which song will come with good memories from this year?
Song: . Goblin Zombi / Zombie Nation Kernkraft 400 (Osymyso Mix)
Artist: Shaun of the Dead OST
Comment: Not another serious (tenuous) connection here. Again I'll reveal it should it come to pass.
What is your family like?
Song: Light and Dark
Artist: Nappy Roots
Comment: It is safe to say I'm getting a tad spooked by this.
What are your friends like?
Song: Children in Chains (Temple of Doom OST)
Artist: John Williams
Comment: Hmmm....
What's your romantic life like?
Song: Fire Leap (Wicker Man OST)
Artist: Paul Giovanni
Comment: <insert own syphillis/gonnorohea joke here --- fuck me, I spelled 'gonnorohea' right the first time. I got skills, baby>
What kind of mood will you be in today?
Song: End credits
Artist: Fist of Fury OST (I think)
Comment: Yeah. I did things today in as funky and upbeat a groove as possible.
What kind of mood will you be in this week?
Song: More Than a Woman
Artist: Bee Gees
Comment: Oh too fecking right about that. I saw The Departed last night, you know. That film will do things to a man, a great many things. Shame there's no cheap shoddy porno theatre on this rock. I'd have done my Jack Nicholson impersonation this morning.
What will you have a dream about soon?
Song: In the Air Tonight (Miami Vice)
Artist: Nonpoint
Comment: This seems likely, especially given I had that crazy dream last week after seeing the Switchblade sisters trailer.
How will you die?
Song: Double or Nothing
Artist: Kenny Rogers & Gladys Knight
Comment: A gamble? Yeah, that seems... apt. Yeesh.
What will you look like at 85?
Song: One Day Remains
Artist: Alter Bridge
Comment: Fuck off. That's almost funny.
Where will you meet your worst enemy?
Song: Christchurch Fireworks Music
Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Comment: [Jim Mora impression] Christchurch? Don't talk to me about Christchurch? Christchurch? Are you kidding me? I'll be amazed if I leave my rock againl. [/Jim Mora impression]
What do you hate the most?
Song: Chop Chop (Wicker Man OST)
Artist: Paul Giovanni
Comment: The choppers. I don't like the choppers. Especially the ones without helmets. They make no sense to me. (snigger, how lame). Inspiration strikes again..
What do you love the most?
Song: Busy Bee
Artist: Ugly Kid Joe
Comment: A damned fine worker. Yes. Makes life much easier. You show me someone that disagrees I'll show you a filthy f'n c*nt.
What makes you feel like jumping out a window?
Song: Bus Stop
Artist: The Hollies
Comment: Frankly the first track that really makes no sense. I mean really. How can someone connect me throwing myself out a window to a Bus Stop. I can't. If you figure something plausible out I owe you a thumping. (Thank God I remembered the T in 'thumping' there. Could have been... problematic )
If you could be someplace else where would you want to be?
Song: Why Don't You Get a Job
Artist: Offspring
Comment: Work. Yes, that's where I wanted to be because I did this before I went today and only typing it up now.
How would you describe your childhood:
Song: Never
Artist: Overseer
Comment: Hmmm, I can see how that fits. Yes.
What should your next adventure be?
Song: Lose Yourself
Artist: Eminem
Comment: Oh yeah. I'm going plunging the plums for this one. Balls deep.
What was a recent obsession?
Song: Vampire Hunters (Bram Stoker's Dracula OST)
Artist: Wojciech Keller
Comment: This is weirdly true. Both the actual song and titles were recent 'obessions'.
What should you start collecting?
Song: Scorpio's Theme (Dirty Harry OST)
Artist: Lalo Schifren
Comment: Nuns, women, cops and kids with a sniper rifle? Or Scorpios in general? This will be meditated upon.
Who do you want to invite for dinner?
Song: Naked
Artist: Spice Girls
Comment: What how did this get on... argh, that's how. Anyway I'm sure Freud would have a field day with this. Now to delete this track... done. Must be more vigilant in the rip.
This actually kicked ass. Was cool.
Man that spoiler thing is convienent.
Let's see, what else. There's nothing. The content in the spoilers jived me out. i done. Kaput finito. Is all. Nothing left to spit out at the moment except...
Take it away... Bob.
Beverly Hills butts. God bless America.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Damned good read that. Damned good.
You should have pulled a 'Jack Nicholson in the porno theatre from The Departed' act. Nobody would be giving much of a feck about being upstaged after that.
Are you really a professional alcohol tester?
I've yet to see the film, but a brief google session reveals something about a cop and a dildo. I can only assume that hilarity ensued.
While I don't officially get paid to drink one could easily make the mistake of thinking I do. I drink like it's my job. Luckily if you saw me do my actual job you would realize why I'm not dead from alcohol poisoning yet. Damn I'm a slacker.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliment!
Cheers mate