0
Jeez, havent been on here since July...its now October..sorry folks.. anyway just letting everyone know i am okay..i am still off the benzos and cut the final drug i was abusing about a month ago now..(Imovane/Zopiclone).. The insomnia's a nitemare but i think the worst of it is over.
Anyway i had a fight a few weeks back..won...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
thora:
miao!!
northron:
Swapping meds always seems to be a nightmare. The benzos, oof, strong stuff, and no fun in my recollection.
0
I told him no contact none, it lasted 3 days before he turnt up at my house trying to hug me and tell me how much he missed "fucking" me. Made me laugh. Cos in a very short time, well since i posted i have begun to let go.
Next point..is there such thing as a man that can only look at one woman...
Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
thora:
I understand.
Best wishes for your operation. kiss
inks:
".is there such thing as a man that can only look at one woman, only want her, only love her.. "

i say yes there is. i have been working on finding someone myself. I'm a hopeless romantic, but i find that I'm not a douche or play games.

but i want to ask is there a woman who truly wants to settle down now days?

good luck with the surgeon, i really hope that you can work it out. and i am sorry about your ex
0
Confused confused so fucking confused. I dont get why he said he loved me so much and so often for nearly two years, then cheats, then i try work things out but he doesnt want to know about it, doesnt think we should be together, we arent meant to be..how can you just decide that, how do you even know these things, it fucks...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
gunn45:
There are SO MANY people of character out there....what if you waste two more years of your precious time with this person who doesn't know what he has and doesn't think your feelings and emotions are worth anything - (obviously not worth as much as his own pleasure, anyway)....and meanwhile your perfect love is out there, and you miss him....wouldn't that be a shame. Please Please Please realize right now that he will only cause you more pain in the future - you can take that to the bank - and the pain is inevitable, so why not get it over with right now, and go find that guy who truly loves you, and will spend his entire life making yours the best it can possibly be.

They are out there....and one of them is looking for you, too.
78walk:
If you were to succeed in convincing this guy to get back together, at this point, it wouldn't matter what you said verbally. The underlying message would be "I'm willing to put up with a lifetime of abuse".

There is no love that's worth causing yourself to have a miserable life. Feelings are something we can't always help, but we can choose to put our rational self in charge of behavior and decision-making.
0
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jozsef:
Your terminology suggests an observer rather than a participant. Perception and reality intertwine in interesting ways but ultimately you pay the price of further harm to your health in the tangible, physical world irrespective of how you might conceptualize your situation.

Other people have the power to say or do whatever they will and some of those things have to hurt initially. However, only you have the power to decide what you will do in response and how you follow that up. It's never too soon or too late to go after the life you want rather than reacting to external disappointments and betrayals. The past will not disappear but you are the one shaping your present and future. I know how hard it is, believe me. ♥
78walk:
Just wanted to say I agree wholeheartedly with Jozsef's eloquent words. Joy and pain are both natural parts of life. The only way to escape either of them is to make oneself dead to the world, but that strategy really makes life a pointless exercise. What determines whether I will be a happy person who leads a fruitful life is the relative weight I give positive and negative experiences - joy and sadness.

It is within your power to choose happiness over sadness and despair, because happiness is NOT dependent on fortunate turns of events. It's available to anyone who chooses to shift their focus more toward the light, and less toward the dark. Our bodies can withstand a lot of abuse, but there is a limit. I very much hope you can find your way to make that shift in focus before it's too late.
0
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
sminks:
stay strong lady x
dalila:
be strong! i know you are, so be it wink
0
Thank you all for your lovely comments, i really do appreciate it!kiss
Things are still confusing, but my head is clearing. I just cannot wait to be able to let go and move on.I hate him for what he has done to me, my life really did get turnt upside down. But it will be for the better, and i am going to avoid...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
misterwolf94:
kiss dear... (and yes... really odd..hehe...)
zodiswide:
Who would try and stop someone getting tattoos? That's just weird.
0
So my boyfriend cheated on me, then decided that we cannot be together, regardless of what i say or what i want. I am still in love with him, id do anything, and i know im probably a fucking idiot, but love is blind.
In the meantime i havent eaten properly in nearly 2 weeks, im using sedatives whenever i get the chance, and i...
Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
metaverse:
You just do. It's never easy. I wish I could say something that would be more helpful..but that's all I got right now. Hang in there.
john_:
Totally sucks frown just gotta hang in there and try not to kill anyone in the mean time. You look amazing and in awesome shape, you will come out on top.
0
Well ive completely shut myself off from the outside world so ive come back to old familiar places. Ive had a shit of a fucking week, which i may or may not go into detail about on here.But i have removed myself off facebook, but have remained here and on tumblr, because im anonymous, i know very few in person, which is a fucking...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
vvmartini:
you are amazing (:
andthen:

You remain in my thoughts. Be strong, OK ?
0
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
th0mps0n:
Your hair makes me a feel slightly envious. Good luck with the scan and take it easy with that hip smile
vvmartini:
you are so gorgeous
0
Back again for a moan. Motherfucker i am sore as shit tonight. I went back to my DR he has ordered me off work for 2 weeks and gave me lots of drugs, that are doing shit fuck all! FUUCCCKKK!
Scan in 12 days, seems so long, specialist tried to get date moved forward but hospital fully booked.SHIT AND ASSSS!
Anyway im going to...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
jozsef:
After nearly 4 years you may have figured out that I'm interested in what you're up to, so that could be why you're telling me. One can only hope. tongue I finished watching Rubicon, a sort of mystery suspense show about intelligence analysts and now I'm on the The Lying Game, a novel exercise of 25 to 30+ year olds portraying high school students. It's standard US style casting and it's very strange to watch. This revelation should provide the proverbial bullet to the brain of any reputation I may have enjoyed here, but what the hell, we all have our little quirks.

Please consult and obey your doctor, my dear. I don't know about what your condition entails but imagining you in a wheelchair is not my idea of fun and I worry about you exercising right now. You already know you can get strong so what's the big deal about taking care of an injury? It requires a different kind of strength but I know you have tons of it. (Metaphorical tons, OK?) I wrecked my left knee and I'm treating it with TV therapy right now. Love you, sweetie! ♥
jozsef:
You raise an important point, and while you will always care about your friends, you needn't agree with every decision. I think we both have concerns about how it will play out but we hope for a happy result. There's no conflict because we do hope that she's right and our trepidation turns out to be unjustified. Those are feelings you don't need to hide because there is no judgment or malice involved. Every time someone rejects my suggestions I hope I'm wrong. Ah, the joys of not constantly evaluating one's own worth; it's a lovely thing. wink