Drunkopalypse: The Death of Sleep
Few things make for a better vacation than spending it with the right people. I don't care if I'm drinking a slurpee out of a supermodel's asshole in the No Questions Asked Theme Park, it would suck without the right people to enjoy it with. That's how San Francisco was. If I was alone or with one other person besides...
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Few things make for a better vacation than spending it with the right people. I don't care if I'm drinking a slurpee out of a supermodel's asshole in the No Questions Asked Theme Park, it would suck without the right people to enjoy it with. That's how San Francisco was. If I was alone or with one other person besides...
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VIEW 25 of 59 COMMENTS
For those of you who may have recenly stopped whatever you were doing to silently wonder what the future held for your favorite legally recognized afro-american white guy named Zak, I have composed a short "Things that will rock me in 2005!" list for your convenience.
- May 13: I head to San Francisco to test the boundries of morality and good taste at SG...
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- May 13: I head to San Francisco to test the boundries of morality and good taste at SG...
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VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
naja_haje:
It really is such a shame that bloodthirsty vampirates didn't burst through the walls of the Red Devil Lounge because those chandeliers were made for delivering swinging chin kicks and crotch chokings.
Great to meet the 3D Z!
Great to meet the 3D Z!
Update: The Novel (picture book edition)
First of all I'd like to thank everyone who stopped by to acknowledge the anniversary of the day I decided to get my shit together and move out of my Mom's uterus. I started to thank everyone individually, but the number of people who posted was quickly surpassing the number of people I wrote back. It started to remind...
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First of all I'd like to thank everyone who stopped by to acknowledge the anniversary of the day I decided to get my shit together and move out of my Mom's uterus. I started to thank everyone individually, but the number of people who posted was quickly surpassing the number of people I wrote back. It started to remind...
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VIEW 25 of 33 COMMENTS
coco:
are you staying at the san remo, daddy? and will you email me your digits?
scopitone6248:
You tuck?!
Terry Tucker is born,
Terry Tucker is born,
Because I didn't know enough assholes in real life
All right, online gamers. I've given you the benefit of the doubt. I've tried several times to give it a go in your little world. I say now that with the exception of almost two people, you have succeeded in fulfilling every single stereotype that the world of people who get laid has ever attached to...
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All right, online gamers. I've given you the benefit of the doubt. I've tried several times to give it a go in your little world. I say now that with the exception of almost two people, you have succeeded in fulfilling every single stereotype that the world of people who get laid has ever attached to...
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VIEW 25 of 141 COMMENTS
aspen:
i think i said 3% spandex and it was 4% 
you say that to all the girls.
you say that to all the girls.
prophetnoise:
ok, so i'm going to leave this in both places because my world of logic and function is caving in on itself right now.
How is it that you're an SG?
http://suicidegirls.com/girls/UnnecessaryZ/342142/
as opposed to
http://suicidegirls.com/members/UnnecessaryZ/
??
Is there some magical gender bending world of SG that i'm unnaware of?
Meh... Quite an interesting attempt at superhero-dom. What you forgot to do was wear your underwear on the outside and come up with a Superhero name for yourself. Then it would have worked.
All in all, i'm usually more responsive as well. But moving sucks. Well, moving out of the crackhouse i'm living in rocks. But moving for the 17th+ time in the past 6 years sucks. SG is only a passing thing in between truckloads of stuff here and there. Maybe i'll be a little more aware of my friends list when the move is over.
How is it that you're an SG?
http://suicidegirls.com/girls/UnnecessaryZ/342142/
as opposed to
http://suicidegirls.com/members/UnnecessaryZ/
??
Is there some magical gender bending world of SG that i'm unnaware of?
Meh... Quite an interesting attempt at superhero-dom. What you forgot to do was wear your underwear on the outside and come up with a Superhero name for yourself. Then it would have worked.
All in all, i'm usually more responsive as well. But moving sucks. Well, moving out of the crackhouse i'm living in rocks. But moving for the 17th+ time in the past 6 years sucks. SG is only a passing thing in between truckloads of stuff here and there. Maybe i'll be a little more aware of my friends list when the move is over.
When Updates Attack 2: Updates that Get Bored of Attacking and Saunter off to do Something Involving More Video Games
First off, to everyone that turned down the one and only opportunity to visit my house and play video games, watch UFC 52, and eat chicken wings, I sincerely hope your penises are doing better, wherever they may be. You missed an awesome time and...
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First off, to everyone that turned down the one and only opportunity to visit my house and play video games, watch UFC 52, and eat chicken wings, I sincerely hope your penises are doing better, wherever they may be. You missed an awesome time and...
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VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
krrn:
oh sweet christ, so that actually did happen? 
me= dumb drunk.
me= dumb drunk.
bastardo:
Thas wha I'm talkin' bout.
All right, I don't really have anything to say, but the weather stopped being as awesome as my previous entry would have you believe. I'm updating it so you guys don't look outside in confusion and write me off as some kind of fruity goth kid who thinks dark clouds are the beautiful reflection of the darkness in my soul. I like sun. I like...
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misterusername:
Great time last night. We should hit up that fight in AC. Thanks.
acetracer:
[Edited on Apr 19, 2005 10:35AM]
[Edited on Apr 19, 2005 10:35AM]
Tell you what. You let me know when things stop being fucked up around here. I'm going to be outside enjoying this weather and maybe cartwheeling.
In case you live in New York and haven't been outside, the forecast calls for hell yeah with a chance of being awesome.
In case you live in New York and haven't been outside, the forecast calls for hell yeah with a chance of being awesome.
VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
mistakesmade:
I'm still better then you
xoxo
Your Loving nemisis
xoxo
Your Loving nemisis
judypatricia:
I think you and I need another night of watching me push food around my plate, soon. I felt a little too crappy for the open call last night.
Last Weekend IV: Double Weekend Impact
"...never a dull moment! A delightfully unpredictable ending will leave your mind in fucking ruin!" - Ebert & Roeper
Friday the 11th began a short yet intense weekend of awesome danger with the arrival of Maxx and zotted member anything. Instantly recognizing the cape wearing psychopath Maxx, I proceeded to aid them in their quest to get drunk...
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"...never a dull moment! A delightfully unpredictable ending will leave your mind in fucking ruin!" - Ebert & Roeper
Friday the 11th began a short yet intense weekend of awesome danger with the arrival of Maxx and zotted member anything. Instantly recognizing the cape wearing psychopath Maxx, I proceeded to aid them in their quest to get drunk...
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VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
misterusername:
Good fight last night. However, it makes for a shitty final. Diego is going to tap Kenny out in less than a minute. Kenny is so outclassed.
Also, I'm finally a staff writer on The Shaved Report. Check out my article on Sandra Bullock a little later today.
Also, I'm finally a staff writer on The Shaved Report. Check out my article on Sandra Bullock a little later today.
fatality:
It was good and drunkenness-inducing.
Airing Out My Vagina
I just realized the other day that I spend more time telling you how much of a pain in the ass my brother is than I spend telling you how awesome he is. So in order to rectify this unjustifiable lack of props, I'm going to break down the ways in which my brother is better than yours. This is more...
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I just realized the other day that I spend more time telling you how much of a pain in the ass my brother is than I spend telling you how awesome he is. So in order to rectify this unjustifiable lack of props, I'm going to break down the ways in which my brother is better than yours. This is more...
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VIEW 25 of 50 COMMENTS
clara:
Thanks for the birthday greeting. I choose dog catcher. 
wraith7000:
...wait, I'm the younger brother..but I rule and my brother's dead, so I guess it evens out 
I went to a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class last night and my entire body is fucking through. I'm bruised, cut, broken, and I loved every minute of it. It's been awhile since I've gotten the chance to fight. It's also been awhile since I've spent the better part of a night with my face in a man's crotch under totally sober conditions. That's what I get...
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VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
sixsixty:
ha it's true! it's true! but in that not gay porn way.
Ultimate Gratification
For years I have felt an emptiness in my life that couldn't be explained until recently. During that time, people have been experiencing new ways of living vicariously through their television, and I've lived with a bitter lack of satisfaction the entire time. It seemed like everyone had a show that portrayed the desires they would be fulfilling if they weren't horribly unmotivated...
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For years I have felt an emptiness in my life that couldn't be explained until recently. During that time, people have been experiencing new ways of living vicariously through their television, and I've lived with a bitter lack of satisfaction the entire time. It seemed like everyone had a show that portrayed the desires they would be fulfilling if they weren't horribly unmotivated...
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VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
misterusername:
You should have put the "faggot" at the front of the sentance. It just looks like if you're asking me if I'm gay otherwise.
Ong Bak forever!
Ong Bak forever!
waxangel:
I just watched Ultimate Fighter where everyone got way too wasted.
What a train wreck.
But funny.
What a train wreck.
But funny.
Super Damage Deposit Bros.
I blame video games for the current state of my once bachelorific apartment. My younger brother's generation has been raised in a digital fantasy world where smashing mundane everyday objects holds the very real possibility of rewarding them with super-human strength granting mushrooms or electrified pet monsters. Very rarely does a game depict its characters walking into a store and purchasing...
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I blame video games for the current state of my once bachelorific apartment. My younger brother's generation has been raised in a digital fantasy world where smashing mundane everyday objects holds the very real possibility of rewarding them with super-human strength granting mushrooms or electrified pet monsters. Very rarely does a game depict its characters walking into a store and purchasing...
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VIEW 25 of 67 COMMENTS
mistersatan:
Dear slut,
I'd be interested in writing for your site, that shaved goat thinger. They still looking for hacks?
Yours in Jesus,
Debbie
I'd be interested in writing for your site, that shaved goat thinger. They still looking for hacks?
Yours in Jesus,
Debbie
glad you enjoyed yourself